My husband to be has a speech problem. My dad laughs and says it sounds like he has rocks in his mouth. It makes me mad at my dad. I want to cry when my dad makes fun of him.
2006-07-20 09:50:39 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
that isn't nice especially for your dad to act that way and really not nice at all that he is making fun of your soon to be husband you need to let him know how you feel he should understand
2006-07-20 10:11:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
.
If you want to "cry" when your Dad makes fun of the man you have chosen to marry...
then dear lady, you need to grow-up from your Dad's influence.
If you've toleterated this kind of emotional hurt from your Dad for years before... well, guess what, NOW is the time you STOP tolerating it.
It is ok and dandy to let your Dad know you love him, but he is not allowed to make fun of your soon-to-be-husband, you, or future children.
Hon, BE the lioness, and take care of your own.
You're doing and adult thing by getting married...so BE and adult.
Dad is ignorant. YOU can't CONTROL him, but you CAN let him know there are CONSEQUENCES for his "unacceptable" behavor...
let him know, when he has an attack of making-fun-at- the expense of either of you, that you will excuse yourself from the day's visit. And let him know you will do this EVERYTIME he behaves badly. THEN do exactly as you said.
This is handled without anger. It is handled just like you would deal with a misbehaving child.
You phone Dad, and let him know in a mature and adult way what you won't tolerate during your visit.
OK, next visit, Dad will call you bluff.
In the same minute that he insults, you look at your watch and jump up and say, OH MY GOSH! We have to go now.
If they say "why????" You answer as you rush out the door "I'll let you know later" and leave.
It's pretty simple, one or two times, and he'll get the message loud and clear.
stw
;)
2006-07-20 10:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your dad he is an ignorant a$$, perhaps point out some things about him that aren't so great (is he balding or does he have a little pot belly or does he wear really goofy clothes?) there is something there. A taste of his own medicine should straighten him up. You didn't say how old you are but I would certainly not subject my fiance to this man, he would just be excluded from everything and since you are going to marry this man that would mean he would be excluded from my life. Has he always been such a jerk? if so then thats just who he is and the only way to quit being hurt by this man is by not being involved with him. if he's willing to lose contact with his daughter rather than just being a descent human being i'd say its no great loss to your life anyway.
2006-07-20 09:55:45 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry your dad does that. I am assuming you love your father, and you should,
Maybe you can tell him that every time he makes a comment that is cruel, if hurts you,
What does your mother say?
iS YOU DAD JUST A WISE GUY, MOUTHY, or is this new?
You sound sweet and caring,
and there are so many things you could say to your father,but i think you probably have,,
You can not change anyone,they need to change themselves if change occurs,
How about write you dad a letter, and tell him how much you love him,? AND then tell him wonderful things about him (your dad), THEN recall wonderful moments you remember growing up. and times that you were proud of him,
then tell him, you want him to be a large part of your family life, and be proud of him as a father, (and walk you down the isle)
then, tell him, or ask him, (your father) DOES IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO YOU WHETHER I AM OK, OR NOT, HAPPY OR SAD..
AND THEN, TELL HIM THE PURPOSE OF THIS LETTER IS TO TELL YOU THAT YOU hurt me, so much when you repeatedly make fun of the man i love, and it chips at my heart, and i am asking you as lovingly as possible to stop this behavior, and respect my husband to be , as well as me,
GOOD LUCK, I HOPE YOU FIND THE RIGHT ANSWER, BUT DO NOT ACCEPT THAT KIND OF ABUSE, Your parents, are family, they do not own you or your choices, or feelings, and should be proud of you and support you in your choices, (whether right or wrong in their opinion it is your life and choices) AND YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND CELEBRATING YOUR LOVE.
2006-07-20 10:05:06 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry it happens in the best of families and the more you react the more he will make fun. If you spouse is a good strong guy he will laugh it off too and make some equally amusing remark about you dad
2006-07-20 09:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by huge001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very caring and sensitive person. Your Dad needs to know that this is hurting you, and that he cannot continue this bad behaviour.
You didn't say how your husband-to-be responds, but maybe you should tell him to say to your Dad that he shouldn't talk to him that way. It's deeply disrespectful.
2006-07-20 09:56:35 · answer #6 · answered by Myrna B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with your dad and tell him how it makes you feel when he insults your partner. Point out that you are aware that he has a speech problem but you love him anyway and he makes you happy. Your dad won't change his opinion (maybe he will) but he should keep it to himself. Hopefully he's understanding enough to see how much he is hurting you.
2006-07-20 09:54:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father has no respect apparently. Not for you or your fiance. You need to let him know how you feel and tell him that he needs to stop because you intend to marry this man!! Tell him that you love this man and that you will not stand for him to continue to act like a child. Tell him that it makes you angry and hurts you deeply to have him do this. Tell him that if he cannot be respectful that you are going to have to stop speaking to him or something. I mean you are obviously grown and in a happy relationship so why should your father spoil it? He should be glad that in this day and age you have found someone who is actually worth keeping around. Make note of that to him as well. Good Luck!! BE STRONG!!
2006-07-20 09:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him once. Be clear. End of story.
If he does it again...remind him of your request in a nice way. If he says anything - explain to him (with a loving smile on your face) that your happiness comes first, and so does your new family. If he wants to never see his daughter because he has to make lame jokes about a silly speech impediment, then that is his decision.
2006-07-20 09:55:04 · answer #9 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dad is being very insenstive a lot of times parents will do that because they think that no one is good enough for their little girl.
talk to your dad tell him you'll always love but now you're going to be sharing your love with someone else. and that whether he likes it or not that is how it is going to be. I mean your not asking you dad to let you be happy. your an adult. tell your dad you love him but marrige is not to be played with.
hope everything is going right. and remember your're the one in charge of your life
2006-07-20 09:56:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋