I feel bored ..... send me some jokes please?

Answer 1

You Smell Nice

A guy comes up to a woman at the office and he tells her that her hair smells nice.

The woman immediately goes to her supervisor to file a sexual harassment suit.

The supervisor says, "What’s wrong with someone telling you that your hair smells nice"?

The woman replies, "he’s a midget".

Answer 2

Well here is a Joke for you an Indian friend sent me its kinda funny if you know how these Sikh Sardars talk :-

There Was a Meeting of All the Sardar Freedom Fighters.
They Were Planning for a "FREE PUNJAB".
Santa Singh Raised A Point,
"Oh...We Will Take Punjab from India, But ! How Would We Develop It?"
That Was A Toughone Indeed.
Banta Singh had a Brainwave.....No Problem He Said ! We will attack AMREEKA(America),

It Would Takeover Us & Then We Would Become Another "ESTATE of USA" & Develop Automatically".
All the Sardars Became Happy with this Very Simple Solution
But ! An Old Sardar was Not
Someone Asked Him Why He Was Not Happy ?
The Old Sardar replied, THAT'S ALL VERY WELL.....
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ! IF BY CHANCE WE TOOK OVER AMREEKA(USA) ???" ....
LOL ! LMAO !

Answer 3

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile... Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

====================================================

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've reached

Date: 12 July 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as cool as mine was.

:))

Answer 4

hehehe...check this one:

A man tells his Blonde wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.
"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"

Answer 5

Here's some 4 ya,

- What kind of cheese isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
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- What do you call a smelly teletubby?
Stinky Winky!
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- Why did the witch put a watch at the end of her broom stick?
Cuz she wanted time to fly.
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- Doctor, Doctor !! My irregular heartbeat is really frightening me.
Don't worry - we'll soon put a stop to it!
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- Why did the duck try to cross the road?

to show his girlfriend he had guts
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- the 7 dwarfs were in the tub feeling happy so happy got up and left!
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- Man comes into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is in bed with cold cream on and wearing curlers. "Honey," the man announces, "this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headache."

The wife looks annoyed and says, "You old fool! That's a sheep."

The man replies, "You old fool! I wasn't talking to you!"
------------------------------...
- A marine and a soldier were driving down the same road, both talking on a phone. They got into a terrible crash, and there cars were totaled, but none of them got hurt. The marine produced a bottle of alcohol and said:"Well, we're both to blame and we're okay, so why don't we drink this bottle of wine and bury the hatchet?" The soldier said okay, so the marine gave him the bottle and he drank half of it and offered it to the marine. The marine said:" I'll wait for the cops to show up first."

Answer 6

whats the differece between batman and blackman? batman can go out at night with out robin!

what do u call a mexican with a rubber toe? A Rebuto!

Answer 7

yo mamma so stupid. When she saw a yellow bus fulla white kids she started running down the street yelling " STOP THAT TWINKI!!"




So funny

Answer 8

Follow this link.....
http://www.tipidpc.com/viewtopic.php?tid=64870&page=2

i like the LOTR stuff

Answer 9

DIS S DA OLDEST JOWK EVER

Y DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE BRIDGE?

BCOZ HE WANTED TO CROSS THE OTHER SIDE



dddddaaaa

Answer 10

One day a man was looking at his marriage certificate ,his wife on seeing this his wife asked him whats the matter he responded that he was looking for the expiry date...................................Howz that for starters .If you want more Plz Email me AMMU