my boyfriend is gone all day until 10:30pm sometimes i wonder if hes really doing what he says he doing. So when he was in the shower i went through his black berry and found a text message from a girl that is married that he use to mess around with before me, and she was telling him that she loved him and wanted to be with him but didn't want to leave her husband, and he said if she left him he would be with her. I couldn't read it all cuz i didn't want to get caught. I asked him if anyone of his x's came back if he would leave me for her. he of course told me no. We have been trying to have a baby and I don't know what to do i know he will be mad if he knew i went through his phone what should I do??
2006-07-20 05:03:35 · 20 answers · asked by lovergirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am a single mom already of a 4 year old and i don't want to have to raise another child on my own i don't understand why men are jerks and can't be real with someone
2006-07-20 05:18:19 · update #1
IT WAS HIS IDEA TO HAVE A BABY NOT MINE!!! SO NO IAM NOT TRYING TO TIE HIM DOWN
2006-07-20 05:20:53 · update #2
Not to be judgemental, but this is a problem waiting to happen, one that's been seen, heard, and experienced a million times a day. And the killer part is, this problem could be avoided.
Suppose the guy does end up like this girl, but you are so blindly in love, you try to lock him in by having a child. This will result in the exact opposite of what you were trying to accomplish.
He may stay around because he might feel the necessity of being a responsible parent, but he will loath you more than you ever have or would have expected.
Furthermore, why would you want to bring a child into an environment like this? One that lacks trust, honesty, and love?
You need to sit down with him and just talk about it, ask him to tell the truth and you'd be ok with it. You may NOT be ok with it, but the truth is the truth and you can't work around it.
He maybe a jerk and lie to you; who knows. But remember this; once you have a child and you choose, or not choose, to be a single parent, you have bought life into this world that's going to struggle and you're going to struggle too.
I have friends that tried what you did; now their dreams of college are over and most of their time spent working to support the baby. Some have found balance and are now going back to school. They all say they never regretted the decision; I sincerely do not believe them. I bet a million dollars that if each of them could go back and do it again, they would have waited to have a child.
Don't let your heart block what your mind is saying.
Don't give up what you have not even had a chance to explore yet.
2006-07-20 05:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by MJ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well i don like to answer this question but..... i believe that if ur bf is kinda cheating on u and denies it when u found out about it, u should somehow or another leave him. That's unless u are extremely sure that he will love u sincerely and is only joking around with wat he said to the other party.
Don think that its a good choice to have a baby now. Don't leave the forest becos of a tree. its a whole world out there if u can't trust him, there's always a better choice up ahead.
Don feel bad going through his phone u just love him too much that's y u did that. Take care.
2006-07-20 05:17:59 · answer #2 · answered by Headache 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, seems that you opened up a can of worms here but I get the feeling a lot of people have things like this that they hide from their mates. I am steadily losing faith in our society as I read the answers posted here on Yahoo. The sad thing here is, you may have done the right thing in doing what you did. Yes you should have trusted your boyfriend but it would also seem that your trust may have been misplaced. I think if I found anything (txt messages, emails, a journal) that had content expressing desires to be with someone else I'd have to act upon it. I'd tell them what I found and ask them why they couldn't have been straight forward with me instead of maintaining the charade. That's just what I would do, you have to make your own decision here.
2006-07-20 05:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by Deleted 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, obviously if you can't trust him, you shouldn't really be with him, let alone try to have a baby with him. I think the reason you are trying for a baby is that deep down, you are afraid he will leave you unless he is tied to you through one. The best thing to do is come clean. Talk to him about how you read that text. Tell him you were wrong for it, but you had some doubts and they were confirmed. He is obviuosly a player, and you deserve much better. I know you must love him alot, but if he is hiding things from you and willing to go back to his ex, it's time for you to move on! Most importantly--don't listen to him if he tells you he loves and hasn't done anything behind your back! It'll only hurt you more. Best of luck girl!
2006-07-20 05:10:10 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey I hate that for you. There is nothing worse than going through your boyfriends phone and finding something like that. Depending on when the msg was sent..... I'm guessing recently the best thing you could do is just be honest. Maybe tell him you were looking for someones phone number and came across it. If you dont say anything it will just get worse and so will your trust in him. And you'll start trying to go through his phone ALL the time......and thats a bad habit to start. You just have to be honest and find out what is really going on. Maybe it was just a joke between them( although def not a funny one) Best of luck
2006-07-20 05:12:49 · answer #5 · answered by abarnes2222 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you weren't wrong you just found out something maybe before anything happend.Stop trying to have a baby with this guy .You know what you need to do, confront him about it and tell him you deserve love and respect and not to be dropped(maybe with a baby) when some ex walks back into his life.
2006-07-20 05:08:41 · answer #6 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A baby will not help things. The fact that you had to find out this way is pretty bad . Go with your gut instict. It did't fail you when you found out this information. If he is happy with you he shouldn't be talking to anyone else. Has he done anything else that would cause you not to trust him? Tell him that he would not appreciate you staying out all day. You seriously need to re-evaluate you relationship.
2006-07-20 05:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by sleeplessdreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a trust issue - and for good reasons. I suggest you stop with the baby-making stategy and ditch him. He is not being honest with you. You could also confront him about the text message. Honesty is the best policy
2006-07-20 05:08:36 · answer #8 · answered by threeboysmamma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no reason being with him. First of all if you you don't trust him enough and you're going through his phone then you shouldn't be with him. Second- he has his ex texting him saying she still loves him and him saying he would be with her if she got a divorce means that he's gonna mess around on you with her. And you're trying to have a baby? Wow!!!!! OPEN YOUR EYES
2006-07-20 05:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by Mr Hernandez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you trying to have a baby with a man that you don't trust? AND he lied to your face AND you want to take a big chance of him leaving you alone to become a single mother?
2006-07-20 05:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by JanLeo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋