I am a mom of 4 and the are out of control help!?

Question

my children are out of control. If i tell them to do something they will tell me no eveytime. punishment dont work. i end up doing what i have ask them to do ir i have to fight with them to go to bed.
That is the worst time of my day.

Answer 1

They are walking all over you because they can. Take away privileges, put them in a time out corner, no dessert, what ever it takes. Try incentives, like if all chores get done you will take them swimming or rent a movie or some little reward for them at the end of a perfect week, if not then they don't get rewarded. It doesn't have to be expensive. Maybe the best child for the week gets to pick his favorite dinner! Make a chart that you can put up on the wall and put stars next to the chores that they complete, have a small prize for the ones that do all their chores. As far as bedtime, get them together and read a book to them after they are washed and in pajamas. When they are sleepy tell them to go to sleep and dream about the ending. Give them a snack while they are listening that doesn't have sugar or caffeine, full tummies sleep better.
You need to be very consistent- when saying no you have to mean it and follow through every time. Hope this helps, best of luck

Answer 2

I have four kids myself and understand. I had tried just about everything I could think of. It finally came down to this:

1.) I went through their rooms and boxed everything up (games, toys, any type of entertainment) all they had left was their beds and their clothing and some books. I took it all and put it in storage. I took the television out of the living room. I removed any type of entertainment other than books.

2.) I made it completely clear that nothing would be returned until I started getting some help and once things were returned - they could be taken away at any time.

I know there are going to be some people out there that think this is cruel, but cruel is living with my lazy children and I welcome anyone who challenges me to try living with them before this experiment.

It took several weeks, because of course my children tried to wait me out. After weeks of no video games, no television, no music, no toys, no going over to their friends house (where all of this stuff could be accessed) they finally decided that they would start helping out with chores. I didn't give them back everything at once. I wanted them to appreciate the things they have and learn to take care of them.

After a month of only books and music I found that we were having more conversations together and the kids were really doing a lot better all around. I brought this to their attention and we decided that since they had all come so far we would go thru their things left in storage and each of them would choose only the things they really thought they needed and we would have a yard sale.

I was surprised to see a lot of video games, cd's, dvd's and toys in the yard sale. What we had left over was donated to a local charity and with the money we made we were able to take a trip to the local amusement park.

My kids learned a lesson. They are now more responsible and don't take things for granted as much. The best part is at night when I am tired and just want to relax I don't have to fight with them to go to bed. They will lay down with a book or soft music and give me my time.

Try it - make whatever modifications you need to - but don't back down. The first time you give in - well they win.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I have two kids one is 9 and the other is 9 months and let me tell you I know how you fell my son the one that is 9 years old will do the same, I think it is because we are female because when dad gets home from work he is an angel and makes me look like a fool. So I told him from now on you do nothing but sit in your room until you can show me some respect. He said ok I have stuff in my room I can play with and I told him you think so, you can't do anything I ask of you then you have nothing in your room to play with so I took everything out but his bed and his clothes and let me tell you it took about too weeks be for he realized I wasn't playing games with him.

Answer 4

I don't know how old they are but you have to get control of this situation. The old saying is "if you don't discipline your children when they are young, the police will later on" Be consistent, you are the parent, don't take no for an answer. Take everything they have away from them (toys, game, tv). If they are leaving toys laying around, everytime they leave it on the floor or whatever, take it and put it somewhere they can't find. They only get there things back if they are behaving. Let them cry and carry on. Its going to have to get worse, before it gets better.

Answer 5

You would have taken thw rong attitude to them!!! They were brought up with a lot of "no"s from you and they are now paying it back!! Children are always in their child ego and the response from them initially is always" no". Talk to them in such a way so as to encourage them in saying "yes". Give them encouragement when they do something positively by openly appreciating them ( even with some small rewards) and stop commanding. Your husband can help you a lot in taking sides and persuading them positively. Stop cursing yourself and change your attitude. If I say you have done the wrong parenting so far, it may be correct by about 80%?????Your husband also would have acted as a catalyst to this calamity. But there is hope still!!

Answer 6

This my sound mean but if they back talk clean out their room's!!Take ever thing they love and play with! And if you have to take the bedroom door too!!When they start respecting you and doing what you ask for a awhile give them ONE thing back at a time.Till they learn you are the parent you are BOSS!!With my teenager I learned taking away what she loves most is hurting her more than any punishment I could deal out, and yes to this day she has not got her bedroom door back! She will get it back when she decides to be part of this family and not hide from her chores!!!Her radio is gone for backtalk and she cant use the phone either for not helping wash dishes!

Answer 7

with my kids I had to stick with a punishment. When I told them to do it and they did not they would have to be punished. I had a chiar in the corner that I mad them sit in. It did take some time before they untill they understod that I was the parent and they had to obey me and do as I said. They also learned that by the time they got done with their timeouts it would have been easier for they do have done the work the first time I asked them to. All you have to do it stick with what you say and do not give in. They may be mad at you and hate you for same time but they will love you for what you did.

Answer 8

Sounds like someone needs Nanny 911. Are you a single Mom working your butt off to support these kids? Are you receiving child support? If the answer is Yes and No, this could be the reason that your kids are out of control.....you don't see them enough so they don't know who is boss. You need to spend "one on one" time with all four of them. Schedule time to do this. Get to know them on a personal level. Also, eye contact is key when speaking with them. Get down to their level. Trust me, it works!

Answer 9

I would set natural and logical consequences. IE- if they don't put there favorite outfit in the hamper, then it does not get washed that week and they cannot wear it, if that does not work, try taking some parenting classes , they can help

Answer 10

are you a single parent? Has there recently been a dramatic change in there lives? I would also bring it up to there doctor it could be an underlying health issue if they are out of control. My oldest daughter was the same way and i took her and we found out that she has ADHD. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!