I talked to him about it, but I don't want him to get addicted, what should I do?
2006-07-20 09:23:00 · 27 answers · asked by Big Mama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He may be legally grown, but if you dont want him watching that stuff, then put adult content blockers on your computers and tell him as long as he's living under your roof, porn is a no-no. Your house, your rules. :)
And as sexually driven as men are, he cant help but get addicted. If you're Christian, you should tell him how it is sinful.
"Pornography trains men to value a woman by how much lust she generates in him. He may jokingly try to convince himself that it isnt a problem, but his ability to love a woman is being crippled. While he's busy fantasizing, his masculinty disappears. If a girl is unfortuneate enough to come into his life, he'll make the frustrating mistake of confusing love with lust. While love involves sacrifice and commitment, pornography teaches you to reduce others to sexual objects that can be used and then discarded once your passion wears off......" (Pure Love by Jason Evert)
2006-07-20 09:47:33 · answer #1 · answered by Mizzy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
People are right- it's your house, your computer, your rules. It is up to do if your son can look at porn on your computer.
However, it is perfectly normal for a 19 year-old to be interested in sex and it's not a wise idea to make him feel otherwise, unless he is looking at illegal stuff.
I disagree with Fluffy Panda's assertion that men get addicted to porn- sure, some do, but consider how many men have at one time or another looked at porn- they are just being curious and exploring their sexuality- which at 19 is not a bad thing- the majority go on to find wives or partners and have fulfiling, loving relationships.
2006-07-20 10:30:41 · answer #2 · answered by darth_timon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 19 and its perfectly normal. Don't be the Dad in American Pie that goes into long speeches and critiques porn but understand that he's just looking. Its better than him sleeping with as many women as he can. If you brought him up with an understanding of sex and talked about it in a non embarrassing way then he should be just fine. He's a teenager and no offense, if his dad is in the picture have him talk to him about it. Its a lot more difficult coming from your Mom.
2006-07-20 09:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Embarassed for whom? It's natural for a 19 year old to want to look at porn. It might be good to make sure that he isn't amassing huge credit card charges. Also, if he lives with you and you just don't want that stuff in your house, restrict his use of the computer, otherwise, he is 19 and not even a minor any longer and that's the way he's choosing to entertain himself.
2006-07-20 09:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by Lex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly natural for a kid his age to be looking at porn, unless he is involved with someone and actively engaging in sex (and maybe even still then). I wouldn't be concerned, as long as he isn't spending money on your credit cards or looking at "bad" porn (i.e. child pornography, rape, incest, etc.).
There are products you can buy which monitor internet usage, or block certain sites. However, if you try to forbid him from doing something that (partially) satisfies a natural urge, he will only find other ways to relieve that tension, like staying out all night with strange girls who may have STD's or some such nonsense.
I would let him be, but you may want to set some guidelines. If he is using a computer that other members of the family use, make it clear to him that you do not expect to find any digital remnants of his surfing on the hard drive for you or your other kids to find.
2006-07-20 09:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by Danzarth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like other answers, it is normal. Curiosity has gotten the best of your son at this "phase" in life.
Here's the way I look at it. Tell him you don't agree with him doing it. Blocking your computer is one of doing it, but he will find ways to look at porn.
It's better he do that at the safety of home, rather than going out and getting into trouble.
Definitely talk to him. Explain to him that this is a phase and natural, but tell him not to get too obsessed.
Keep a close eye on him. If you catch him, scould him. If you find Playboys, make him throw it away.
2006-07-20 09:29:02 · answer #6 · answered by Scott D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first observation is that your 19 year old son lives at home. Maybe it's time for him to get his own place. Secondly, just because someone looks at porn does not make them an addict. You should allow him some privacy, but also set some rules if it is your computer. Everyone needs "alone time".
2006-07-20 09:27:09 · answer #7 · answered by Jodi S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him be. He is an adult and it is perfectly normal for an adult male to look at porn. Don't worry about "addiction" until you see him completely withdrawing from life and only spending time on the computer.
Don't be embarrassed either. It happens. Move on and forget it.
2006-07-20 09:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave it alone hes 19 its better than him out trying to get in girls pants, and the bigger deal you make out of it the worse it will be. Put a parental blocker on your computer if you must but he is 19 meaning he is an adult making decisions for himself this is one of those. And telling him you don't want him to get addicted to porn will make him laugh. I understand your concern but I think your making this bigger than it should be.
2006-07-20 09:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by vanessa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man it's natural to look at porn. As long as he is not neglecting his other duties. Like (Work, School, Stuff around the house, Socialization) I mean as long as he is still doing everything he normally does. A little porn never hut anyone.
2006-07-20 09:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋