Best Joke!?

Question

Simply rate my joke out of 5*(asskissers prohibited) and post ONLY ONE of yours...not too tall (or I won't read it) simply the best joke wins...anyways here's mine:

On a beautifull day (cowboy age) an indian child went to talk to his father:
-Father, why are our names so long & complicated?
The father turned to him:
-Well son, it's an ancient indian tradition that when a new baby is born your mother and I would name it after the first view of nature that our eyes see when we get out of the tent,
For example when we had your elder sister, we nammed her "Beatifull shining rainbow next to the sun" because it had stopped raining and we saw a beautifull rainbow when we got out of the tent!
When we had your older brother we nammed him "Lightning shattering the sky and the rain" because it was raining and a lightning struck when we got out of the tent...
You seem a bit upset...is something bothering you "Two dogs $hitting by tent"????

Hope you liked it >:-)

meh...I dunno ur name first answerer (!!!) anyways obviously u haven't been here long enough to c the weirdos I saw...in any case I didn't like yours either lol...I'd ask even ppl to rate it as well! >:-)

Answer 1

a family was going on vacation and asked his neighbor to watch his house while they were gone. The last day that they were gone the dog comes home dragging the neighbors poor rabbit through the mud. The man manages to get the rabbit from the dog & washes it. The rabbit is nice and clean and smells so nice, but its dead!! worrying about what the neighbor will say he takes it back to the neighbors house and puts it back in the cage. He figures he will tell the neighbor that it must have had a heart attack or something.
The family gets home and comes over to see how everything went. Fine he says, no problems. The neighbor askes "did anything weird happen while we were gone?", "No, he responds, "why do you ask?"
"Well, before we left the kids rabbit died and we burried it in the back yard, its now back in his cage... Sure sure smells nice though!!""

Answer 2

It is an oldie, but still worth an 8.

Here is the one that you asked for.


Cowboy Logic


A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Montana ranchers for controlling the coyote population.

It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.

What the Sierra Club proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated and let loose again, and the population would be controlled.

All of the ranchers mulled over this 'amazing' idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat back, and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those coyotes ain't ******' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em."

Answer 3

little and interesting jokes

Q. What is the main function of the England coach? A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it would move? Pizza - HUT! (move aside)

i don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and every time he goes to a restaurant, he tries to complete the set.

Never used it...
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

Answer 4

very very old...2

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

and you're so pathetic, no asskissers, and if its too long you won't read it, lazy....whoops there goes my ten points ah well enjoy the joke

Answer 5

Not bad! 3.1

Here's some 4 ya (8 jokes),

1- What kind of cheese isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese!
------------------------------...

2- What do you call a smelly teletubby?
Stinky Winky!
------------------------------...

3- Why did the witch put a watch at the end of her broom stick?
Cuz she wanted time to fly.
------------------------------...

4- Doctor, Doctor !! My irregular heartbeat is really frightening me.
Don't worry - we'll soon put a stop to it!
------------------------------...

5- Why did the duck try to cross the road?
to show his girlfriend he had guts
------------------------------...

6- the 7 dwarfs were in the tub feeling happy, so happy got up and left!
------------------------------...

7- Man comes into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is in bed with cold cream on and wearing curlers. "Honey," the man announces, "this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headache."
The wife looks annoyed and says, "You old fool! That's a sheep."
The man replies, "You old fool! I wasn't talking to you!"
------------------------------...

8- A marine and a soldier were driving down the same road, both talking on a phone. They got into a terrible crash, and there cars were totaled, but none of them got hurt. The marine produced a bottle of alcohol and said:"Well, we're both to blame and we're okay, so why don't we drink this bottle of wine and bury the hatchet?" The soldier said okay, so the marine gave him the bottle and he drank half of it and offered it to the marine. The marine said:" I'll wait for the cops to show up first."

Answer 6

I've heard it before... but it's funny - 3.5

An evangelical preacher stands before his congregation and claims to have the power from God to heal people's ailments. He asks for two volunteers.

A man raises his hand and says "Mych naaame ish Slarry, I've alsways hach a schpeaking probchlem."

Another man raises his hand and says "My name is Stan, and since I was a young boy, I've been on crutches."

So the preacher tell Larry and Stan to walk up to the alter and stand behind a screen, so that everyone can send their healing energy to the men behind the screen.

Everyone sends their prayers and energy to Stan and Larry. Then the preacher tells Stan to throw his crutches over the screen.

One crutch goes over the screen, followed by the other.

Then the preacher says, "Now, Larry speak to us!!"

And Larry says.....



"Slchtan fell slchdown."

Answer 7

OK there were two blondes on either side of a river. One Blonde said to the other "How do i get to the other side?" and the other said "You are on the other side!"
Hope you like it and i'll give your joke a 4.5 to man! Good one!

Answer 8

0.1*

I dint like the nature of the father. Means,, he is so foolish. How could he keep a name like that. or use that concept.
My advise to the father would be to be more pragmatic.
Please tell him, Pl, otherwise he will spoil his family.

Answer 9

I didnt know indians lived in tents........i thought they were teepees but good try

0.5

Answer 10

Well I am silly as hell and I thought your joke was hilarious!!! I really liked it (LOL)

You get a 4.5 from me!