have kids from a previous relationship and dating a new person. if he's never had kids, do you think he will be able to understand the responsibility of having them esp. when they are not his?
Does how he act around my children say much if he's never had children?
2006-07-20 03:44:59 · 22 answers · asked by fiestygirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the first time he met them he wasn't nervous but he wasn't interactive. What do you think?
2006-07-20 03:45:57 · update #1
It can take just as much time for him to warm up to your kids as it can take for your kids to warm up to him. Be patient. If he's not put off immediately by the prospect of possibly "inheriting" your kids someday, it seems worthwhile to give him some time to adjust.
This is, of course, an important aspect of your relationship with him but not the only one -- don't lose sight of other qualities that are important to you in a relationship.
2006-07-20 03:49:49 · answer #1 · answered by dave-215-212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there are many men that understand the responsibility of having kids, even if they've never had their own. How he acts around your children does say a lot about him, but if it's still early in your relationship he shouldn't be as interactive, unless they ask him. If he's just a fixture, it gives the kids a chance to get used to him and to approach him. It'll make the kids feel better that the relationship with your new beau is on their terms. If this has been long term, and the kids have known him for a while, he should get more interactive, but not to the point of disciplining them. Good luck to you both.
2006-07-20 03:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by Andi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably feels awkward around kids esp. if he's never had them. Also too he probably is a little shy because he knows that women with kids always judge the dude by how he interacts with them. And rightly so....you have a responsibility to you children to pick a guy that is going to treat them like his own. It's not fair to the children if he's aloof and stand-offish. They will think there's something wrong with them. And if things go will with this guy and you get married and have children together....you don't want your children now to feel left out.
I would just sit down with your guy and explain to him how important your kids are AND how important he his to you AND how important it would be for him to warm up to your children.
2006-07-20 03:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very difficult to know how to act around children if you've never had any. He probably realizes how important his interaction with your children would be to you, and that fact alone would make anyone nervous. He would want so much for your kids to like him, that he is almost afraid of them.
It is very, very important to watch how he acts toward them and how they react to him. If they are old enough, ask them what they think of him. You don't want to get in a situation or put your children in a situation that could be harmful, either physically or emotionally. Take it slow, and see what happens. Good Luck!
2006-07-20 03:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by sexychik1977 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A best friend of mine dated and married a women with three boys...and he never had children of his own...To my surprise he has been a good father...I think what he relied on was his past experiences as a boy, teen and adult...tried to guide his boys through those years without as many obstacles as he had to deal with(his dad died when he was about 10), I'd say some things he did were not out of compassion but out of knowing right from wrong and sticking to methods that would keep the boys in the right direction..Their own father was not a good role model...but even though he didn't have any experience of being a father...he has given an extraordinary effort to be a good one.
2006-07-20 03:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just give it time. Some people are great with kids even if they've never had kids of their own. Enjoy your relationship and take it slow, giving him time to get to know your kids and vice versa. He may be totally responsible or he may be just a kid himself, and the only way to know is to get to know him. How he acts around your children over the long term will give you, him, and the kids a good idea of how he would handle himself in a family situation.
2006-07-20 03:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by cucumberlarry1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the first thing that I say to a guy that I meet. I am a single parent and I understand if that is a problem for you and I leave or either he is cool with it. But if the guy is willing to interact with your children and you take things slow then why not... And sure it matters how he interacts with them it shows his true character, because you should know if it is fake or not....
2006-07-20 05:31:17 · answer #7 · answered by peaches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may just take some time. Just because he doesn't have any of his own doesn't mean he doesn't like children. Unless he has lived a very sheltered life, I think he has some idea about the responsibility it takes being a parent. Give him a chance. Best wishes!
2006-07-20 03:49:27 · answer #8 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give him a chance to get to know them & vise versa. He doesn't have any of these little people around, so he is not used to interacting with them.
Also if this is a new relationship, then you have to slow it down a bit. He really doesn't know you ,let alone a set of kids.
Take it easy before he runs for the hills!
2006-07-20 03:50:46 · answer #9 · answered by M J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is kind of like meeting a new person. First he hasn't had kids and may not have any experience around kids. Second he wants to leave a good impression with them because he knows that Mommy wants her kids to like him. He may feel awkward at first but as long as you tell him to relax and not try to be their dad but a good friend he will be fine. Unless he considers kids as excess baggage then their could be a conflict
2006-07-20 03:49:58 · answer #10 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋