I'm talking about the FIRST date here people.
Guys: Are you under pressure and feel that you NEED to pay? Are you expecting the woman to at least OFFER to pay? Or pay her half?
Women: Do you ever offer to pay? Or are you old fashioned and believe its the man's duty to pay?
Any first date no-no's that will automatically cause you to not want a second date? As far as etiquette?
2006-07-20 04:41:25 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No, I don't feel under pressure to pay, but you should be aware that you are under constant atmospheric pressure...you just don't often notice it.
Anyways, back to the question...I always insist upon paying. Some people have come up with new ideas about how the asker pays, you pay your own, etc., but I am very traditional, and I insist upon it. It's been that way for so long; why change? Also, it's very polite to pay, and there's a better chance for a second date then. However, what works even better for getting a second date is if you take your date to an upscale restaurant such as McDonald's.
As for the etiquette issue, let me tell you what I've learned from experience that scared my dates away...learning from my mistakes, do not: drool; steal the butter, sugar packs, salt and pepper shakers, etc.; make wolf howls at other women (or men in your case) no matter how hot they are; order something that you've never tried before for your date because it may be bad and you'd never know (a McFlurry is usually a safe choice, very good); and be sure to leave your imaginary friend at home (your date may get jealous).
2006-07-20 05:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by aanstalokaniskiodov_nikolai 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I like to pay for dinner if it is a first date. If the woman offers to pay for her half, or even the whole thing, that is very charming and I will politely ask her if I may please treat us. It is a very kind offer from the woman, but I would like to pay.
Best turn off on a first date, be rude to the people serving us. If a girl is mean to any of them my mind is already wondering if I Tivo'd the game before the check has come. How somebody treats people who are serving them is the best way to judge their real character, in my book.
b
2006-07-20 11:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by Bacchus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Luckily I'm married so I don't have to go through all of the BS that goes with dating but if I were single and going on a first date I would offer to split the tab for 2 reasons. #1 it's the polite thing to do and #2 if it's a bad date then neither person would feel obligated to return the favor.
2006-07-20 16:26:32 · answer #3 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The idea of a date is "I want to spend time with only you" Whoever initiates the "date" should pay for ALL expenses.
If it's a case of ... I'll meet you for lunch at.... then it is alright to "go dutch".
I wouldn't mind if a woman offers to pay but I insist on paying. It gives me the opportunity to say "you can pay for lunch the next time", which sends the message that I had a great time and I would like to see you again. I, of course give her my phone number and tell her to PLEASE call if she would like to go to lunch soon. When we have lunch and she does pay, I make the joke like " you know that just because you've paid, that doesn't entitle you to anything more than a thank you and perhaps a kiss. When we part for the day I lean in and say thank you and produce a Hershey kiss from my pocket and ask for the 3rd date.from there it's GAME ON!
2006-07-20 11:58:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally the guy pays, but in this day and age, I usually offer. Also, it depends on who did the asking. My bf and I sometimes have little discussions over who is going to get the bill (I usually try to snag it), and it usually comes down to who did the asking.
Every first date I've ever been on the guy has paid or we split it, but it's also been very casual, and not too expensive.
No-no's: It makes a really bad impression if he leaves a really small tip, if he has bad table manners, if he's rude to me or the wait staff, or if he's hitting on other girls (yes, I've had all of these happen.)
2006-07-20 11:51:46 · answer #5 · answered by locolady98 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually on a first date the bill is for a cup of coffee or a drink anyway. If the guy likes me, he always insists on paying. The few that asked me to pay, I knew they didn't like me and they never called again. It's just a feeling, but it's always right.
2006-07-20 11:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Ven 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The woman should offer to pay at least her own way, if not his, too. The man may or may not accept the offer. The woman should not be offended if he accepts - especially if she asked him. It's always fair to expect to go dutch.
2006-07-20 11:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by Akapoetry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
usually guy should pay but if girl insists then maybe guy can offer that she can pay for the movie or for some other element. sometimes trying to split up a bill after dinner can be tacky or uncomfy. in the big scheme, paying for a dinner is a relatively small expense to quible over.
2006-07-20 11:48:31 · answer #8 · answered by boardbiker 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is basic courtesy, doors, walking you to the door at the end of the date, etc.
But a GREAT piece of advice for both men and women. Pay as much attention to how your date treats the waiters or waitresses (or other service personnel) as you do to how they treat you. someone who is rude, arrogant or pushy, or treats them like they are invisible, with anybody is a loser. Someone who doesn't think a "thank you" is important to anyone (valet parking, mcdonalds window, etc) isn't thoughtful enough about life yet.
2006-07-20 11:46:53 · answer #9 · answered by Love2Sew 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always pay half. Its nice to do and then the guy doesnt get the wrong impression
2006-07-20 11:45:08 · answer #10 · answered by Mollerina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋