Love or Lust..?

Question

My friend is so uncertain of what was this certain guy's real intention to her and I really dont have a clue if its Lust or Love?
I wanna help her, so please help me...

Situation:
My friend accepted a guy's invitation to go out. During their firstdate the guy tries to kiss her (necking, petting and caressing her body)The guy say sorry when she confronted him. So,she tried to think it was the guy's way to show his affection only, however each time they go out the guy would do the same thing and it is starting to confuse her if the guy really love her or he is just after her body. Everyone thinks and tells her that the guy is head over heels inlove with her, but the guy didn't say a word. She's so down because deep inside she's also starting to feel that she is falling in love with the guy..

Sorry guys and gals, I missed to say these details.. thinking that it was getting long..

This guy always says, she's the most beautiful women he'd seen and that she's too good to be true. He always waits for her after classes and he's actually a perfect gentleman on the streets. They have so many good times together, that's why she fell inlove with him. The only thing that confuses her of his love was his habit of doing that.

Answer 1

give him what he wants, and then find whether hes truly in love.

Answer 2

If everything else is so perfect, it could be something real. But if he was doing it from the first, chances are that it's lust. Or maybe it's lust turned to love. I don't know. I'd have to witness their situation for myself to give a good answer. But I would like to point out (just because I know guys like that) that it's not a given that it's only lust. Or that, like I said before, it didn't start as lust and develop into love.

Answer 3

Well, it could be a variety of things.

If we are looking at it from a benign perspective and thus assume that the gentlemans intentions are not designed to only gain access to your friends nether regions, then it's possible that the man in this equation just doesn't know any better.

So many people in our society are brought up in a way that is entirely contrary to the days of class and etiquette. They have been taught certain things and it may be that this fellow was taught that this is the way to show love and he may know no better.

Regretfully it could be something as simple as lust and this fellow may be just trying to access the hidden locked goods that your friend has. If this is so, there is very little in the form of real or good tests to find out, well at least none that are super reliable.

You might have your friend tell the fellow something like, "I've been brought up with certain values and one of them is that I cannot have sex until I'm engaged to a man and have a ring and everything. In fact, I'd rather wait until my wedding night."

Something like that might quickly show the fellows true colors, even if it's only because they argue that this is a bad idea and that no one does that anymore.

You could even advise your friend to state something simple like, "I'll only consider that once we've been dating steadily for at least 6 months or a year."

Have your friend introduce the fellow to her parents as well, make him nervous that this is going to be serious and he's not going to just get sex.

Your friend could also go with the honest truth and just ask. "I feel that you only want sex, and I'm looking for a long term relationship. If sex is all that you want, you may want to go with someone else. If your looking for a long term relationship, then I'd like to ask that you wait until I'm ready."

Good luck.

Love as always,

Sebastian

Answer 4

no. this right here is lust. if it was love, he'd respect her & not try to access her body at every open opportunity. on a first date you go for the first kiss but the rest of the body is off limits. as for her, i think it might be just her caught up in infatutation, & if she's not sure whether it's love or not, it's most likely not love. dude's just tryna get some & is not right for her

Answer 5

girl both the things r part of the relationship
love and sex u cont just do without the both for long
the guy actually feels for the girl but we all have wants and
how would ur friend feel if the guy would go to another girl for sex to another woman coz he ant getting any from his girl
afcoz he loves u so wht if he touches u or want to kiss u
i think that is healthy coz he want ur friend only
well girl r better judge of character if the guy is as a s s hole then may be he just after sex but if he is genuine then ......
cheers

Answer 6

Lust. Having been in love myself ( several times unfortunately), sex is usually the last thing on a mans mind if his heart is in the right place. Tell her to end it now before its too late

Answer 7

Do they even have any quality time together? Or is he just all over her all of the time. I would have slapped the hell out of somebody if they were up on me like that on a first date. He's not head over heels for her, because if he was, he would treat her with some respect! Tell her don't put up with that!

Answer 8

You knew the answer to that before you asked.
Lust....all men are driven by the goal of sex. Some argue that it is a genetic code for humans to want but guys are usually the ones that are more up front about it.
Oh, and she's dumb to fall in love with a guy that doesn't love her, he only wants what she can put out.

Answer 9

love or lust she must be willing to take the chance to find out which one it is... love is a deeper feeling of affection usaully after a long period of time has passed and you know alot about the person,lust is just sexual feelings based on physical appearence or other material /superfictial items

Answer 10

Love is a HUGE thing. This guy has to be givign her absolutely everything and she has to feel totally comfortable with him and he should respect her if she doesn't want him so much all over her. to me, this guy sounds really more lustful than anything. why doesn't she ask if he loves her? communication is the key

Answer 11

No he is just lusting for her body and that is not love ,But if she stay with him she will start to feel the same way and she will lust for him and think it is love ,But all only it is lust and he will run with it as long as she will let him do it. he is going to do it .