A friend of mine can go on talking for 25-30 minutes, often changing the subject about two or three times in the process, before I or anyone else has said a word. When he finally stops, he does not realize that the reason there is silence is not because nobody wants to say anything, but that everyone is trying to either mentally catch up with what he just said (he's an extremely fast talker) or they now need a mental break to refresh themselves. I suspect he is autistic, and have told him so, but he refuses to get checked by a doctor. I have tried to politely let him know that this tendency is very mentally draining on others, and is the reason why he has a hard time making friends, but it goes i one ear and out the other with him. I am about to bluntly tell him, "SHUT UP!" the next time he goes off on one of these tangents. The guy just doesn't realize he mentally drains others with his endless tyrades. What would you do??
2006-07-19 19:29:55 · 9 answers · asked by rhino 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
In response to Missi's comments. He definetly rocks back and forth endlessly. I did not have enough room on my original message to give that detail. He also blunts out sayings like you mentioned as well, and has a tendency not to be able to leave stuff alone. When he is in my car, and I go into the gas station to pay for my fuel, I always find him snooping though my glove box when I get back.
2006-07-19 20:09:53 · update #1
I know someone who is like that. The thought that came to my mind is the person could be very self centered, lack social skill, and or autistic too. I think there is not much you can do about it cuz they truly believe there is nothing wrong with them.
2006-07-19 20:26:38 · answer #1 · answered by h2o 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Obsessive talking could be a symptom of any number of things from Asperger's syndrome to depression or other disorders--or simply a lack of social awareness. One thing for sure is that people here or in your group will not be able to diagnose what the problem is. Here is something to try. Sit down and talk to him privately as a friend. Tell him exactly what you have told us here. Let him know you are doing it as a friend. Tell him he has to hear you through and not to interrupt. Devise a private signal you could give him when he goes off on a tangent. It could be a word (hard to get in!) or a hand signal, touch, baseball sign--whatever works. The signal means he is to stop, pay attention to what he is doing, or ask someone a question to get them to talk instead. If this doesn't work, you may just have to resort to the "shut up!" or limit contact with him but encourage him to seek professional help before he isolates everyone and has no friends at all. Good luck!
2006-07-19 19:50:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..i think you just have to be blunt and honest with him. My boyfriend is the same why he will just go on talking and not let anyone else say anything or he quotes lines from movies all the time and it bugs the crap out of me. I've told him he just talks to much and if he has to get his breath more then 3 times without anyone else talking "shut up". we joke about it but i know how you feel!
2006-07-19 19:34:28 · answer #3 · answered by emc251978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just an idea,how about secretly recording one of these sessions.
A day or two send the cassette to him in the mail.
This person may have an awareness,hearing himself go on and on
and he himself not able to cut in.
Just an idea.
2006-07-19 19:59:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with someone like that is they often don't release that they have a problem and have to come to a point where they realise for themself and want to do something about it. The only thing you can do is be patient with him and keep telling him that this is a real problem which he needs to sort out.
2006-07-19 19:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by waggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That could be true but as you said he doesn't have too many friends. Could it be that he is lonely and doesn't have anyone to talk to? so when he's with you guys It's like he's making up for the time when he's alone.
2006-07-19 19:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time he starts yepping, put on your MP3/radio headphones on and dance to the music. People like him loves to hear their own voices.
2006-07-19 20:09:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that doesn't sound like autism at all..sorry..autism signs usually are well noticed in early stages of life..and its usually a rocking motion they do and loud outbursts and blank stares, and just lack of communication.
He jus seems to have a ton of energy..maybe jus nicely tell him he needs to settle down? and that hes wearing you out and exhausting yer brain.
2006-07-19 19:36:33 · answer #8 · answered by Jinkies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like autism, it sounds more like ADHD.
2006-07-19 23:54:05 · answer #9 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋