Help! How can I tell my bf I'm into bondage.?

Question

real answers only plz.

we've been dating about 3 months and would for him to do this with me.

I've hinted around, rented a move (not a porno) with some bondage in it to see his reaction but he just doesnt seem interested in it.

I'm afraid I might scare him off, plz help!

Answer 1

The straight-forward answer is that you bring it up with him when you are ready to do so. Generally, this will be whenever your relationship is serious enough to be open to a larger level of aspects of serious discussion. In the early stages of a relationship, you are treading the waters of trust, but as time progresses and trust is built up between the two of you, then when a sufficient level has been achieved, then you bring it up directly and honestly.

When I mean trust, I am generally referring to when you believe that he can be told about this without fear of walking out of the relationship. Obviously this is an important part of your sexuality, and if he is looking at this aspect harder than the rest of your being, then it is his issue that he has to deal with. It is also trust from your end as well, as in being able to be direct without fear of telling him.

It is a delicate balancing act. On one hand, you need to wait long enough to the point that he would have a mature and controlled reaction to this news. By this, he should be able to accept that this is a part of your sexuality, but he should be able to refuse to indulge in it without running away if that is his perogative. On the other, you do not want to wait so long that it could be perceived as a betrayal of some kind.

Something that I've learned is that the indirect approach is rarely successful. It might be a way to gauge interest, but it is not a substitute for open and direct discussion.

The most important advice that I can offer is to consider the consequences of telling him. If he refuses to participate, then the burden is back on you regarding just how important this aspect of your sexuality is for you and if you wish to continue the relationship from your end. Of course, your ideal consequence is that he pulls out several pairs of handcuffs and proceeds to bind you up. ;-) Just be ready for both extremes, as well as the moderate consequence of needing to have further discussion.

Answer 2

As a lifestyle participant.. the best way.. is a direct way. first tip. Men don't do hints or subtle. In anything. We just don't get it.

Communications is the best. I like your attempt with the video. Rather than showing the video and than waiting for a reaction. You might watch it again.. and just say, " hey could we try that?"

When most people think about bondage or BDSM, they think of the extreme side of the activity. There are tons of couples into light bondage, that tie each other up with silk scarves and put blindfolds on.

Just ask.. must of us guys are kinky anyway. If your B/F isn't into it and you are really into it.. why is he your B/F ?

There are also many Internet sites that will guide you in this. My favorite is www.castlerealm

Enjoy.. play safe and make sure its consensual

Answer 3

The most important thing is to go slow and ease him into the idea of tying you up.

I have had similar problems in the past because I like (love!) (and write about) being spanked. So the best way that I have found when telling men that I like to be spanked is to talk about fantasies with him. Communication is key. Ask him what his sexual fantasies are, be open-minded, and be prepared to give him what he wants/desires. Maybe you'll do his fantasy, if he does yours, type of thing.

Most men, but not all, are at least open enough to talk about what their lover will like, if not actually participate with them. The first few times you are tied up, please use silk scarves, they will hold you tight, and will not cut or do damage to your skin. By taking it slow, the first time, you might want to just try a blindfold and just your wrists tied and bound. Then ease into other bondage pleasures as the two of you become comfortable with it and more adventurous. Blindfolds are always great , no matter what kind of bondage or fetish play you prefer. I wish you the best of luck with everything. Have fun and Enjoy! But please stay safe. Good luck.

Answer 4

start out slow...maybe try handcuffs only to start out with...and when you do, make sure you "show" him how much you enjoy it. Most guys are willing to try just about anything...you could maybe not tell him that you are already into bondage, but have thought it would be exciting to try with him...also...if you guys don't already use any kind of sex toys, you might want to start off with something that really has nothing to do with bondage and work your way into the bondage.

Answer 5

Take some time - attempt some thing basic firstly and see in case you want it. yet a minimum of attempt it - if he's into it you'd be top to be stricken about him searching elsewhere. you could also ask for some thing you pick in go back for indulging him.

Answer 6

This guy is the luckiest guy on the planet!!!!
Man, is he lucky!
Look, start slow by hinting to him verbally next time you are in "the moment". Then he will have some clue as to what you like. If he is smart he will take action the next time you'all do it.
If not then act shy like you are embarressed and tell him at an intimate moment and he will comfort you and try and make it happen.
Did I mention how luck this dude is???

Answer 7

Ok what you do is this, wait until he's out of the house/apartment or whatever or when you know he's coming over. Have yourself tied up on the bed stark naked spread eagle with candles lit in the room. When he walks in and sees you in this position he'll either run screaming like a little girl or he'll get so freaking turned on that he'll have to have you right them and there.
Then explain to him this is what you like. Let me know how it works

Answer 8

Scarves... they're non threatening, and can be used more safely than some other things. I agree with the other answer, take it slow and incorporate only a little at a time. Good luck, and have fun.

Answer 9

Why would you scare him off? Does he have some strict conservative/religious background that would make you think he'd react badly? You know him better than we do. If not, most guys think fantasies and things are very sexy. Talk about his and yours.

Answer 10

Whip him with a riding crop and see if asks for more