I have only begun to date this guy. when we go out I am expected to sit by him and not go across the room to socialize. I am very social and I have a lot of friends. Should I be expected to give up my friends ? I think he is trying to control me. what do u think?
2006-07-20 10:07:58 · 36 answers · asked by Vidra 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, theres no reason for him to be this jealous and/or controlling if you just met him. He shouldn't be controlling no matter how long you've known him. Get rid of him, it will only get worse.
2006-07-20 10:09:58 · answer #1 · answered by Amilucky0707 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually... are your friends guys or girls? Because if he wants you to sit by him instead of dancing and flirting with other guys, then... well, I'm not saying his behavior is right or wrong, but I am saying its understandable. Some guys are a little bit insecure, or they have had past girlfriends flirt and cheat or whatever and so they feel really dissed if you pay attention to other guys, or other people in general for that matter. Some guys want to feel like they are your focus. You should talk to him about it. But if he is being aggressive and controlling, or makes you feel put down in any way, then you should probably end it. Trust your instincts and stay away from potentially abusive people.
2006-07-20 10:18:39 · answer #2 · answered by alohajen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's the one, or an awesome catch -- dump your friends. Your friends won't protect you, spend money on you, and love you the same way your partner can. Your friends should understand and support your allocating more of your time to him.
If he's overbearing and giving you an attitude because you spend a few minutes with friends at a party -- he's very insecure and that's likely a problem. Another note: if he doesn't know anyone at the party -- you'll need to babysit him more.
Just make sure you're giving him a fair shake.
2006-07-20 10:16:48 · answer #3 · answered by Dave's Quick Notes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. He should be expected to be a part of the group. If he is already showing a controlling attitude, then I would choose my friends over that particular person you're dating.
If he liked you and who you are as a person, he would also want you to continue being with your friends; he would want to meet your friends, and be a part of your social circle. However, if he feels you are in the wrong crowd, or that your friends are stoners or dopers, then he may be doing you a favor to get you away from them.
2006-07-20 10:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the opposite problem my friends wanted me to give up my guy, I didn't and we married, my "friends" are still doing the same stupid stuff years later with no end in sight or no man. I definately made the right choice. You don't want a controlling man, though, imagine if you have been together for years. You won't be able to go outside.
2006-07-20 10:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to growing up!
Ask yourself the same question. On a date, do you expect him to be with you? Or is it OK for him to go hang out with his friends leaving you alone. If you would be upset if the situation you described were reversed, then your actions border on the hypocritical.
In general, a date is a promise. To go across the room and socialize with other friends is essentially breaking that promise.
2006-07-20 10:29:55 · answer #6 · answered by Jimmy J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely, he has a control issue. Be careful honey bunches of oats, cause he can very well be an abuser. That is their motive, to separate you from everybody then pounce. Kick his a$$ to the curb quick, he should want to be a part of your world, I smell $hit. Don't become a statistic, RUN! You can do better dear heart, promise. Good luck.
2006-07-20 10:14:39 · answer #7 · answered by nina_ross692000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's ridiculous! The only reason you should choose is if one is treating the other one poorly. One of my friends is disrespectful to my fiance, so our friendship has pretty much dwindled. Beyond that...there is no reason to choose.
He may have trust issues which will eventually lead to bigger problems if he can't get over them. He may also be self-conscious around your friends. If that's the case...be careful. He may want to socialize, but if you just get up and leave him...he may feel awkward.
2006-07-20 10:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by green is clean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT give up ur friends...this guy sounds like a bad match 4 u. Don't be duped into letting him control u. Dump him. Don't wait because it might be dangerous later.
2006-07-20 10:11:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is absolutely trying to control you and that is the first sign of the future abuse to come. This is one of the things they do in order to isolate you so that once the real 'fun' begins you have nobody to go to for help. Lose this jerk now, dont' waste another minute on him and good for you for recognizing it so early on!!
2006-07-20 10:12:29 · answer #10 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋