What is the right age to have the sex talk with your kids?

Question

My son just turned 9. He has asked for years where babies come from. We have always said they are a gift from God. Now he asks how God puts them there. Should now be the time to talk fully about it.

Answer 1

I do not think there is a right age, I do not think there is such thing as the sex talk anymore. Those were things of the past. Nowadays, it is never to early to start talking to your kids about sex, look around you, sex is almost anywhere, newspapers, magazines, songs, videos, movies, TV shows, the news, even cartoons, so kids are being exposed to the subject before you even know it. Of course there are different levels of communication and different methods to teach them depending on their age. I really believe that the best method is to always answer their questions as they come up with, with honesty and as close to reality as possible. Because there is nothing worst than: a) your kids going to someone else for answers, or b) your kids thinking you are taking them for fools. The real question these days is when to start being open about sex with your kids, that's a whole different world....

Answer 2

I would say that my mom should have talked to me about it when I was going into middle school which I think has about 11 or so, but now a days it is need earlier then that. I think if you soon is asking then its probably time to tell him....as long as you think he is mature enough. Also kids seem to have away of letting you know when you have answered there question and you dont need to go on anymore. If your child doesnt stop you from telling him the whole truth then I see no harm in telling him. If he stops you and is happy with the answer he is got I would leave it at that until he is 11 then I would sit down and tell him wether he has asked or not. A lot of different things start happening in middle school and its good for him to know asap. Also please do not just asume the school system will tell your son what he needs to know because that is not the case. They will tell somethings but not everything and a lot of times they dont tell the informations about STD's and the harms of it until they are usally in the 9th grade, and sometimes that is too late. Also tell your child all the things you can if he wants to know......I think parents try to make there children fear sex sometimes a little to much. Of course you dont want them to think OH SEX IS GREAT I WANT TO TRY IT NOW, but if you dont tell them that sex can be enjoyable they will hear it from there friends (expecaily boys) and then he will feel like you have lied and he should try it. I would tell him as much as I could that yes its good and there is many benifits from it, that is how he came into this world.....but there is also a lot of bad and if your not careful you could end up with baby to early in life, STD's, ADIS (which I guess is an std, but its much different then some other STD's),ect. Anyways Good luck and I believe there are a few website that give you some ways to talk about sex and drugs and all that stuff with your kids....I dont know what they are off the top of my head....but you could go to yahoo search and probably find them. Anyways hope Ive helped you figure something out or atleast helped a little

Answer 3

The earlier the better! I keep a very open relationship with my children. When they question me, I give them straight, truthful answers in a language they can understand. I would MUCH rather have them hear it from me than a friend or on TV. Also, this makes them feel good about coming to talk to me about anything...they know I will tell them the truth in a straightforward way. Even my 4 year old knows that the dad puts the baby in the mommy's belly and the doctors take it out after it grows big enough. When she asked how they get it out, I plainly told her that sometimes it comes from your private area and sometimes they have to cut your belly. I have pictures that she has seen of childbirth, where her head is just beginning to come out. Believe it or not, showing her these pictures and discussing things with her was a positive experience and she felt good knowing exactly how she got here and where she came from. I know a few parents who have had their young children (even as young as 5) in the birthing rooms with them, watching the whole thing. Love and babies is a beautiful and natural thing. It only becomes bad and negative when parents make it out to be some big secret thing. My older children, of course, know a few more details (like how daddy gets the baby in there) but when my 4 yr old thinks to ask me that question, I will answer her openly and honestly there as well. At the age of 9, if you haven't told your son yet, I can pretty much gurantee that he has heard it elsewhere!

Answer 4

This is something to be very careful about, it's important for you to be the one to explain it, but I wouldn't put it into graphic terms yet, unless his friends at school are telling him things or he is learning it in sex ed anyway - schools give kids training about it early these days without necessarily telling the parents what is happening in some cases - in that case you may have no choice but to tell more and set him straight on how to think about it in a mature and intelligent way. It will be important to stress the values you hold and how he will hear a myriad of different things from other kids and teachers. I would really think about it and ask someone you trust who has mature and intelligent older children how they approached this. I don't have enough experience in that arena yet to advise anything more. If your son hasn't developed full reasoning skills and abstract thinking skills yet so that he can consider choices, consequences etc... - as many don't until age 12, I wouldn't necessarily give him all of the facts yet - a young mind doesn't understand necessarily know how to process it. A 9 year old isn't a little adult as the growth and development charts will tell you about the development of a child's psyche.

Answer 5

10

Answer 6

I work at an elementary school. When they ask, it is time.

Our problem as parents is how to say it. Don't explain the , " When a man and woman love each other "........schmultz. Seriously, kids today are far more advanced. I have a 10 year old, and actually am having him consult. He is right now playing with kittens our tabby had 3 weeks ago. He got to see one of the kittens be born. A great way to show childbirth.

I said the words penis and vagina, and gave a very matter of factly conversation when he asked at 8. For the most part it was boredom, and "EWWWWWW!" The best part is, he knows. Now I can just worry about his urges and advising him as he moves into puberty.

Answer 7

My parents never gave me the talk. I don't think I asked. I knew about sex around the age of 9 or 10. I found out from classmates but I found out a lot more around the age of 12-13 when I started to look it up on the Internet my self. I was a curious girl.

I think 9 is a OK age to give the talk. Not to scare you but boys are much more curious then girls as we all know. So you might want to give the talk before he goes to the Internet.

No matter what you do by age 11-12 he will know almost everything.

---edited---

Just to let you know as a guideline I never asked because I was afraid too. I never had anyone tell me wrong info and yes I did start to masturbate and look up at porn around the age of 13. I lost my virginity at the age of 16.

sexxychick <--- ya your right. When school started to teach me about sex it was too late. around the age of 11 I already knew many terms like masturbation , anal , oral etc..... I think t.v and the Internet are a major impact but I love t.v and the Internet.

Answer 8

Start as early as possible!! The more he knows from you, the less he will pick up from experimentation and wrong info from friends in school. There are a lot of books created for kids on the subject of sex like "Where do babies come from." it explains sex and how babies are born, but in a non-graphic, easy to understand, way that kids will be properly informed. You can pick the series up at any book store, possible even Amazon.
My mother bought this series for me when I was 6, and I could not have thanked her enough! By the time my hormones kicked in I knew all the information I needed to make a smart decision and handle sex is a safe and mature manor.

Answer 9

There is no right age, but there is a right time. The right time is when the parent or guardian believes his/her kid is prepared to listen and face the subject of sex maturely. In truth, it really depends on the child's character, for e.g. tell an incredibly inquisitive and naughty 9 year old kid about it, and he might just go all out to learn more or try it out through unfavourable channels; he might satisfy his curiosity, but I'm not sure you want that for a 9 year old though. On the other hand, if you're going to tell him "half-truths", at least try your best to sound convincing, it should buy you some time before you really decide to tell all.

Answer 10

I talked to my oldest 2 at 8, and gave them some age ideal books for reference. My six 365 days previous and four 365 days previous understand that sex is a few thing grown united statesin love do to make a toddler, that the toddler grows contained in the female's abdomen till it is waiting to come back out, and then it's going to be born. I wasn't envisioned to inform my 4 365 days previous so quickly, yet i'm having twins in January and that is what I informed them. i am going to provide them better intensive ideas even as they're 7 or 8.