Have you noticed how rare it is for people to converse in the elevator?

Question

I'm in and out of elevators during my work week and noticed how people seldom greet each other "hi" or "hello". I also noticed how awkwardly quiet it can get. There are times I feel like telling someone to "have a good day", but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Answer 1

Sometimes I like to be so cheerful it's nausiating. So, I took some blank name tags and when some one got in the elevator I asked there name and wrote it down and gave the name tag.

Sometimes it breaks the ice, some people laugh, and some people are so grumpy you wonder if they have any joy at all.

Answer 2

I don't think anyone is going to disagree with you on this one. I think the only time you're going to see different behaviour is a small residential apartment or condo where people may not know each other well but they certainly recognize each others face.

As for my own excuse, if I'm riding the elevator it usually means that I'm downtown (I work from home) to meet with peers, a client or my boss. I use those few precious moments to review the key points I want to make or to go over the bad news I'm going to be delivering. Going down the elevator is a different story: the pressure is off and I tend to be open to engage in chit chat or conversation.

At my company's head office downtown, they installed television screens (small ones) in every elevator in the two corners on either side of the door. So now when you're facing the front, you're watching the 24 hour news channel and there's always a topic at hand to break the ice with your companions. At first I thought it wouldn't do a thing but I've been pleasantly surprised when a fellow passenger turns to me out of the blue and says "You just missed the weather forecast; they've just issued a storm warning for the city". Two birds with one stone: pertinent information AND a chance to pass some time with a guy who had the nicest smile I've seen in a long while.

As for feeling awkward departing the elevator and wishing everyone a good day here's what I do. If we've exchanged pleasantries, the time of day, non-threatening eye contact (and ladies you know what I'm talking about here....we don't engage people in conversation who set our internal personal safety alarms off, right?), then I make a point as I'm leaving the elevator to turn slightly, smile and wish everyone a good day. That way if nobody responds the door closes and I don't feel like the village idiot. Most times, people light up and call back 'You too'.

Try it, the worst thing that can happen is that no one responds!

Answer 3

Actually, most of the times I've been in an elevator, people are quite friendly. Even more so if I have any of my children with me, especially my 2 yr old son. Mostly I'm greeted with a friendly hello, but sometimes people strike up conversations about various things. I sometimes get stuck with some weirdo babbling about some crazy thing, which is a little freaky anywhere, let alone an elevator!! And people almost always strike up a conversation with me about my kids, or with my kids themselves. But, yes, sometimes there are those awkward silences, which is okay with me. Sometimes people are so lost in their own thoughts, or they're having a bad day, and just don't feel like being friendly. Sometimes the quiet is relaxing.

Answer 4

It IS a very akward feeling being in an elevator with a stranger facing forward looking at the floor numbers light up as we go up or down in this little space together. I think you should go ahead and say "have a nice day" because it might break the ice. If they feel uncomfortable, then that's ok; you've broken through a common social barrier and that's fine. In this disconnected world, we need more people to break these barriers. I live in a 14-floor building and I am almost relieved when I have the elevator to myself coming and going home, but when someone gets in with me who is friendly and smiling, we sometimes have a nice, short and sweet conversation - and that could make anyone's day really!

Answer 5

50 Things to Do In An Elevator
1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm.....tasty!"
21. Meow occasionally.
22. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
23. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
24. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
25. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
26. Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.
27. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
28. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the accordion.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"

Answer 6

Because you are confined to this small space where you are so close to strangers it is awkward. Do you really what to strike up a conversation when you will probably only see this person for MAYBE 2 minutes out of your day? and if you do know this person talking in the elevator with all these other people around you everyone hears what you have to say so save it for later you never know whos listening when you talk bout that co-worker or that neighbor next door. So if you want to acknowldge people on an elevator just Nod.

Answer 7

It's true! What I notice is an awkward head nod as a hello, or a smile and then look away. But, have you noticed how people suddenly become polite on an elevator? Every time i see someone in one, they say thank you when I push their button, or they allow other people to exit or enter before them. I do the same. But there just isn't enough time to strike up a conversation in an elevator. (Unless you are in a high rise maybe.) Good question!

Answer 8

I LOVE your question/comment! This is what I've done in the past: When I'm first in the elevator and it stops to pick up others, I say "good morning/day/evening" in a clear, friendly, inviting voice. People tend to mumble, then I'll make a nice comment on the weather, or something insignificant but nice!!! I will typically get EYE CONTACT when they're leaving the elevator. That's always nice.

Of course, they're probably thinking I'm a FREAK when they leave, but that's beside the point.

Perhaps that's why ELEVATOR music was invented. It makes the ride seem shorter, covers up jitter/hunger sounds going on in stomachs, and of course, opens the door wide open for comments like: "This is lousy music!"

Good point. I think if everyone who's read your question/comment make it a point to be friendly in the elevator - break the ice, so to speak - we can make a difference!

Happy Rising!

Answer 9

Yes! I know EXACTLY what you mean! I too, often find myself in and out of elevators when I'm working, and I must say that there seems to be an uncomfortable silence that descends that seems as if it shouldn't be broken. I don't know why this seems to happen, but sometimes, I feel like shouting " Why cant we talk in here!!?" I know that some of it is paranoia, but the other part is DEFINITELY real! It's like there is some unwritten rule that says " DON'T CONVERSE IN THE ELEVATOR." I really don't get it. Maybe by asking this question that we will start to see an improvement in the world concerning this issue. I hope it does because it would be a GREAT stress reliever on my part!

Answer 10

I love those movies where the swat team or a pack of ninjas are charging into the fray...then they cut to the elevator scene - elevator music soflty playing, while all the barbarians in their battle armor stifle a cough, avoid eye contact, and stand politely watching the numbers blink overhead - and then they explode out of the elevator when it reaches their floor. It's so true.

I think it's because everyone is afraid the unthinkable will happen if they start a conversation. You'll end up with a "clinger" who won't shut up, or who tells you their life story as though you were really interested, or suddenly wants to be your best friend. Think Jim Carrey in "Cable Guy". Or maybe it's someone of the opposite sex who REALLY doesn't do it for you. Start a conversation there and they'll end up thinking you have a date by the time you reach your floor. And of course, Murphy's Law being what it is, the elevator will break down and you'll be stuck with this social dud for the rest of the afternoon.

I mean, who wants that?? No thanks, I'll just stick to avoiding eye contact unless I know them.

Answer 11

Encounters with unknown people in close proximity triggers a fear response. It's part of our chemistry. If you are in an place you cannot leave and with people you do not know, there is a instinct to become ready to fight or flee, neither of which are appropriate in most elevator situations.

Starting a conversation, even just being polite, in situation where you will only be near that person for a VERY short time and more than likely never see again, is one way of trying to alleviate the stress of that encounter - but it can also INCREASE the stress of the other person!

That's why I take the stairs when ever possible.