He used to hit me and make me feel like everything was my fault. He then ended up in a mental institution for a while and now he's out... should I take him back?
2006-07-20 07:22:53 · 47 answers · asked by TheMadHatter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hell No
2006-07-20 07:24:48 · answer #1 · answered by jasenlee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a question that only you can answer. I believe everyone has the ability to become reformed. So whether he would do it again is not really as big of the reason why you SHOULDN'T as you may think. I think you should look at the bigger picture....look at EVERYTHING that has taken place between the two of you. Think about how he has made you feel about yourself and how you think he feels about himself. Consider the things that have been said and done between you. Think of all those things about him you love so much - the things that would even make you consider this. Then look at the things that he caused that made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Are these things you want to live with again? Do you feel a sense of freedom without him in your life? Take some time to ponder these things then make your decision. Listen to yourself - not him. No offense to him, but of course he's going to say all the right things right now. Good luck to you!
2006-07-20 07:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by Nerdalicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! - at least not for a long while. He obviously has many issues to work on for himself and trying to maintain a healthy, loving relationship could distract him from the work he needs to do.
Also, you are not responsible for or to him. If he is truly a good person (?) offering support and encouragement throughout his treatment may be helpful - possibly to you both.
It would be best to talk to his therapist/ doctors about what would be best for him at this time.
NO ONE should EVER feel afraid, guilty, responsible, pain because of the actions of ANYONE!
He is mentally ill, that is what abuse is, you, however, are not! Do not allow his illness to become yours!
Best of luck. Be strong.
2006-07-20 07:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by SugarByte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO and NO it does not matter what kind of help he gets there is never an excuse for any man or boy to hit a girl or woman FOR ANY REASON. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and love but remember you must give the same thing back to them in order to develop a relationship that will last. YOU ARE NOT A PUNCHING BAG OR A DOORMAT, AND YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR HIS PROBLEMS SO DO NOT RETURN TO HIM IN FACT I WOULD MOVE CHANGE ALL MY PHONE NUMBERS AND SEEK A GROUP OF PROTECTIVE FRIENDS.
2006-07-20 07:28:29 · answer #4 · answered by osu2720@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You will probably cause him to revert to his old ways because you are now associated with the memory of his violence. You must let him find someone else to be with and allow him to enact his new personality with. Maybe after a couple of years you can try dating again. Perhaps by then he will no longer associate you with his former self and you won't trigger the same uncontrollable emotions in him.
2006-07-20 07:32:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how you feel about him. Even mentally unstable people can be loved. If you can feel it in your heart to forgive him for what he did then sure I say go for it but remember you have a lot in your future if you decide to take him back. You have to be the strong stable one for him and it's not going to be easy when you need someone to lean on and he cannot be there for you.
2006-07-20 07:28:34 · answer #6 · answered by deppfreak6963 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no!! Once a woman beater, always a woman beater!! A man should never ever put his hands on one of God's most beautiful, sacred creation, a woman. I am a man and for as long as I live, I will never ever beat a woman down. Real men know how to treat a woman with class, respect. A boy will beat woman and always blame her for the beatings and tell her he will never do it again.
2006-07-20 07:30:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont be a *** dummy if he beat you before he will do it again when he gets upset,thats what wrong with you women you want the guys that beat your *** but the guys that want to love you and take care of you.you pay them no mind .anyway any guy that beats on a women is a fuking punk and cant go toe to toe with a real man like me.ladies wake up if he hits u once then you need to get out of that realtionship before it gets worse.ladies please be safe
2006-07-20 07:29:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe...if he sticks with seeing a shrink or something. Abuse is a learned behavoir and very hard to change. He is likely to go back to it even if he doesn't want to. In the infamous worsds of Monty Python: run away, RUN AWAY!
2006-07-20 07:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by fricka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because i think if you go to a mental instution you go there because you are sick (meaning you have a sickness like people who are mentaly ill just dont go to a mental instution and are better it just doesnt happen) why do you think the people who commit crimes such domestic violence go to prison they dont go to a mental instution because they have a chance of changing
2006-07-20 07:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by Lety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not until he completes his anger management and counseling. Even then I would suggest going to couples therapy so they can determine whether he can control himself now. That is only if you really want to go back, personally I would get myself a new guy.
2006-07-20 07:25:28 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋