Yesterday I found out my aunt has stage 4 liver cancer that has spread. theyve given her 6 mos. My cousin has told me to call her today, and I dont know how. I dont know what to say. I know to say nice positive things but how do I not say anything about death? I know she will. She's my favorite aunt and we're very close. I just don't know how to have this conversation with her. I will try to not cry, but what if she does? I'm still trying to understand whats happening here. I dont know how to comfort myself. How do I comfort her? I live in NY & shes in CA, so its not like I can just go visit. Phone calls are all we have left & I just dont know how to make the first call. What if my uncle gets on the phone? I guess he's falling apart and has said he's going to kill himself when she goes. How do I comfort him??? Please help!!
Jenna
2006-07-20 06:19:44 · 6 answers · asked by newyorkjenna 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
You need to call or you will always regret not telling her you love her one more time. Let her cry if she cries and there is nothing wrong with crying with her. She knows she's dying. There isnt really anything you can do to comfort her other than talk. Tell her you are so sorry about her illness and you wish you could be with her. Tell her she is your favorite aunt. Tell her while she can hear you. If your uncle answers tell him you just wanted to talk, that you were thinking about him and you are sorry he is going through a rough time. Then mail a card every 4 or 5 days with a funny joke enclosed and definitely a picture of yourself. You can find funny short stories in Readers Digest or any family magazine. Or print out some funny jokes or a sweet poem that touched your heart. If they bring up the subject of dying let them talk about it. They have probably had lots of people tell them not to talk about it but sometimes they need to. Death is a very real part of life. You will do fine. Just open your heart in love. m
2006-07-20 07:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by Mache 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that dealing with the pain will be hard on everyone, especially your aunt, but just try and be strong. Being strong doesn't mean that you need to bottle up your feelings, go ahead and cry it will help you cope with your sadness. The best way to prepare yourself for that phone call is to expect there to be crying and expect yourself to cry. The best way to comfort her is to let her know that you love her and how much she means to you. If you can try to get out to California before she feels worse, and try to spend as much time together as possible. As for your uncle let him know that you are a phone call away and check in on him with a phone call from time to time. If your cousin lives near your aunt and uncle have him/her help you with your uncle. Many times after a spouse dies the other will lose their thrive to live and will give up hope. Maybe if you invite him to stay with you in New York for a little while it will give him a change that he will need. I hope that these ideas help you, good luck, and I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. Keep strong you can get through this.
2006-07-20 06:56:23 · answer #2 · answered by chandraking2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I found out when my grandma got cancerthe first conversation I had with her all I said is I love you and it will be ok im here for you. and then we just talked like we normally would. If your aunt takes the treatment and doesnt give up she can live longer the doctors cant say when she is gonna die or not they arnt god. But just talk to her like you normally would. And your uncle just be supportive of him and have one of your family members watch over him for a while after your aunt passes away. The only thing that can be done for him is to support him and her be there for them the best you can.
2006-07-20 08:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by 0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell your aunt that you love her and you are there for her when
she needs you. You tell your uncle that you are there if he needs
you. As for not letting them see you cry,let them. This is a sad time for your family and you should let your self deal with it in the
healthiest way that you can. I am sorry for your family. God Bless
and take care of yourself.
2006-07-20 07:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone dies, you will die after 40 years. After initial denial phase, everyone will accept it. Only way is giving them company and making the best out of the remaining lifetime. You should cheer them up and go for a vacation with them; a long vacation.
2006-07-20 06:31:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about "I LOVE YOU"
2006-07-20 06:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by mikeae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋