my nephew is a spoiled brat how do we deal with him in a non violent way?? How do we calm him and get him to listen to reason when he is having a screaming fit? he thinks that he is in charge of every thing and when we assert our selfs it turns into a fight of epic proportions. HELP US!!
2006-07-20 05:54:10 · 11 answers · asked by kwingfan13 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
1. When you tell him to do something, if he doesn't do it, he gets time out in a room with no tv or toys. Don't make the time out too long because you will probably need to do it again (maybe 5 min.) and DO NOT ARGUE WITH HIM.
2. When he is having one of his fits, just leave the room and pay no attention to him whatsoever. DO NOT ARGUE WITH HIM.
3. Save spankings for dangerous behavior like touching light plugs or running out into the street.
4. Always reward good behavior with a smile and a hug.
When he learns that he will have benefits from good behavior and consequences for bad, he will choose good.
2006-07-20 06:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read up on the Enneagram (it's a very accurate personality predictor), it's easy to find on the internet and there are some books written on it too maybe even at ur local library.
It sounds like he just wants to get his own way in situations and all I can say is.....DON'T give it to him, unless he admits that YOU are the one in charge first (in some way, it dosent have to be something you force out of him). Also try showing him that you (and his parents in particular) do care about him, in other little ways that he dosent expect and has'nt fought for beforehand. This is all to drive home the point that if he fights, he loses, if he trusts your authority and that you love him as he is (thats is what he needs to do), he wins.
The best of luck!
Whatever you do dont allow him to know you feel hes a "bad kid" or that label will be very hard to shift once he realizes that's how you see him and won't make him desperate to prove you wrong or happy either. It will probably make him distrust your authority even more and if thats what he's got a problem with, it wont help.
2006-07-20 06:50:08 · answer #2 · answered by Zinc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What situation are you in? You would handle things differently in a restaurant than you would at home. Why do you have to "handle" him at all? Where are his parents?
The proper thing to do is to ask his parents how they want to handle it. Also don't necessarily rule out violence. A good spanking can really settle a kid down. Of course I am not saying beat the kid, but too many people forget that the threat of violence is what allows our society to work.
If I rob you, the police will try to catch me and if I resist they can stop me, forcibly restrain me and if necessary shoot me. There are strict guidelines, but that is violence in a controlled pattern.
Talk to the parents and find out how they want to handle it! If they can not give you a method to deal with this, turn him over to them. In any-case get him out of a public situation in which he may be "preforming" for a crowd. Be firm and make sure he knows that you are the Alpha Wolf. When he does not get rewarded for his outburst, he will finally figure it out. It is tough but it always works after a while.
2006-07-20 05:58:00 · answer #3 · answered by DMR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take all away from him..toys, bedding, even bed, game systems...leave him with a bare room. Make him ask for food or drink. Establish that there are rules and screaming is rewarded with nothing. Be prepared for a few days of screaming fits. Never raise your voice when explaining that there is now a new system in place. If he should throw a fit..place him in his room and calmly explain that bad behavior is unacceptable and when he gains control of himself you will be happy to be around him.
Best of luck to you!
p.s.
You may also want to have him checked for allergies. Sometimes allergies can present in aggressiveness/throwing fits or whining.
2006-07-21 02:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by AccountableLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you're talking about. My little cousin is the same way. First you MUST quit spoiling him otherwise he'll meet the wrong crowd and they'll kill him. children can also sense weakness so you must establish a set of ground rules and if he breaks one you spank him or ground him or something like that. DO NOT ABUSE HIM!! you can't let him think that he is in charge of everything. If he is an only child than that is going to be harder to do.
2006-07-20 06:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by Tony B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his picture and tell him if he should ever have kids, you are going to show his kids these pictures especially if his kids act the same way and he asks why do his kids act like this for. Then he will know where his kids get it from.
2006-07-20 06:15:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they don't look terrified of authority in any respect because their lazy mom and father do not punish them for being undesirable >> they're affected by a lacking of love - not worry or punishment and for this reason they're so "undesirable". that is the purely way they recognize to get interest. one thanks to address them is as an instance and style RESPECTFUL interest (and LOVE) which could motivate them to comprehend you lower back. even as they experience the love and delight of RESPECTFUL interest, they could initiate giving that lower back to you and others as well. they are going to settle for PUNITIVE interest (if it really is all you've) particularly than NO interest even if it received't do them as a lot sturdy as LOVING/RESPECTFUL interest.
2016-12-10 12:27:45 · answer #7 · answered by moncalieri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow him around you and tell him why.
Follow through, and go awile without seeing him.
He'll get the point if you explain yourself firmly.
2006-07-20 10:16:54 · answer #8 · answered by Martin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention his age so it's hard to say.
Don't "reward" bad behavior.
Accept he's got a RIGHT to have emotions, it's BEHAVIOR that needs fixing.
2006-07-20 05:58:27 · answer #9 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children can sense weakness. establish dominance. act nonchalantly to his desparate acts for attention and put him in time out.
2006-07-20 05:57:59 · answer #10 · answered by got_deam_munalla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋