Can you ever make a girlfriend if you think you're worthless and those thoughts keep coming?

Question

Because of my experiences being racially discriminated, and socially discriminated( because i'm shy and quiet and i'm not white), and being bullied in school, etc.. i have come to think i'm a bunch of worthless cr*p. Sometimes i try to get that out of my mind but if i think of my childhood or any of these experiences i had., it comes back to mind.

But i still feel like someday i wuld like to have a gf. I'm 26 and have no gf or friends. Is it possible to have a good relationship if i have these thoughts in my head often? i would say no.. so yes i have to change.. but i try and i cannot deny my past , and when i think about it...it makes me think that way again.

Answer 1

You very likely are a bunch of worthless cr*p, but that is just fo r the moment. The past is behind you. Go out and accomplish something with your life, quit blaming the world for your problems. You have no self esteem, but you likely don't deserve to have much either. What have you done to be proud of, besides survive for 26 years? The way to stop feeling worthless is to stop being worthless. There are few things more attractive than success and accomplishment. Your first step should be to quit wasting time on the internet all day.

Answer 2

Hello God's Precious Person!
Let me guess are you Purple? Orange? I am Caucasian but I've never been WHITE! I think it would be uncomfortable to be really white. I mean you couldn't enjoy the great outdoors at all!
All jokes aside, you sound like a caring person, so please care for you!
Do you ever read Family Circle cartoons in the newspaper? Dolly once said "Today is a Present" Take your Present of life and run with it. We cannot do anything about our past or those who have said or done things that we chose to feel bad about. Remember you are the only person who is in control of you! If you want respect from others, you must respect yourself. I am sure that there a lot of good things about you. So Pick Yourself up by your Bootstraps(figure of speech), hold your head up and you go!!!!! You are still young and have your whole future ahead of you! I know you can and we have never even met. You have to think so! If you think you could use some counseling then go for it! If you think you would like to go back to school and further your education. If...If...If... A big two letter word! The possibilities are out there and the decisions are yours.
Good Luck You Worthy Person!!!!

Answer 3

There's no need to deny your past, but you sure as heck better get busy trying to overcome it. Your past is part of what makes you who you are today, but it doesn't define you...only you can do that...do you feel you are basically a good person? do you try to be honest and have integrity? why do you feel worthless? what do you see about you that makes you worth less than other people you know?

If you don't like you, why should anyone else? You know you best, so if you think you are a crummy person then other people often won't take the time to find out otherwise...

Stop worrying about what other people think re: the racial and social discrimination. The world is full of small minded people...you cannot change your race, so be proud of it and strive to be someone who is a wonderful positive example of a person of your race...

shy and quiet isn't a bad thing, but it can make life tough for us (I am shy myself)...however I've never known shy people to suffer discrimination, we simply allow ourselves to miss out on much because we choose not to fight our fears and anxieties and do things that would benefit us or be enjoyable or productive...that just takes a firm mindset to overcome and baby steps...

Be the best you that you can be...be proud of who and what you are..let your past strengthen you, not hold you down...the choice is yours!

Good luck!

Answer 4

You can not deny your past but you can make it work for you instead of against you.

Society is such that it is not easy to change so what you need to do is accept that some ppl are just who they are.

You first need to learn to love yourself. NO ONE IS WORTHLESS!!! I always say if you don't love yourself, no one else will. So accept that you are who and what you are and look for the good in you. You just seem to be shy because you are afraid of being rejected.

If you work or still attend school or in your neighbourhood, there is sure to be at least one other person who can and will befriend you. If you don't think so, join a new club, etc. and start with a positive attitude and I assure you that once you start with one person you will learn to be friends.

Still remember that this world is full of not so nice ppl so don't let the 'bad' ones throw you off.

Answer 5

Hi...you may need to have some counseling. You sound like you havebeen very hurt and it has left a deep emotional scar. It's hard to change our way of thinking when a thought hasbeen engrained in our minds for so long. I can tell you these thoughts you have about yourself will 100 percent affect any relationship you have. If you don't think you are worth anything, how can you have a normal relationship with someone else? I too used to feel as you do. When I was growing up I felt very uncomfortable with my looks and one day when i was about 14 i was outside of the school and there were a group of guys standing around and I heard one of them make a very cruel remark in regards to my looks. That one remark crushed me and it totally impacted on the way i perceived myself from that day on. It wasn't until I met my now fiance that I realized just how much I was allowing my low self-esteem to control my life and cause me to miss out on the beautiful person that I now know I am and always was. I put my fiance through alot of changes because i didn't like myself. I had to do alot of praying and soul searching. I finally realized I had allowed myself to become trapped by the words of someone else. I no longer think of myself in a negative way . I am a warm, loving, compassionate and desirable woman. My worth is not measured anymore by another persons standards , but by the only standards that matter.....mine! You sound like a really nice person who just needs to come into the realization of who you are. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself in a positive frame of mind and instead of seeing yourself in a negative way.......look inside your heart and bring out the beautiful things you posses. I wish people would be more careful of the words they speak to others. It's so easy to break someone's spirit . Is it really that hard to be kind? I will keep you in my prayers and I hope this has helped you some.

Answer 6

You are right about your thinking affecting you. The good thing is that you can change your thinking. You have control of your mind. What happened in your childhood is not your fault- you were a child. The bad things people did and said to you were NOT true. It is not you, they were wrong. If you tell someone that they are ugly enough times even a beautiful person will eventually come to believe it. You can train yourself to say positive things to yourself. Keep practicing and soon you will embrace them as your own. Remember your mind is yours. You have dominion over your mind. I recommend the resources listed below.

Answer 7

You need to work on overcoming your feelings of worthlessness before you get into a romantic relationship. Find some information on changing those negative inner voices, and work on that as you first seek out healthy friendships. Yes, you will be able to have a girlfriend some day, but "first things first".

Answer 8

You can't expect a good relationship to last if you don't love and respect yourself first nor expect anyone else to love you if you feel worthless about yourself. You can't get better by trying to find what lacks in you from another person either.

I really would suggest you get some counseling. You don't and shouldn't feel inferior because of your of a certain racial group. Be proud of who you are! Good luck!

Answer 9

You are not a worthless peice of crap and you have to tell your self that everyday. I understand how you feel I had a rough childhood and things happend that I 'll never forget ,but you can not be stuck in the past .In order to have a healthy relationship you need to love yourself B4 you can love someone else. move on with yoour life and keep your head up!GOOD LUCK,YOU CAN DO IT!

Answer 10

Dude, it doesn't mattter what race you are; it matters what is inside of your heart and how you feel about yourself, and it seems that you're making excuses for feeling crappy about "you". You have to learn to love and accept yourself before you have any love to give to a woman. Here's what i suggest you do: Take some martial arts classes to really make you feel like a man. Learn this to protect yourself and raise your self-esteem. You'll also make new friends....even females interested in the same things you like. Go and give it a try. God Luck, you seem like a nice guy.