Hi, I met a fabulous guy online, and we had a quick nice date, finished with kissing on the cheek.
On the 2nd date, he came to my town, had a wonderful evening. As when I said I he should get back to the station, he kissed me on the lips out of the blue.
I was stunned, but I loved how it felt, so I kissed him back, 2 times. I drove with him back to the station in a taxi.
Now I'm an asian girl, had more than 15 bf, but never kissed or have been kissed before we know that we're going out as gf bf. This must be a huge cultural difference, but I'm so shocked. Because I'm out of the country this weekend, he asked me out next week.
In this country, having a 3rd date a potential of starting a relationship? Kiss on the lips doesn't mean anything?
Is it safe for me to contact him when I'll have a business meeting at his town and I have spare time in the evening?
This must be a weird question, but I must understand the tips and dating culture as much as possible with English guys! HELP!
2006-07-20 02:38:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm Japanese, very positive and open to new ideas, and have dated Americans and English before...but they lived in Japan. Now I'm in UK, and having this experiance... I never had a thrashy experiance in love, so I'm getting shaky!
2006-07-20 03:13:56 · update #1
Cute Bird-
This is not at all a "weird question." In fact , I found it to be very interesting and really informative. Very glad I read it.
As far as culture shock, yes, wow- that is a huge difference between your culture and Western culture. I am from the US, and I have to say, if you've had 15 bf in your country and never kissed any of them WOW ! That is culture shock to me! 15?? WOW! I can't speak for the rest of the West, but in the US a kiss on the lips on the 2nd date would not be unusual at all. In fact, it's not unusual, though not AS COMMON as ppl from other cultures think, for people in the West to be so free about sex that they have it with each other shortly after meeting! This started in the Viet Nam war era, and was uncommon before it. It was a reaction to the horrible killing and destruction there that so many of us here deplored. The saying went "Make Love, not War" and they meant love WITH free sex.
SO yeah, you're going to have to take it slow and not jump to conclusions with the English guy. I guess that where you're from, a kiss on the lips on the second date would mean a LOT more than it would to an English guy.... you're going to have to ask him how serious he is. It's possible he's JUST trying to get you in bed, so be careful. Explain to him the cultural differences you explained to us. It is CRUCIAL that he understand that, I'm sure he had no idea.
And yes, a 3rd date does mean the potential of a relationship, generally so in the West. But not a marriage or very committed one necessarily.
The important thing here is that you think he's FABULOUS isn't it? So take a risk, tell him that, and see how it goes. But be sure you two talk a lot about the cultural differences. Otherwise, you're both trying to dance with each other but using different steps, and you'll step on each others toes.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU IN LOVE!
2006-07-20 02:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by Thom Thumb 6 · 10⤊ 2⤋
To answer all of your questions
In this country, having a 3rd date a potential of starting a relationship?
I would say it does. From what I read, it seems like he assumed the relationship was already going on.
Kiss on the lips doesn't mean anything?
It does, to some extent
Is it safe for me to contact him when I'll have a business meeting at his town and I have spare time in the evening?
yes
Good luck
2006-07-20 02:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by Caidy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm... honey in this country most of the girls are easy so they even sleep on a first date. Yes, thats gross but a lot of people do it. Kiss on the lips should mean something, he obviesly liked you and maybe wanted to have a relationship with you, or maybe just wanted to get you in his bed. It is safe to contact him and see what he would like from you. First see what you would like to do, if you would like to have a relationship with this guy then have a talk with him and see if he wants the same. If not then maybe you are not type of a girl who is just going to be an out-of-city-booty-call! If you are ok with that then don't have "the talk" just go with the flow and see what happens. 3rd date could mean starting a relationship, but its not for sure until you see what he really wants. But overall English guys, expect to "get some" sooner than any other cultures. It's all about what you want!
Well thats all from me, I hope this helped. Good luck!
2006-07-20 02:49:39 · answer #3 · answered by ~Dee~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date the guy, if u really like him. Of course call him when your in town and things.
Dating is like being best friends but with the kissy kissy on the side.
Get to know eachother and have 50 more nice dates. Kiss every time - kissing GOOD!!!
Kiss on lips means a lot!!
Very safe to contact him again, as soon as possible.
Arrange another date.
Just be yourself and be nice and laugh and have a little fun.
If your really not sure, why dont u just ask him?
2006-07-20 02:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by chanD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, understand, it could mean absolutely nothing. Here a kiss is just a kiss. Sex is just sex. Don't assume anything until you feel it because they will tell you anything to have their way with you. You have to make a judgement call on how far to go and how soon to go there. But know this, if you go all the way too soon (or just at all), you may NEVER hear from him again. Be prepared for that possibility. Other than that, have fun!
2006-07-20 02:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was showing you that he's attracted to you by kissing you.
It is perfectly fine for you to contact him if you like him. You should probably talk to him about the cultural differences and what you will and won't do so he doesn't pressure you.
Westerners are very comfortable with public affection and it's normal for even rather conservative people to kiss on the second or third date.
Good Luck and enjoy your new relationship
2006-07-20 02:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by Brandie C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that you are a Filipina and has retain some good qualities of a Filipina. I salute you for that. It's rare nowadays. I hope you will maintain that.
But as you know, english guys have different culture from you. The kiss is just a kiss to him. It's natural thing for them. Well, you must let him understand the way you were brought up. Don't sacrifice what you believe in just so as to please him Anyway, maybe thats one reason why he likes you. Get to know him well. Good luck girl.
2006-07-20 02:57:31 · answer #7 · answered by Summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for it he really like you and he trying his best to show it . English men are very open . there not like the old day were corting a girl for a while. his is just showing you that he would love to have another date and maybe you and him can become more then just friends. best of luck
2006-07-20 02:48:01 · answer #8 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is playing by the 3 date rule.
1st - kiss on cheek
2nd - kiss on lips
3rd - end up doing the horizontal lambada all night long...wild thang!!!
2006-07-20 02:43:22 · answer #9 · answered by bretto24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am English.
Anything goes. I have had sex on the first date or the tenth it depends but there are much less taboos than there are in the US or Asia.
2006-07-20 02:41:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋