Am I not smart enough?

Question

I used to live in California, and I was a straight A student. We had to move to another country cause my dad got a better job. When I came here, I started to have a lot of problams with homework and schoolwork, even though I speak the language pretty well. So my parents decided to home school me. But my brother, who is younger then me, is still going to school and is not doing as bad as me. I think, am i not smart enough?

Answer 1

If you were a straight A student in California I don't think your problem is that you are not smart enough.

One factor here, is that your brother, being younger than you, is almost certain to be better at your host country language than you--to pick it up faster--and to pick up the nuances faster. The younger you are when you move into a culture which speaks a different language than you the easier and more naturally you learn it. So your brother has an advantage over you there.

Since you are older the materials that you were studying in school were more more difficult, used more difficult language, and contained more difficult ideas. There is a difference between everyday conversational language and the language of scholarship.

There are also cultural nuances, shared ways of thinking and shared national experiences that the children of your host country grew up with. You do not share these and they can get in the way of understanding. Even in our native tongue it is possible to understand every word a person is saying and have no clue to what they are talking about. How much more is this true when you move into a new country.

Here's a list of things to think about:

1. The first has to do with pressures and expectations which
you and/or your parents may have had on you in regards to
attending school and/or your brother having less trouble.
I think it would be good if you could think this through and
maybe show your parents what I've written and talk it
through with them.

2. How important is it to you to be able to go to school with the
rest of the kids. There is a social element here you need to
think about. There is also the element of whether or not you
will feel a failure because you feel that you couldn't run
with the horsemen, so to speak. It's not that you are a
failure, because I don't think that for the world, but what you
feel about it in yourself is very important.

3. What are your future plans. Are you hoping to have a career
which would use the language of your host country, or take
you back there to work someday.

And now, if, after thinking things through and talking things through with your parents, you still think you want to try the national school, then I would suggest that you and your parents let you go and get you a private tutor to work with you in the evenings. It would be a larger commitment than home schooling. In the long run, and depending on your character,
your drive, and your ambitions, it could pay you back many times over.

Now, to let you know. I grew up in three countries. And I understand what it means to make these huge leaps into new places. I have lived outside the States as long as I have lived in them (and that's a fairly long time). I have had to learn a second language as an adult in order to live in a fourth country.
I have taught ESL for over 20 years, and I now tutor students from foreign countries. Believe me when I say that I understand a good deal about your problem just from your question, and that I consider it the issue to be one of first importance in your life right now. And worth every effort you and your parents can make to come to a decision that YOU feel is the best one for you, and that YOU can accept without feeling that you are somehow not smart enough, not good enough, not up to par, not able to cut the cake. Your parents need to know how you feel. If they have not spent much time out o the US they may not understand the special problems and fears and needs of "Third Culture Kids" (which is what you and I are),
or the long term effects if you don't work it through now.

Write back, or have your parents write me if you want to discuss this further.

Answer 2

You're still smart! You just may not have been performing well in your new environment because of stress, or a slew of other things. If you don't like homeschool, you should tell your parents that you want to come back to public/private school. Once you're more comfortable with your new country, then I'm positive you'll become that straight A student again, and quite possible the star of the school! Califronia has really good school systems, so you probably know a lot more than the other students already!
Just try not to think about how you're performing as compared to your brother, and think about being the best again! You're still smart, and you'll always be, and a test can't tell you any different!

Answer 3

You are plenty smart. Younger children tend to adapt to changes better. Don't compare yourself with the situation or the new country or even your brother. Be yourself and do the best you can do that is all you can expect of yourself. Moving is a big adjustment in this country, it must be very different for you. The stress is probably what is causing the problem. Accept that you are as smart as you want to be and everything else will fall into place. Fear is another thing that can distract you. I'm sure you miss your friends and your old home as well. Hang in there, you are fine, you just haven't adjusted yet.

Answer 4

Sure you are smart enough if you use to get straight A's. Younger children pick up different languages better. Is there no American school that you can go to there? Don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself. You'll be OK. Once you have been there a little longer you may be able to fit in the school system there. Teaching methods may be different than what you are use to. Maybe you could go to school for a class or two to get you acclimated to the system there. Good luck in your studies and keep up the good work.

Answer 5

Now this story sounds familiar:)
I was in the exact same situation as you are not too long ago, only I didn't homeschool. I nearly failed math two years in a row, though (in a school where only 5% made it to the end without repeating at least once). What you're facing is a more difficult level of work than you're used to. My guess is that none of your friends from California would be doing much better.
As for your brother, it's a combination of being younger and having easier classes.
All it takes to do well in these sorts of schools is a whole lot of hard work.

I'd be interested in knowing what country you're in.

Answer 6

It depends on what country you moved to AND your grade.
Some countries progress faster than in the US, and thus, you being older, the difference would be larger. You can catch up if you use your homscholl experience to really excel. That is your choice. Maybe you have a particular weakness, that would keep you from doing well in all other subjects, like comprehension, or spelling? This does not mean you are stupid, this simply shows that your previous school was not up to par with their curriculum to be competitive overall. But you can make it up! Good luck!

Answer 7

Am I a not smart enough ?.. This question shows your lack of confidentility. Change your attitude...

Act smart.

Answer 8

if you think you are smart, you realy smart!so,you need to believe yourself!now,you change a new place must have many problems!after a few weeks,you will feel better!

Answer 9

it takes some people longer to adapt to new surroundings and Friends then it does other people

Answer 10

ya i think so