Do you think it is wrong for a grandparent to intervene when you are disciplining your child?

Question

Should I say something, or is this normal?
What is you experience?

Answer 1

Due to my apartment complex being sold out from under me and having less than 2 weeks to find a new place, I have been living with my parents for a few months. I have a 4 1/2 year old son and a 9 month old daughter. With my daughter it isn't so much of an issue, but with my son, it is big. I appreciate all the my parents do th help me out, but it is to the point where I had to draw the line. I have told them that they need to leave the child raising to me and quit undermining my parental authority. If I need to tell my son no for some reason, I do not want to hear them say to just let him do/eat/have it. If he is throwing a fit over something and I try to discipline, do not hug and kiss and say poor thing when he comes crying to you. It has gotten to where if I tell him no, with a good reason, (ie having a snack when dinner is 10 mins from being done or letting him stay up past bed time when they know if he doesn't get his sleep he is a bear in the morning and they don't have to deal with it) he goes to them because they will let him do it. Yes, say something, or risk pulling your hair out to get your child to listen to YOU!!!! As long as you aren't being unreasonable or abusive, you need to show authority to your child and control the situation. By the way, I am currently actively seeking a new place to live.

Answer 2

I think it is wrong for anyone to intervene when a parent is disciplining a child, unless of course the child is being physically or verbally abused.

I suggest that you have a conversation with this grandparent when the child is not present. Explain how this degrades your authority and confuses your child. You sound like a sensible and caring person from your question, so I'm sure that you can approach the subject calmly and openly. Hopefully the grandparent will respond this way as well. I think that often grandparents don't realize that they are doing these things and if you explain your parenting techniques and reasoning, they will understand and try not to interfere.

But then, there are those that just think they have the best ideas and need to control everything....

Good luck!

Answer 3

It's always wrong to do it in front of the child even if it's the other parent. If for example when a parent is screaming at a child and the grandparent can see the look in the child's eyes that maybe the parent is missing and the harm it can cause they can speak but once they make the comment they need to let it go. However if there is physical or emotional abuse going on then they should intervene over and over and if necessary call the authorities.

Answer 4

If the parent have been utilizing unreasonable capacity to attempt and 'self-discipline' a toddler, sure i might intrude. A actual punishment like a spanking is tolerable, i does not say something approximately that, yet on condition that it have been being performed top. Slapping a toddler in the face, or head, or everywhere that's no longer the hand or backside is beside the point punishments. Slapping a toddler with any stress previous what's mandatory to income a toddler's interest is beside the point punishment. actual punishments on any toddler under the age of three is, besides to being ineffective, beside the point. That woman became into out of line, and the flight attendant did a solid factor via intervening.

Answer 5

It's normal, but unless you are abusing the child, it shouldn't happen since the child will get mixed messages about what is ok and what is not. Also, the child then learns WHO will let him get away with certain things and will manipulate. You should sit down and talk to the gparents and basically say, "This is how I discipline my child. I would appreciate it if you would uphold these methods as well so that my child doesn't get mixed messages or starts trying to push the rules we've set for him."

Answer 6

Depends on the situation. If it's a minor thing I always grab my grandchildren and say " let granny save your crazy ***" and take them on the porch or someplace where I can explain to them that they are wrong as yellow rain and I will not intervene for them always so BE GOOD! I am always on the parents side but the grands know that I love them. If it's a major thing I let my daughters and sons and their spouses do what they think is right. I know I would have greatly resented someone in my biz at those times if it was something significant. But being a granny gives you certain rights NOT total immunity! So be careful where you butt in (yes it is butting in) pick your times.

Answer 7

My mom has done this because she holds my son up at a higer level then anyone else, and she likes to think that he never does anything wrong. I finally had to let her know, that it is very disrespectful and it gives my son a mixed message. She will admit that I have the most well-behaved child she has ever seen, but didn't want to give me any credit. We fought for weeks about it. But she finally realized that she was wrong. Let this person know, that their kids are already raised and that you are doing what you feel is necessary to raise a wonderful child. If they don't respect that, more drastic measures will need to be taken. Like maybe the child not spending time with them for awhile. I know that sounds harsh, but what would be worse is a child that thinks he doesn't have to obey you. You know the end results of that. Be strong and stand up for yourself. You will feel a lot better afterwards. Good luck.

Answer 8

I think that your parents should not intervene or interfere. You may have to sit down and have a diplomatic conversation and let them know that while you appreciate their advice and their experience, you have your own ideas about raising your child and disciplining them and to please allow you the pleasure, of trying out different methods with your child, as they already have raised children and now it's your turn.

Answer 9

This is a touchy subject. If your disipline was over the top, too angry, then it would be right for the grandparent to defuse it. If it was just that the grandparent can't stand to have their little honey corrected about anything, then you need to have a talk with them, and not in front of the child. Grandparents need to respect your rules.

Answer 10

it depends on how severe the disciplining is. if the parent is causing major physical harm to the child, then yes, intervene, but if it's just spanking for something he/she did wrong, then don't intervene. kids need some sort of discipline.