should women stay at home with their children?

Question

you can voice your sarcasm - but I'm looking for well thought out answers :)

thanks!

Answer 1

Let us put it this way. We need to answer a few questions.

(1) As a parent who should be our priority? Myself or my kids who are so young and cannot look after themselves?

(2) I should have thought about these things before having children NOT as an after thought. I think we should be responsible adults and should be clear in our mind as to who will do what after the kids arrive.

(3) What do the kids want? Their mother at home or away? i guess the kids want both mom and dad at home. If we can afford that then it is best. If we cannot afford it then we should decide who should be at home. Commonsense says that the higher salary earner should go earn the money while the other sits at home. Natural instinct says that Mom should be at home.

(4) Who can give the best care to our kids? Mom and Dad or baby sitter? I am sure not a single mom will agree that she is second best.

Why do moms need to go out and work? It is for the money. If i was a millionaire, i would not work at all. So why did i decide to have children when i was not ready for it? We are stupid, immature and not worthy to be parents and we mess up our lives as well as our children's. The children who are the main stakeholders in this discussion have no say at all !!!!! So we should be extra sensitive to children's needs because they don't have a say. It is time that moms took pride in caring and rearing their children and look for avenues to make money sitting at home.

Answer 2

I believe SOMEONE should be with the kids...mom...dad... whatever. Here's the reason why: I worked in daycares for a couple years and there's a high turnover rate in that business. Kids inherently bond to the adults they are around. Say like the average day care teacher stays at one place 6 months to a year. That means that by the time the child is six they could have 6+ primary providers (we're talking people who take care of their booboos and feed and nurture them). When an adult abruptly leaves their lives, it can be confusing for the child. I honestly don't think the bonding and learning to cope with loss repeatedly the way kids are subjected to is healthy.
All that said, in this day and age to make ends meet both parents have to work. My sister and her husband worked out a lovely arrangement where she works evenings and her husband works during the day. It might not work for everyone, but it's a viable solution. I would never insist that it is the woman's job to stay home with the kids. If the woman is the one with the better job, then by all means, she should keep her job. The important thing is loving the child and making sure they are in a good environment.

Answer 3

I think women should do whatever works for them. I think it benefits the child more to spend as much time with Mom and Dad as possible in the most impressionable years but again I say, different things work for different people. There are so many different situations and circumstances that a child is born into. How is it that a child can grow to be a successful adult who came from a broken, poor home? How is it that a child can grow to be a struggling adult who came from a home with money and had a parent that stayed home and had a decent education? You never know how your child will turn out for sure, you just have to be the very best parent you know how to be.

Answer 4

If you can afford to then do it. I stayed home with mine and am so glad I had the opportunity. We did without fancy vacations and new cars. Kids did without designer clothes but it was our choice. When they became teens and wanted name brand things we agreed to pay part of the cost and they could pay the other. They did get a small allowance so they either saved up the difference or got small jobs to pay for their 'desires'. They thought it was tuff then but today, grown and married and have nice cars and own their homes, they are greatful for the money lessons. There really is a lot to be said about not having everything you want when you want it. They thank us for a job well done (which is a nice thing to hear from your own kids) and have told me how glad they were I was home when they came in from school. You can raise wonderful children with both parents working. We chose this lifestyle, however, and are so glad we did. It took worry off of us too not having them ever home alone. m

Answer 5

Everyone, roll your toes in because I have a feeling I am about to step on many toes.
Yes, I do think a mother should stay home to raise the children. My reasoning is..it was God's plan for women to be mothers and caretakers of the home and men to be fathers and provide the food and lodging and protect.

It was when women started to work outside of the home and families started to "keep up with the Jones'" that children in society became so unruly. Teen pregnancy rose as well as the teen crime rates. Simply because noone was home to watch/supervise the kids. Kids need supervision and guidance...and God made that job for women. Am I saying fathers cannot care for children? No! But fathers are generally more adept for breadwinning and providing.

When the roles are reversed or "improvised" is when trouble starts.

So yes! I do think it is a mothers job to be the one to stay home and raise the children. Families need to start placing children and their upbringing as a priority again. And stop putting value in the wrong things (bigger and better houses, nicer cars, trendy clothes, etc). Children are our future. If you neglect your children in their formative years...just think how they will treat you in your golden years????

Married 20+ years and have 5 children.

Answer 6

oh goodie, one of my favorite subjects. i was a stay at home parent. you will here people say that you arent being a productive person in society being "just" a stay at home mom. i beg to differ, heres my opinion on it all....
if mom and dad both work, there is no one at the house to keep the home clean and to cook meals. the kids are stuck in a daycare all day. the parents come home from work tired, the house is a mess, nothing is cooked, no one wants to cook. the kids have been away from the parents all day, they want attention, both parents are too brain tired to give the proper attention. the liks dont get the attention they need so they get mad and grow up to be dangerous angry teens. watch the teenagers around you. they all look so angry all the time and they seem to have no guidance. i'm not talking about every single child out there, but the vast majority of them. our kids are our future, if we ignore them and not give them proper life instructions they run wild. you can teach them to be good humans with manners or they will learn how to live in prison. not much of a choice there. for those who dont like the fact that you are a stay at home parent instead of a workforce monkey, be blunt.. tell them that God gave you children to raise to the best of your ability and you feel you are making the correct decision for the future of you child.

Answer 7

I always try to stay away from using the word "should" because it is a judgmental term. Make the choice that is best for you and your loved ones. Do you have the option of staying home with your child without having to endure financial hardship? Does your spouse want you to stay at home? Does he want to stay at home? So many issues are involved. Yet, if you truly have the ability to make a choice. Make it. What's best for your particular situation might not be the best option fo someone else. What do YOU want? I'm a DAD and I would love to stay at home. Yet, I have to work.

Answer 8

That's a very personal choice. I stayed home with mine until they started school. I feel the first 5 years are the most important, when we can teach them the value system we want to and also create a strong, lifetime bond with them. I know a lot of people feel they can't afford this, but I truly believe the benefits will outweigh a few years of financial struggling. My kids are grown up now, and all 3 of them are independent, well adjusted, and morally good adults whom I admire and respect. :)

Answer 9

If you mean women versus men; it doesn't matter which parent stays home with the children, but it would make more sense for the parent making the most money to keep working and the other parent to stay home. If you mean parents in general; yes, because it's better than letting some cranky-assed daycare worker raise your kids to their standards rather than your own.

Answer 10

For the first few years, yes, I think it is beneficial. Once the child/ren are old enough to attend pre school, I think it benefits both the child and mother to be apart. The mother earns money and is around adults while the child gets prepared for school and learns to socialize well with others.