My boyfriend treats me like a princess and he really cares about me. I love him but I often find myself thinking of an ex-bf. The Ex treated me poorly and I may never see him again, let alone be with him (I don't even know where he is or what he's doing). The reason of my thinking of Ex, though, is that the sex was absolutely amazing, whereas with my boyfriend, there's not much passion and he doesn't satisfy me in bed. Sex isn't the most important thing to me but it does matter. Ex broke up with me 7 yrs ago.
I don't know what I should do. I think I'd be a fool to throw away a wonderful boyfriend for someone from the past with whom I have long lost touch. But if I go on thinking about Ex, I am afraid that it will hurt my current relationship in the long-run. My boyfriend would love to marry me. I'd like to marry him too but sometimes I don't know, again because of the memories of Ex.
What should I do? Is someone out there in my position? Help!
2006-07-19 18:16:58 · 16 answers · asked by Lady WK 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 yrs. I am worried about taking the next step with him, ie. marriage, while still thinking about someone else.
2006-07-19 18:21:21 · update #1
Stay with your boyfriend. He treats you right. Don't exchange sex heights with being treated like a princess. Sex gives short-time satisfaction. But someone who treats you right always will really last. Tell your boyfriend or show him what you want in bed. He has to know.
2006-07-19 18:22:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first of all, you have a guy who treats you like a princess. Why on Earth do you want to be with someone who treated you like trash? The only reason why you are thinking of your ex is because you were wanting him to be like the boyfriend that you have now.
Here is some advice. Start taking notes.
1.) You need to start taking charge of your sex life. I know that we girls say that sex is not important, but if there is no passion, you have a problem. Tell your boyfriend the things that you like and dislike. Tell him that you want him to touch you at point A; not point B.
2.) Do not compare your boyfriend now to your boyfriend 7 years ago. Girl, it was 7 years ago. Get into the now. You said it yourself that your ex was mean to you. It doesn't matter if the sex was great. What matters is the way that you were treated. Your ex was not a great guy, so don't make him sound like one.
3.) Be honest with yourself. You love your boyfriend. You see yourself married to him. He treats you like gold. Honey, it sounds to me like you have a good thing.
I have been there and done that. You know what I chose. I chose someone who treats me with the upmost respect. I thought about my ex, but he wasn't worth the thought process. I realized that I had a really good thing happening and I was not going to mess that up.
I learned that if there was something that I didn't like, I had to speak up. Go back to point #1. Take control. Be vocal. Add some spice. Bring back the passion in your sex life. Do not let less passion mess up your relationship. Oh, and the thoughts of your ex has to stop. Not worth the thought process.
Good luck with everything.
2006-07-19 18:33:10 · answer #2 · answered by luckygirl69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you can give your new boyfriend pointers, and make it seem like something you want to try together, from what you learned from your exbf. nothing has to be said as to where you learned it, or how you got the idea, and if asked..all you have to do is say, I heard about it once. which would be the truth, considering you did hear about it, because it happened to you. He just doesn't need to know that. Use what you learned from your ex to teach your bf some new techniques. You both can learn together. Part of a relationship is learning with each other likes. and working together to make it happen. What you learned from the ex could really enhance the new relationship, because the new bf, could put a new swing on it once he gets the hang of it. Perhaps this would help you be able to think more on the current relationship. Remember, As long as We are on this earth we are learning, and that means with sex too. We all have new things to learn, some things are more fun than others. And remember once new bf learns new things, than the fun comes in, in practicing ....Good luck.
2006-07-19 18:42:37 · answer #3 · answered by Enigma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I've been in your shoes before. We ladies have a fire in the belly for those guys that might be jerks, but say all the right things and are great in bed. That pretty much describes 60% of the men I dated in my 20s.
Do you *want* to get married right now? If not, tell your boyfriend that and let him find someone who's ready for him now (or at least let him realize that he'll need to wait until you come around, which may never happen). If you *are* ready to get married, pick the guy you have the strongest friendship with and the one who acts like the best partner. Marriage is a very, very long time, and you're going to spend far more time working together, planning your lives, caring for your families and hanging out - a LOT more than you'll be spending getting 'amazing' in bed!
Good luck!
2006-07-19 18:24:00 · answer #4 · answered by Trinaunz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your new bf, in a serious, but gentle manner, explaining as gently as possible the problem, and discuss ways in which to address the problem. DO NOT state to him that he is a lousy lay, or a dud in the sack. Address the problem as carefully as possible, without being confrontational about it. Sometimes, the problem is that of inexperience, and not a lack of romantic intent, but fear of expressing the inexperience. Help him to learn ways to make things better, experiment with him, and make it more of a playful experience for him, thereby relieving any pre coital tension before things get going. He will get better, and last longer as his level of experience increases, and he becomes more confident. I hope this helps.:)
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2006-07-19 18:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by Darqblade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably still thinking about your ex because he was your first love. I still think about my first love even though he was a total jerk and I'd never get back with him. You should stay with your current boyfriend if he treats you great. Those kind of guys are hard to find.
2006-07-19 18:20:40 · answer #6 · answered by crystal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT BEEN 7 YEARS. MOVE ON, YOU WITH SOMEONE THAT
LOVE YOU. WHY ARE YOU STILLING THIINKING ABOUT
SOMEONE THAT WAS NOT GOOD TO YOU. YOUR EX
NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU. DONT MESS A GOOD THING
UP AND IF SEX WAS NOT IMPORTANT THEN YOU WOULD
NOT HAVE BROUGHT IT UP THAT MAY BE THE PROBLEMS
THEN TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND, AND BE HONEST WITH
HIM. OTHER WISE YOU WILL RUIN WHAT SOUND LIKE
A GOOD SITUATION.FOR SOMEONE ONE THAT NOT IN'
THE PICTURE.
2006-07-19 18:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay with him...if sex doesnt matter put in the back of your mind..stay with this guy,why would you think of someone who treated you so poorly?? good luck..wonderful guy is much better.
2006-07-19 18:19:59 · answer #8 · answered by afmooseluvrx3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice is to just keep it chill ya know, as in just bf/gf until you stop thinking about him so much...and if you love your current bf more...then sex shouldnt matter that much...i mean you love him...
2006-07-19 18:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you had lots of time to get over him ..what is making you keep thinking about your ex .. iti s not fare to the one you have now .i would tell you my story ..it was very painfull to me
2006-07-19 18:26:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋