I already have a kid with my boyfriend of 4yrs and we are about to get married in a few months.I'm not sure if i wanna get married coz we always fight coz he wants to go out with his friends without me, Its not that I dont want him to go out its just that I wanna avoid any misbehaving from him coz he cheated on me once and i just don't want the same mistakes repeated as they say prevention is better than cure.And one more thing we only see each other once a week coz of work and now he tells me he wants to go out! is he kidding me!!!Soooooo marry, wait or .......?
2006-07-19 21:57:11 · 15 answers · asked by LILO 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you had been listening to yourself you would know the answer wake up.
2006-07-19 22:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're smoking crack if you marry him. Just because you have a child does not in any way force you to marry this guy. Having a child forces you to be a mom and him a dad, but it doesn't force you to be married. Sometimes that does more damage to the child than anything else. Imagine how great it would be if you both went your separate ways and a man came along that loved you, loved your child, had a good job, and was totally there for you guys, loving, compassionate, etc. It can happen...but it won't if you have lame-o-larry sitting in his spot. Good luck!
PS Cheating says "I care about myself and no one else right now." Sounds like he's too selfish: cheating, wanting to hang out with his friends during the only time you can be together, etc. You've began to grow up without him, due to your child. You're leaving him in the dust maturity wise. Might do you both a favor if you cut if off now.
2006-07-20 05:03:40 · answer #2 · answered by Scadle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into anything...take your time and think with a calm mind. If you have doubts about whether your marriage will be a happy one, then don't marry in the near future. Of course that does not mean that you break up...you could simply postpone your wedding! Also, you should speak to your partner about your feelings. That will clear a lot of things for you.
You also have a kid with your boyfriend, so it's best if you can make things work out. But don't marry solely for that reason, because that wouldn't work out, and an unstable marriage would have a terrible effect on your child.
2006-07-20 07:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by haze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, please don't let your kid be the reason you marry this person. Make sure you marry him because you love him and because you want to be with him for the rest of your life.
After that if you decide you really do want to be with him there are 2 problems that I see here that should be dealt with. The first is cheating. I know that it's hard to let go of the past and of someone cheating - and I know that it's nearly impossible to let all of that doubt go...even years later. But you have to make the choice - do you trust him or not? If you don't trust him, please don't marry him. Neither of you deserve that. If you don't trust him to not cheat on you, he won't be a good husband and to be honest you're not being a good wife either.
If you do trust him however, you have to TRUST HIM. That means...if the only reason you don't want him to go out is that you're scared he'll cheat, that's like punishing him for something that he might not ever do again. If he truly is sorry for his mistake, if you truly forgive him, let him do what he wants. Yeah - he did mess up and I would never belittle that. He should be helping you through this time. He should be more supportive of you. Maybe if you brought it up to him like..."I want you to cut back on going out because I'm still dealing with the feelings of you cheating on me. I'm not saying that you can never go out again, I'm just asking you to spare my feelings too." That way he'll know that you're not doing it out of jealousy or malice.
Good luck.
2006-07-20 11:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have married before the kid came out, but I would say yes, go ahead and marry him now.
If he cheated once, that sucks, but it can happen and you shouldn't hang it over him for the rest of his life. And guys do like to go out and have fun drinking/playing pool just as guys, so don't overreact to his "guys nite out" requests. Married people also settle down, so it might be the answer to a bunch of your problems.
2006-07-20 05:02:30 · answer #5 · answered by im.in.college.so.i.know.stuff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry this loser. He is obviously looking for an easy woman, you seem like a nice young woman. You don't need this sort of relationship. If he does this to you during the courting days, who's to say he won't step out on you AFTER you're married. Find another who is more worthy of your love.
2006-07-20 06:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough situation for you girl..... if you wouldn't have kid with your guy, i would have suggested that you move on....
but now that you have stated the problem... lemme try to give you a possible reason and a possible solution......
reason...... the love/sex life has become boring for him... it is the same old person whom he sees everyday.. no change... he even knows how you will react and on what.... IT'S THE SAME YOU everyday.... his getting interested in other girls means that you are not giving him enthusiasm in relation ship..... you are just being STATIC.....
possible solution.... i will suggest that you change something in your self every day... may the way you dress ... may be the hairstyle... may be the way you talk.... be a bit naughty.... be a bit flirty.... be a bit sexy... guys want their girl to be like girlfriends rather than wives.... i am not saying that they don't want wives... its just that even after marriage you have be like his gf....
suggestion.... before marrying him... try these things out.... i am sure your guy will never go anywhere,,,....
2006-07-20 05:00:40 · answer #7 · answered by mitr_hamesha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you really need to ask a bunch of people on yahoo that question, you should have dropped him when he cheated on u in the first place, there is no point marrying somebody when you know in your mind it will just end up in divorce, wich will just be more money down the drain and possibly heartbreaking for your child.
2006-07-20 05:25:56 · answer #8 · answered by lil_meex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by the sound's of this, you do not trust him, if it were me, i would give him his own life and let him do what he want's, or you will not last, a man hates a women who has controll over him an his money. i would not get married unless i fully trusted him, but this is your choice, talk to him, about how you feel, if he is nice, he will listen
you need to know if he is the right 1 for you
2006-07-20 05:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by louise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask, the answer is no. Not right now anyway. It sounds like you two have issues as a couple. Do what's best for you and your child.
2006-07-20 07:48:59 · answer #10 · answered by Char 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋