Does anyone else have to raise their mom?

Question

I love my mom and appreciate all that she did for me as I was growing up. However, since I was about 16, we've started to change roles. She has had a difficult life and suffers from depression and various health problems. Because of this, she is unable to hold down a job and is on medicaid. That covers her rent but she completely depends on me for all of her other expenses. She seems like she has no ability to control her finances. If I leave it up to her to pay bills, they go unpaid and then I have to pay late fees on top of them. I have to give her reminders of how to budget and what she can and can't afford. She's in her mid 50's now. Most people my age can go to their mom for advice and financial help instead of the other way around. She always appologizes for being as she says, a "burden", on me. I don't care about the money. I just want her to be happy and to not have to worry about her. Has anyone else ever had a similar situation and what can I do to make her more independent?

I forgot to mention that I am 28 now but I have my own family responsiblities since I am married.

Answer 1

I had to "raise" my Mother, as you are doing.......she suffered from depression in her later years, was unable to use any good judgment in paying bills, and I had to absorb her money mistakes, as you are doing......when I complained, she also told me that she felt she was a burden, and I can't pretend otherwise that it was a great sacrifice at the time......Within a few years, my Mother developed cancer; she struggled with it for six years, and passed away....... Things I can suggest, having been through similar, it is going to be hard for your Mother, at her age, and with her condition, may have some degree of difficulty becoming more independent.........I would contact some Home Health agencies, they should be able to point you in the right direction in being able to find some optional, or "respite" caregiving program for you.......I have to be honest with you, there is no quick and easy answer; eventually, I found my way around, and found several programs and agencies that would help......I don't think you will have any regrets for the sacrifice you are making for her......Regaining her independence is possible, but would take time and extraordinary effort...........Also, talk to her Doctor or a Licensed Nurse practitioner, I found the LP N's especially helpful.........I hope this information helps you, if you need, you can contact me through Yahoo answers......................

Answer 2

Dam you're like tremendous son. If she is depressed and is in accordance with you that a lot, i'd definatly see to it that you're making her sign up for some instructions or get herself doing issues even possibly a job. A depressed human being will not in any respect substitute in the journey that they are merely sitting round. She needs to get out and do something which include her self and get some motivation. i comprehend its so puzzling on you yet you've been doing way too a lot. you want to inform her its time she might want to objective to do something for herself. yet when she is quite sick and cant bypass round sturdy then you fairly would prefer to guage her transferring in with you. it is scary yet a minimum of you'll save alot of you money. with any success you are able to make certain out what to do....:-)

Answer 3

Ask her doctor anbout medication that will enable her to overcome the depression. You are too young to have this much responsibility. You need the help of professional people with this. Good Luck

Answer 4

I WORK IN THE HOME HEALTH INDUSTRY AND YOU ARE IN A DIFFICULT SITUATION! ARE THERE ANY AGENCY'S IN YOUR AREA THAT MAY BE ABLE TO HELP MOM! IT'S WORTH CHECKING INTO, THEY MAY BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU SOME RESPIT!HELP MOM WITH COMPANIONSHIP ETV! CALL MEDICAID MAYBE THEY HAVE SUGGESTIONS! IN ANY CASE GOOD LUCK TO YOU, IF YOU NEED TO TALK IME HERE!

SUE