My friend and I and her ex-boyfriend all met back at school, 8 years ago. Her boyfriend and I both liked each other then, but she didn't know. But I let my feelings go because it wasn't worth it to me to let a guy come between us. They dated for a year. They broke up and she started dating another guy who she is now married to and also has a child with him. My friend, her ex-boyfriend and I all went our seprate ways, and haven't seen each other in person since. But we all have kept in contact with each other via phone calls and email. Lately her ex and I have been talking more and more and have become very close, and are planning to visit each other very soon. And now just recently I found out my friend still has feelings for him even though she is married. And told me she dosn't want anyone else to have him. So is it wrong for me to go forward with this visit and relationship? or is she the one out of line?
2006-07-19 21:18:32 · 23 answers · asked by Is This A Dream 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well first off my hat goes off 2 u for respecting ur friendship. there is only one thing u should do. u need to tell ur ur friend the truth. how u liked him back then and still do. tell her the 2 of u have always talked and now that she has a life with husband and kid that u would like to pursue what u always wanted to try. make sure u tell her how u respected her friendship and put away ur happiness for her. now u would like the same. just are u sure that he likes u. so c what happens. she has a life and is ur friend she should agree and want u happy. so ask her and c. if she says no then do what ur heart says.good luck
2006-07-19 21:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by SLICK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's married... she doesn't have any claim to him what-so ever. She's moved on and now so has he... she can't have her husband and this other guy. She's already made her choice and now she has to live with it.
What right does she have to tell you who you can and cannot date?
If you were a Guy... The Guy Code says that you have to have a one year grace period to give them a chance to get back together. Or get the guy's permission. Women are different however.
But she's married... has a kid... it's not your problem that she has regrets about her life. You're job is to make sure that you dont have regrets. So ask yourself if your loyalty to a friend you've known for the same period of time is really worth loosing a chance at what could be a great relationship... possibly even the last relationship you'll have. What right does she have to say that no one else can have him? Is it really your fault that she couldn't make it work with this guy? And should you really be denied a chance at happiness because of it. If she can't get over her ex-boyfriend and be happy that you've both found happiness... she's just being petty, jealous and possessive of something she has no claim over. The whole situation reminds me of a spoiled brat trying to take away someone elses toy because "They want it"
If I were you... I'd risk the friendship and follow my heart... unless the ex-boyfriend isn't over your married w/children friend... Then I say F*CK 'em both... neither knows what they want.
2006-07-20 04:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I see nothing wrong now.
First and foremost, your friend is married and SHOULD HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR HER FORMER BOYFRIEND. Since the two of you are not hooked with any other persons, I personally give you the go-ahead to do the visits, and even go ahead with a strong and fruitful relationship. It isnt also like you've not known the guy previously. Girl, there aint nutting wrong. Go ahead and let your heart be free.
2006-07-20 04:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Bruno Tataglia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't the answer obvious?? A BIG NO.
Your friend (whether married now or not is irrelevant) has no relation now after 8 years with the guy. So what is the issue?
You are silly to ask this question. May be you are hiding the facts and ....
2006-07-20 04:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by nodoublespeak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gasp! she's married with a child and still has feelings for her ex and she still thinks she has rights over him. you should not respect her as a friend or as a person for that matter. she has no right to tell you what to do or who to be with especially since she has a husband.
forget her and then maybe forget about your friendship with her. then go for the guy. don't let anyone control your life. she is definately out of line she's not even close to the line! good luck and i hope things go well with him!
2006-07-20 04:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by keet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know at least that the "Bro's before Ho's" code of guys states that not immediatly do you make a move on your friend's ex so i would say 8 years is respectable and she wouldn't mind especialy if she's married to someone else.
2006-07-20 04:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lone Silver Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend is being manipulative and unreasonable.
she moved on in her life, has a family that should be her
number one priority.
a true friend, who already has a husband would want her
friend to be happy.
if you really care for the guy , and he cares for you ,
her's is a friendship you should walk away from if she
does not yield to you on this.
furthermore, remove the trio factor from the picture , if it means moving, changing e-mail , unlisted number etc.
say good bye and move on with your man , cause baby , she's already got her man.
and don't cry over it if things don't go the way you might want it to.
she's the one that's wrong!
2006-07-20 04:46:26 · answer #7 · answered by john john 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong to date right after they break up. If you are sure the relationship is over. I would really like to know who wrote the book on love eticate? Is there such a thing? Have fun, and don't worry, Be Happy.
2006-07-20 04:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by Joseph L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go ahead and be with that guy..but while you are with her, you explain to your frenz that you could hardly control your feeling for him also and hope for her best wishes..seek for her understanding also..If your friend is childish enough not to friend you because of this guy then you can forget about this friend. Firstly she is married, she should be faithful to her husband and commit her life to her children and secondly, love should be a fair fight..you cant force love upon someone..since you and him love each other so much, you should go on with it
2006-07-20 04:30:23 · answer #9 · answered by Stephen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong if you know that your friend really loved this guy. You should put yourself in your friends shoes. How would you feel if the love of your life, you could not have, and moved on to have your Friend start to date him and probably dog him out? Again, yes, it is wrong!
2006-07-20 04:23:35 · answer #10 · answered by Morris S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋