What's the funniest thing you've done to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses knocking at your door?

Question

Some came a knocking yesterday and I was very tempted to mess with them. Let's hear some funny stories.

Answer 1

I invited them to come back on Saturday at 2:00 pm when I was holding birthday party with the Mormons and the Hare Krishna that had been there earlier.
Unfortunately, Jehovah Witnesses are not allowed to attend celebrations per their religion, and I told them that I was picking my new religion on saturday, and they would have to come if they wanted a shot at me.

Answer 2

There is no reason to treat Jehovah's Witnesses disrespectfully. If you are uninterested, just tell them so politely and gently close the door.

(2 Timothy 4:3-5) For there will be a period of time when they will not put up with the healthful teaching, but, in accord with their own desires, they will accumulate teachers for themselves to have their ears tickled; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, whereas they will be turned aside to false stories. You, though, keep your senses in all things, suffer evil, do the work of an evangelizer, fully accomplish your ministry.

It seems signficant that the relatively small religion of Jehovah's Witnesses are the ones best known for their worldwide preaching work. Yet Jesus commanded that ALL who would call themselves "Christian" perform this public work:

(Matthew 28:19,20) Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you. And, look! I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/library/jt/index.htm

Answer 3

My brother informed one "carry on one minute, i quite might want to take a sh*t. i'd be excellent decrease back." Then he closed the door and not in any respect got here decrease back :D i'm getting so aggravated. They confirmed up at my door wearing suits and that i theory something severe became occurring (I have a legal aspect occurring at present day) so I answered the door. i became quite sick with pneumonia. at the same time as it became them, i became so mad. i'm sick and it took each little thing out of me to go back to the door. Plus I stay in an apt. the position i do not get strangers at my door, i comprehend at the same time as someones coming over. So then those idiots confirmed up excellent right here week also, this time at 9 AM and that i became slumbering nevertheless. They left a watchtower mag on my door knocker. i'm getting bored to death with human beings urgent their religions on others. all of us comprehend what religions are accessible and if we've an pastime we may be able to continuously inspect those religions. in my opinion i became raised Catholic and that i'm replacing to Islam because it suits my existence more desirable and is smart to me. i'd not in any respect attempt to press someone right into a faith or worry them. in the journey that they choose suggestion or have questions they can go back to me. JW's prefer to comprehend that their rigidity and lectures are annoying, and a contravention of others perception and privateness.

Answer 4

i haven't personally had them visit my house but when i was a kid they came to my parents house ONCE. my brother and i were playing and saw all of this from up on a hill. some jehovah's came by and knocked on the front door. no answer. mom was making dinner and didn't make it to the door until they had walked away. so as they were leaving they noticed the garage door open and just wandered on in. they banged on that door connecting to the house. once again mom didn't make it to the door on time. then finally, they went to the back door and knocked. this time mom heard it because that door was close to the kitchen...unfortunately, she thought we were messing with her and she didn't put the knife down that she was cutting whatever up with. when she answered the door (knife in hand) she scared those guys to death! they took off running and screaming "crazy lady gonna' kill us!" it took my mom a second to realize what happened and yelled after them "yeah, and don't come back!" my brother and i were cracking up!! needless to say, no jehova's have ever been back!!

Answer 5

Mormon missionaries...Jehovah's Witnesses....it's all similar enough, right?
So most of my friends are kinky to some degree or other. One guy was working his girl over in his living room (bound and naked girl) when there was a knock at the door. No problem. He answers the door and there are a couple Mormon missionaries. His response was, "I'll show you my religion if you show me yours."

Answer 6

I saw one (female) through the glass and said "I am buck naked and have an erection, opening the door in 5, 4, 3, 2". She ran down the front walk at 2.

Answer 7

That is so dis-respectfull to us. Simply say that you are not interested, there is no need to go and b selfish about it and do some crazy stuff like getting naked. Or, you could actually try listening to what they have to say! We are good people and we go door to door because we care and we are trying to get out God's word of the Holy Kingdom.

Answer 8

I have never actually tried to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses but however when they saw the size of my dogs they decided that skipping my house was for the best.

Answer 9

You can usually tell if it's a Witness by looking ahead of time, which is good practice anyway. If it is one, just show up at the door naked. They don't seem to like that very much.

Another one I like is when someone asks me if I want to talk about God, I say something along the lines of either, "Sure, what do you want to know about her?" or "Sure, I love talking about myself."

Answer 10

I was carving up a lamb and went to the door with my blood-splattered apron and with a big knife dripping with blood in my hand. When I realised the state I was in I saw the opportunity for a bit of fun and told them I had to go because the sacrificial virgin was not quite dead yed.

Should've seen the looks on their faces.

Answer 11

They're at a real loss if you tell them you're not allowed to socialize or even listen to false prophets, and since their church has published many, many end time dates which obviously were wrong, that makes their entire church a false prophet. The bible specifically says that if someone says something will happen, and it doesn't, then it didn't come from God and that person is a false prophet.