Behavioral issues in autistic three year old.?

Question

I am a mother of a three year old autistic boy.He can be a sweetheart but 90% percent of the day cries/screams and throws tantrums.It is to the point where I cant get anything done.Please, considering his condition does anyone know some usefull techniques to lessen these breakdowns.He cannot talk so i know that is some source of his frustration.

he also doesnt understand the concept of "waiting".Big issue when told to do so.I spend so many nights crying because I am only human,and can take but so much!

I have tried making him sit,and every time he gets up placing him back in his seat(he could do this all day) I have to constantly repeat myself to him,or constantly show him what it is I want him to do.

sorry i keep adding on,but he does receive therapy ABA,and it has seemed that his tantrums have grown worse since the therapy.

Wow,I have marfan syndrome as well!!!

Answer 1

I have a Little one with ADHD, OCD, Marfan's Syndrome, a Tic disorder & chronic lung disease. I feel your pain, sincerely.
That diagnosis was mentioned with my child, but it turned out to be other things.
As far as the behavior, the facility that diagnosised him should be able to set you up with therapy - behavioral, sensory/occupational, and speech. Some Autistic children can learn to talk. You should talk to him as much as possible. I know it is hard, but try to make eye contact if it does not cause him distress. I'm a firm beliver in using music to sooth and create a calm mood.
You my friend, need a support group. Sometimes just talking with others who truely understand is helpful. I have people even in my own family that I no longer go around because they just don't get it. You story is very similar to my own except for the speech. As I mentioned, my child has OCD & talking/repeating is one of his obsessions!!! He still has trouble with the waiting concept. I'm not in your shoes, but I can certainly relate to your struggle. I wish I could do more to help you.
~I wish you & your child the best . Take care of you too~
:-)

Answer 2

I have known one or two people that tried teaching them sign language, but that depends on the child. Watch when he does it, look around the room and study everything, take note of anything that isn't like it usually is, things that may overload his senses or simply hurt them, the time of day, what has been going on, anything. It could be that something is upsetting him. Anything from frustration of trying to do something, schedule changes, wanting your attention, etc. You know him best because you are his mother, just read his cues. Look at his body language and figure out anything there, try to find a common thread in when this happens and what may cause it, then try a series of elimination. Leave everything the same, changing only one thing at a time and watch what happens, eventually you will hopefully find part of the problem. If he is having increased tantrums with the ABA, then it may be too much right now. You could try stopping it for the time, or cutting his time in half at least. As for the waiting, find something that makes waiting easier for him. If he enjoys physical movement and is fidgety, find something for him to fidget with that interests him like a rubik's cube of sorts...something that puzzles but also calms and entertains him. If the waiting problem is more a matter of having your attention, then try singing a song for him while he waits, even if you are in another room, you can sing where he can hear you without being too loud. You could also try small tasks for while he is waiting, simply by noticing something he is good at and enjoys, and askig him to do that for some purpose. My daughter loves drawing, so I have her do something for a famil member she adores or of somethig she saw that day, it buys me time to wrap up what I'm doing and the family loves it.

Answer 3

Sign language. I worked with autistic kids for 4 years and have taken care of one from the time he was 18 months to 8 years. A lot of times when they won't listen they'll still see the sign language and respond. It worked very well. I used it and spoke at the same time. Breakdowns are always going to happen but it seems like you know that. Just keep trying to help him to communicate. UC Santa Barbara has an awesome autism program. I went with the mother of one of the kids I worked with and it was amazing how much more the boy was communicating at the end of the weeklong program.

Answer 4

I use a variety of herbal and natural remedies with child that displays autistic symptoms. The first thing that I would do is rub olive oil on the back, just below the ribs. What you are doing is lubricating the adrenal glands wth essential fatty acids. I have seen this work instantly to calm a kid down. I also use lavendar essential oil on the feet, back, chest and forehead to help calm. Burning vanilla scented candles seems to help too.

I am reluctant to recommend anything else I am doing because I am not a dr. I will say that I recently found these awesome cds in a program called Byonetics. It was developed by a man who had autism as a child and we are using these cds for the last month or so and are seeing improvement in some areas. Many people report amazing success: http://autism.comingbackhome.org/

There are homeopathic remedies that can be helpful in controlling symptoms - a practitioner in your area might help you find one that will bring your child peace. You can also get some relief with visualizing and prayer. Visualize your child happy and content - really see it - and see yourself happy and peaceful too. This can be very powerful. If you do it for 3-5 mins per day 2 or 3 times a day you could see positive improvement in short order.

Peace!

PS - I don't know if this is relevant, but I let my child use the computer and she does quite a lot. Now I know some say this will help her to be more anti-social, but I think she is learning so much and at a pace that she really comfortable with. By 5 she had taught herself to read - and right now we are using nutrition sites to try to get her interested in trying new foods. There is a great tutorial of sort, that I set up here: http://www.sonomamothersclub.org/kids_links.htm

If you scroll down to Online Games for Infants to Kindergarten you will see tons of sites and tips on helping your kids get the most out of this great tool. Of course she loves it so much, we had to get her a computer of her own - but she is peaceful and happy learning with it.

To respond to your additional comments:

I am with you sister. It is so hard. You wonder if they will ever be able to communicate with you. Remember though, these kids are very psychic and pick up on negative emotions (and feel that pain intensely). We need to be positive and hopeful for their sake and our own.

Byonetics might be a real blessing for you as it has been for me. They are cds with subliminal programming on them to help heal - and they have an additional cd for the parents and a great network and support group.

If you child has increased tantrums with the ABA I would stop it for now and try again in a month - or every month, until he is ready for it. Autistic kids are super special and i think that it is important to honor their wishes and give them at least some control in their life.

My child is 6 and when she becomes super willfull and tempermental it is because I have done something to annoy her. I moved a chair to vaccuum, i made her take her favorite pants off (because they were wet), I spent too much time with her sister, etc.

I try to explain to her as calmly as i can that this is the way it is and if she doesn't like it, she can go to her room and rage all she wants. Often that is what she does. Go to a room, close teh door, pick up her favorite book and elmo video and spend some time alone. I am told that their sensory perception is so acute that they can be overloaded at times and that quiet solitude in a preferred environment is the only thing that will help sometimes.

Answer 5

I really feel for you. I have a challenging three year old who can really wear me down. I have also worked in childcare for several years. The teachers who I've seen who do the best with autistic kids are the ones who see the child, not the diagnosis. They set expectations for the child, not of the autism. Kids can sense that and they really do respond. Good luck, cry if you need to, but get up and be strong again the next day. Your sweetheart really needs you!

Answer 6

He needs to be treated like a normal child. if he grows up thinking he has an excuse for his behavior it will only get worse and you will never help him. in a way he's a little like Helen Keller. you need to show him discipline and love. But don't let him get away with throwing a fit. make him understand that you love and that you want to help him. but allowing him to behave this way is not good for him or anyone.

Also get a sitter.
Not just anyone ask around....
When my kids was like that I needed a brake or I would have hurt her. So get a sitter. even though in todays world it is hard to trust people. ask around find someone that a lot of people trust. like my sitter was recommend to me by three different people and I watched her with my child before leaving her alone with her. Make sure the child and the sitter are at peace with each other.
I mean if the kids hates the sitter and the sitter hates the kid... not working... find someone who is patient and loves kids.
My sitter is very patient and because of it my daughter loves her. Look for someone who comes from a good home and understands that she/he is here to watch your child not talk on the phone and eat or watch TV.
hopes this helps.
remember you need a brake this will help you from braking and doing something you will regret

Answer 7

The only thing, I can't think of:
Maybe, you get your other two kids to help you teach him.
If you tell your other kids to wait and the do, in front of him.
He could learn the concept from them, (may take a little while).

Answer 8

Do you have a therapist come to your home to work with him? My nephew is Autistic as well and he has one come twice a week. Work on teaching him to sign so he can communicate to you. Also try to give him massages w/ relaxing scents like lavender. Sorry for your troubles and stay strong!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

only a doc can tell you what to do or other parents with this problem