what can i think or do now??

Question

im so in love with my boyfriendand we speak by phone everyday i met him on my vacation last year and i am moving in with him next month! so we speak my phone everyday and send each other phone messages a lot of times during the day- today he didn't call or send me any messages all day- i asked why and he said because his friend was joking around with him and stole his phone- i asked him why he didnt call me from another phone or like pay-phone he said he was so angry and he couldnt speak with anyone and when he came to his home he had pain in his stomach and went right to sleep then he said he woke up and called me immediatly-- so i told him ok and we made up and now everything is fine between us- but i still feel something is not right..and he also said he was busy- i dont know what to believe anymore- i asked him if he has another girl and he said he feels so hurt because i ask that and that it is impossible to love another girl he always tells me that- he is the nicest guy ever

Answer 1

I think you have much more serious issues than whether he called you or not:

Why are you moving in with him?

Are you ready to make the move from Mom and Dad being most important, to him being the most important? Really be independent from Mom and Dad?

Are you ready to make a permanent commitment?

What about him? Is he ready to do all that?

This is really important. A sexual relationship creates a permanent change in a relationship. In a very real way, you cannot go back once you've moved forward in that direction.

And you don't want any third parties interfering (even Mom and Dad), nor do you want the pain of leaving part of yourself behind (and having bits and pieces of him left behind with you because you've broken up.

Nor for that matter do you want the trust problem of not knowing where you stand (otherwise you wouldn't have written this question in the first place).

So you've got to fix it so there won't be any third parties, and so that there will never be a breakup. In other words, you need to get married - and that, not just for the piece of paper either. It's got to have this meaning I am describing.

And be prepared: it takes a lot of work to maintain a permanent relationship and make it work well.

If you aren't both ready to do that, if you aren't absolutely sure he's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, then I would urge you to keep your relationship platonic and live separately until you are ready to do all that.