My boyfriend has a bacholor party coming up and told me they are going to a strip club. Why do I feel so hurt and scared because of this? He knows I am not happy about it but is like - well, do you not want me to go to my friends bacholor party? I know that's nuts so I would never make him do that but I am really not happy about it. HELP!
2006-07-20 08:58:54 · 57 answers · asked by Iluvme2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
THIS IS NOT HIS BACHELOR PARTY!!! IT'S HIS FRIENDS!
2006-07-20 09:23:29 · update #1
You really need to get over it. It's not a big deal. I love it when my boyfriend goes to the occasional strip club.. he gets all worked up and then coes home and takes it out on me!!!
Let him go. If you want to be a little catty for fun... give him a handful of singles and write "he has a girlfriend" on them. But let him go! Encourage him even. And make him promise to share any excitement get gets with you later in the night!!!!
2006-07-20 09:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by barelyliterate 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You've expressed your feelings to him and that is all you can really do. When I had my bachelor party, someone suggested we go to a strip club. I said I wasn't going, and actually had a future brother-in-law try to physically grab me and get me into the car... but I was too quick for him. I'm glad to this day that I didn't go. Some people think of a strip club as a good time, but I simply don't. Perhaps your boyfriend will stand up for himself and say he's not going... but unfortunately, I have the feeling he wants to see the show. Maybe he'll reconsider and attend the party, but when it's time for the strip club, politely bow out.
2006-07-20 09:05:53 · answer #2 · answered by Mike S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To anyone else who reads this answer, I could care less about any comments that you might have. This answer is strictly for this girl and her situation.
I was a dancer for about four years. Most people's misconception about dancers are that they are hookers, etc. THEY ARE NOT. A large percentage of them are parents of small children trying to make LEGAL extra income. There are some that are putting themselves through college. I know 2 accountants, 1 clinical psycologist and 1 doctor who were dancers.
There are very strict legal rules in a strip club. NOBODY touches anybody---EVER. A dancer can be fired or even go to jail for even touching herself in certain ways, (nipples, etc.). The customer can be removed from the club by very big bouncers for touching a dancer.
If you're concerned about the nudity--well, it's just nudity.
If you're concerned that he'll find someone else in the club, just remember that it is a business and these women are not there to pick up guys.
And as for myself, other than the fact that I was a dancer at one time, I am married with 2 children.
2006-07-20 09:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by thisisraya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. Not letting him go only makes you seem insecure and not willing to trust him. After the bachelor party, ask him to take you to a strip club with him (just so that you know what goes on). I've been to the strip club plenty of times with my boyfriend and honestly, most of the men in there are just looking and it's all in good fun.
I appreciate your insight Thisisraya. Nothing goes on at strip clubs...I'd be more worried if he were watching porno.
2006-07-20 09:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by Meg...Out of Hybernation 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, to all the dumbasses that didnt read the question correctly... its not HIS bachelor party- it's a friends. I went through what you are going through right now. The best thing you can do is just relax. To put your mind at ease a bit, granted he probably will be oogling naked ladies left and right, but he cant touch them. It's illegal and he will get his *** thrown out. Also, If your anything like I can be (a cynical *****) the night of his bachelor party, get drunk and go with the ladies to a male strip club, have a blast and get it off your mind.
p.s. it will also get you great satisfaction for him to know how you felt about him going to a bachelor party. You both will get over and hopefully, start going together :-)
2006-07-20 09:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he knows it's going to hurt you, he shouldn't do it. There's nothing wrong with a little, well, dumb crap before the wedding, but, if you're not even getting married as yet, it's really just another party. If you want to keep him at home make that the very best option he has. Be that sweet sexy hottie hott he needs to think about all the time when he's not with you. You know what I mean. Make him know that he is a man and you need him. Make him know you are the Woman, and he needs you. Then, next time this comes up, he'll go out with you instead! Peace. :)
2006-07-20 09:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by fromdheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he ever given you a reason to think hes cheating?
If not dont worry about it I know so many women freak out about thier husbands and bfs going to strip clubs but if its a reputable club the men arent allowed to touch the women all they can do is look and stick money in their panties. My bf has gone to a couple of bachelor parties at strip clubs and i hired a striper for him for his bday. Trust me honey when they go and see all that, and cant touch it and wont because they are fatithful to their women, they come home to you so horney youll be thanking the girls that did all the work and you reaped the benifits. And he'll love you even more knowing you trust him so much.
2006-07-20 09:03:24 · answer #7 · answered by bree30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man, and a fiance I feel qualified to answer this one. You are not being controlling, neither the bachelor or the bf should be going to this. Strip clubs are for single men or ones with bad relationships. I wouldn't let my friend have a stripper on his last night before marrige. If he tells you it's just a guy thing, he is lying. Its naked women for christ's sake!
Ask him how he would feel if you went to a strip club, but don't threaten, just ask him
2006-07-20 09:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the things you need to remember, is that he is with you. Do you trust him? Would he or has he ever cheated on you? Do you love him? Is he an honest up-standing person? If you can answer these questions positively, then you have nothing to worry about. Would he be comfortable with you going to a male strip club with the girls? This is a trust issue. If you are comfortable in your relationship, you SHOULD be able to let him go with out any hurt feelings or worry.
I personally am a VERY jealous person, and wouldn't let my man step foot in one of those places, unless I was there to keep an eye on him of course! lol Good luck to you though!
2006-07-20 09:03:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate strip clubs. With the passion of a thousand fires. And not because there are hot women dancing for my hubby if he is there. It's the principle behind the whole thing.
But, still...
My husband and I have an agreement. Strip clubs are off limits EXCEPT for bachelor parties. Because, just like he said, are you going to tell him he can't go to his friend's bachelor party?
Go have a girls night!
2006-07-20 09:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him how you feel, and if he doesnt respect that oh well. If a man can downgrade you by going with his friends to the strip club to see other girls, and he doesnt respect the fact that you arent comfortable with it, then hun, he isnt worth it. My husband used to go a couple times before he met me, but he hasnt ever went since he met me because there is no need for him to go. And you do know that if he does go, he will be checking out other girls bodies and thats not a good thing when he has you. So if he doesnt choose what you say, I say dump him!
2006-07-20 09:04:00 · answer #11 · answered by lacruzfamilia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋