Ok Ive been with my man for 4 years and we have a good relationship, there is one problem & maybe because Im a woman I dont quite understand this so maybe you men can help me to. Im noticing my man has a collection of playboy in the closet,I alson noticed when I went on my PC there was porn sites he has looked on and when I went to watch Tv the other day he had a bunch of movies recored that have to do with naked women, If we are out in public and a good looking girl walks by the eyes wonder, Now Ive been told Im a good looking girl and people tell my ol man how did you get so lucky to get her?? If Im as good looking as people say then why does he feel the need to "window shop" as he puts it?? Ive talked to him about this and his comment is "let me be a man" well how much of a man should I let him be before he possibly cheats on me?? Is this normal behaivor for a 31yr man? And if so why would you want to be in a commited relationship if you cant keep you eyes in your head? Im courious
2006-07-20 04:15:06 · 26 answers · asked by italianprincess_fl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Men REQUIRE updated visual stimulation. If you looked into the issue further you would find that sexually, women are emotional but men are very visually graphic. Whether, you like it or not, it is what it is. In public, I think your man should show you more respect and I agree pornography may be a bad thing depending on your man's character. Personally, I think it is healthy to foster and encourage your mates imagination and fantasies.
Understanding clearly that your partner can sincerely love you forever but lust after others will actually improve your relationship as it is more honest.
When I have sex with the same girl more than 3 times, in my mind she becomes the hottest thing I saw that day or a really HOT experience I had in the past. That is what gets me off and I am a typical guy. I need variety. The more uptight and insecure a woman is the more likely she will get cheated on, especially since there are lots of hot willing women out there nowadays.
Good Luck and if you decide to have a #-some write me.
2006-07-20 04:29:04 · answer #1 · answered by BluntForceTrauma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Through reading and through viewing certain specials (e.g. Discovery & Learning Channel), I've learned that the male's primitive development necessitated an extensive act of "spreading his seed," specifically among a varied female society. This, apparently, was to ensure preserving and expanding the human population (more biology than psychology). This trait must still remain in the human male genetic code. This, however, is an explanation, not an excuse.
Whether you can stop or lessen this behaviour would probably depend upon the persons involved and the strength of their relationship. How it impacts the way a man feels about a woman may never be truly determined, as the man may not fully understand the dynamics, anyway. But how the woman feels is certainly significant and completely understandable.
Not all men behave this way or to the same degree. If you can not resolve the issue to your satisfaction and if it continues to trouble you deeply, it may necessitate moving on to a new and healthier relationship. Only you can make that decision.
2006-07-20 12:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by alchemist0750 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After I got married I was told that if you look once your not a man, but if you look more than once then your not a husband. Looking a a good looking girl going down the road is natural for a man to do, it doesn't make you any less attractive, most of the time a nice car will produce the same response. As for the porno, well, unfortunately that is becoming all too common. If you feel uncomfortable with it, that is probably good. A lot of times porn leads to unfaithfulness and other problems. Find a guy who isn't into that stuff and who will enjoy the time with you without imagining you were some other woman. Good luck!
2006-07-20 11:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by mcguiver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well where to start it is normal for a man to "window shop now being a little discreet is a good thing. with that at the same time a trick my wife uses to take the fun out of "window shopping" is she will notice them before i do. it makes it like a game and she know i only have eyes for her.
next thing the porn collection.( i had to get rid of mine by my choice) because my 3 yr old daughter found a book and asked some questions i was not ready to answer yet but at the same time it is like a right of passage i know i tip toed around the house when ever i put on a movie or looked at a book, its like when i was a kid and found dads porn movie (beta) i did not know what i was feeling but i knew it felt good. so the porn thing is usually a childhood memories thing.(don't take away our memorizes then you would rule us in every way.
most of all its a trust thing have you every tried and watch any porn with him? would he let you watch it with him that would be a good gauge for what it's purpose is .
if i can be of any more help look me up.
good luck.,
2006-07-20 11:29:00 · answer #4 · answered by BigHardy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is "normal" for a man to look at a nice looking girl. He should learn to be more discreet. About the porn, a magazine is not bad but if there is porn everywhere he might have a problem. You have been with him for four years so I'm sure you know him well by now,so you need to answer your own question. You better than anyone else should know if there is reason to worry.
2006-07-20 11:23:27 · answer #5 · answered by nothingtodo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I,m a 31 year old man and I hate to tell you this but he is normal! These things that you are worried about might lead him to cheat are actually things that will keep him from cheating.
Men work different then women, we can't eat the same ol dinner everynight unless it is spiced up every now n then. He could be hideing it from you then I would worry.
you could actually benifit from the porn, watch it with him and spice up your sex life you could learn new things. Maybe there are things in there that he is interested in that he is to uncomforatble to tell you about. Be openminded and don't catastrophise.All in all my wife buys me movies for us to watch together.Be open minded.
Good luck
2006-07-20 11:31:32 · answer #6 · answered by "THE BEAST" 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal, but being in a relationship I would say he is pushing his needs to the edge of disrespecting yours....The books I can understand...porn site and movies ...if its not your thing and only his...he is pushing his limits on that one..."window shopping" we all do it...but if he make a comment or comparison...that says his mind is taking that glance a little to far. All in all its understandable...so long as everything resulting from this behavior is shared with you and only you.
2006-07-20 11:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a man, but as a woman in a relationship, I do the same thing. I appreciate good looking men, I look, but I don't touch. He looks at them, but he chooses to be with you. You're special to him in a way that none of those women are. We don't go blind when we get into a relationship, but we choose to ignore the good looking people we see and be with the person we actually LOVE, regardless of what they look like.
2006-07-20 11:23:29 · answer #8 · answered by Andi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your guy is not normal, he has a issue with porn addiction and you need to make sure this is addressed before you proceed with your relationship. a wondering eye is no big thing, but having porn on the computer, recorded videos and mags ...he is looking for something. you may want to check his cc statements to see if there have been any hotel/motels paid for that you were not aware of, good luck!
2006-07-20 11:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by City slicker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait a couple more years... i hear that mid-life crisis is the pits... and he's just looking. you would know if something else was up, or he was up for some one else. men look, it's nature, doesn't mean he doesn't love you, doesn't mean he's cheating. it's been proven that men are turned on more by visual stimuli then women, and women tend to be more sensual. like i had said, it's nature. but to be safe, sit down and think... how is your sex life? how's your relationship? ask some friends what they think, seeing as love can be blind. get some different views. just to be safe
2006-07-20 11:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by fordman14437a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋