bad mother. more love all`ll b ok then
2006-07-20 08:49:28
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answer #1
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answered by MissRussia 4
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with my brother, who is five years old, we have a step to put him on when he misbehaves. they stay on a minute of every year old they are, so my brother stays on for 5 minutes. if he gets off you simply put him back on. They aren't allowed off until they apologise for the reason they went on there, so when the five minutes are up, you ask for an apology, if you don't get one, they stay until you do.
If he's stilll being a pain in the ***, then we take something from him, a favourite toy or something. He'll soon be groveling at your feet for his toys back, and behave to get them. Continue taking away all his favourite toys if he doesn't listen. If he has been a good boy for the rest of the day, no temper tantrums or anything, then give a toy back... a sort of reward for good behaviour.
Never threaten anything which you won't actually do. Spanking in my opinion gets you no where apart from an unsteady realtionship with the parent. Try smoother methods first, and stick by what you say.
If at the end of the week you think that he has been well behaved then take him to a shop and get him a small prize. so good behaviour is rewarded.
that way there is an even balance between rewards and punishments.
I may only be sixteen, but i'm a full time babysitter for my mum... (unfortunatly) so i have learnt how to deal with things, don't feel patronised!
good luck, and i know how annoying demonic 5 year olds can be!
2006-07-20 15:58:28
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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You have to show him who's boss here. That doesn't mean hitting him. You need to get his attention. This is going to be hard for you at first because you've trained him to get away with this type of behavior. You must find out what he really loves such as, toys, tv show, games, special foods he likes. Everytime he behaves this way to you, you remove one of those privelages. This is going to be very difficult at first but after a few days of doind this, it will get easier. If you find that you have taken a lot of stuff away, you may need to keep a list in your pocket. If he begins to do good behavior instead of the nasty attitude your used to, then you can reward him by giving him a privelage back, you might even give him a special treat, like 2nd's at dinner for one day or even a longer bath time, or even 30 more minutes tv.. or one toy from the dollar store.
You have to stick to your guns. You have to MAKE him change, threatening to spank his butt is not going to get you anywhere, especially if it's just a threat. I've noticed that TIMEOUTS don't work on kids that old. You have to get them where they hurt. Materials. If that means that you have to remove ALLLLLLL the toys from his room, put them in trash bags and leave them in the living room for a week - then by GOD do it!
You deserve respect and so does he. Make sure you don't belittle him while your doing this procedure. You need to explain what your doing and why your doing it and WHEN he can get his stuff back and WHAT he has to do to get it back.
2006-07-20 15:55:43
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answer #3
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answered by kayrae_n_jimmy 1
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Try to remember he is testing the limits to see how far he can go. Don't threaten a punishment then not do it. Take away something he treasures for a day or a week. When he asks, gently remind him why he can't have it. I have a token system for my 5 year old. I have a chart on the fridge that has little plastic hooks. There is a hook for morning, noon, after school, night and extra. Each hook has plastic cards that hang from them and each card has a picture and a few words detailing a chore he is responsible for. These are fairly simple given his age, but it is things like clearing his plate from the table, picking up his indoor toys, taking his bath, brushing teeth... it is his responsibility to do the chore and put the chore card into a little holder on the chart. At the end of the day I reveiw the cards and award one token for each chore done. It is his responsibility to place the cards in the pocket. if he forgets, he doesn't get the credit for the chore. We have a list of activities and things he likes to do and we assaigned a token value to them. When he has enough tokens saved up, he gets to choose what he whats to trade them in for. He helped compile this list so it is all things HE treasures and likes to do. Our list contains things like a trip to the park, spending the night with Grandma, getting to choose a candy/snack or getting a new toy. The tokens are also used in his disipline.. if he misbehaves, he looses tokens and has to earn them back to be able ot do the things he wants to. It sounds complicated, but once the chart is together and on the fridge it is pretty simple to do and follow.
2006-07-20 16:06:54
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answer #4
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answered by jigsawinc 4
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don't just threaten the little bugger. If you tell him you're going to spank him if he continues, DO IT! What the heck is holding you back. he's your kid. as long as you don't beat him black and blue, a good spanking sounds like what he needs. He needs to know that he does not control that relationship. he is 5 years old for God's sake! If he acts out when you are out at a store, tell him that you will not tolerate it and that he will not come back with you unless he knows how to behave. Leave him with grandma/grandpa/a trusted friend/anyone who will take him for a short while. Don't buy him any more toys unless he behaves. if he asks, tell him NO. You will not get any toys until you learn that what mommy says is what you need to do. If mommy tells you that she wants you to behave, you better do so, or I will leave you with someone else. and you don;t get to have fun with mommy anymore (or) you don;t get anymore new toys until you show mommy that you can be a good boy. YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN (bottom line!)!!!
Also, take away any fun time for him. T.V. time, toys he loves, etc. don't let him control you. You're the mother!!!
2006-07-20 15:55:32
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answer #5
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answered by one_sera_phim 5
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You need to look into many things you see you are not listening to him. He may be having problem at school or with a child that is harding him. You see bad behavior has a reason and you need to listen. Spanking and trying to take control you lost is not the answer.
2006-07-20 16:15:50
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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I don't know your exact situation, but you have to make sure that you are being CONSISTENT. NEVER make idle threats, children remember these and know that you are not always serious. I don't know what you use to spank him, but if it is your hand, let me suggest that use a plastic or wooden cooking spoon. I suggested this to my friends and it has helped them, because children wont fear your hand. I know plenty of ppl (including my mother!) who used this technique and it'll get to the point that you wont even have to use it, just seeing it will show them that you mean business. I am not about beating your kids senseless or anything, but they have to have a sense of fear(i don't know if that is the best word to use) so they know that they just cannot do what they want and get away with it. "If you spare the rod, you spoil the child" they need to respect their parents and they need direction, sometimes thats the best way to do it, just as long as it is done out of love and not from your emotions getting the best of you. then they need to be told that you love them afterwards. Good Luck and I hope that that helps!! God Bless
2006-07-20 15:59:04
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answer #7
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answered by angeloffaith27 1
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I have four kids, saying no and i'm gonna spank you doesn't mean anything after they realize it's no big deal, just mom talking. the worst for my kid was making her sit there for 4 min with nothing to, and if she moved I physically put her back and i stood there with her showing her i wasn't gonna let her move, The other thing is consistency, if it's not okay today it can't be okay tommorro either, oh yeah and explain things to him simple and to the point, once i explained things to my daughter and didn't just say because I said so made things a little bit easier
2006-07-20 16:15:12
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answer #8
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answered by Nicole 3
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If you're going to tell him you're going to spank him then you need to go through with that. Spanking works and people should use it more. He needs to see that you're in charge and it's actually a good thing that he laughs if off when you say things like that because now you can go through with those things and he'll never expect it and he'll definately see who's in charge.
2006-07-20 15:51:46
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answer #9
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answered by BeeFree 5
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Ensure that everyone is strict with him... he cant have daddy let him get away with xy and z and then you tell him no. The rules need to be consistant as does the punishment. And when you punish (such as you're in time out for 5 minutes) you need to stick to it. If he gets up from the time out spot during the 5 minutes the clock starts over. He's old enough to take responsibilty for his behavior and needs to learn that there is consequences for his actions.
Good Luck!
2006-07-20 15:50:57
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answer #10
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answered by camoprincess32 4
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He laughs because he knows you don't really mean it. You need to make it so that obeying you and respecting you is pleasant and not doing so is unpleasant. You can choose how to best make his life reasonably unpleasant, but you must respond quickly and consistantly every single time he speaks or behaves in an unacceptable way. Don't ever let him win. If you are strong and consistant, he will eventually comply, willingly, because he will know he can't win and get away with laughing at you.
2006-07-20 16:51:12
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answer #11
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answered by happygirl 6
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