My oldest is starting jurior high and im scared. is it true that they have to have the right stuff to fit in?

Question

by the way he is a boy. What do i do if the kids make fun of my son for not having the right stuff because im not well off. we are low income.

Answer 1

Even if your son does not have the "right stuff" (such as name brand clothes, or top of the line sneakers, etc.) if he has the right attitude, he will do just fine. If he holds his head up high, doesn't get into trouble or fights, stays confident, and studies hard, he will do just fine.

One thing that we all have dealt with in this life (especially those of us who are low income), is the dreads of school-- The "how do I fit in" issues. Due to the fact that you are low income, your son is seeing that hard work, and self discipline are ways to achieve greatness in life- great homes, great clothes, etc. He is learning about real life by being low income. THAT will make him go far in this world.

One thing, if you are really worried that much about him having "the right stuff", is go to thrift stores-- the wealthy often take their name brand items there-- that is where I get my Tommy Hillfiger, Gap, etc. clothes from. But I personally feel that teaching your son that it is not about having the "right stuff" but rather being the "right person".

If people make fun of him for being low income and not having the best of the best, go speak to the school principle and guidance counselor. Express your concerns. Another thing you can do, which can help him to "fit in" is get involved-- go to the school board meetings (if you do not already), go to the PTA meetings, go to the bake sales, etc. because you will be interacting with the parents of these other children, and that will reflect onto your child's relationships with his peers. It will make it easier for you to speak to the other parents if issues arise.

Also, set up a "buddy system" with other parents on the first day of school. Stand around and talk with the other parents, maybe even expressing your concerns about having the "right stuff". I am certain other parents are going through the exact same feelings right about now.

But the best thing I can suggest is be active in your child's school as much as possible- it is harder to pick on someone whose parent comes to the school often rather than someone whose parents are unknown.

Good luck, and I am sure your child will achieve much in his life, because he has a parent who cares.

Answer 2

It can be really tough to be a low-income kid in junior high- I know, I was there. It will make a big difference whether he goes to a private school or public school- I went to a private school, and my experience was horrible because all the other kids there were well off and I stuck out like a sore thumb. But I moved to a public school later, and found that because of the greater diversity, people were much more accepting.
Yes, your son might get teased by some people for not having the latest clothing or gear, but I don't think it will be a huge problem. Honestly, it's worse for girls than it is for boys. Thrift stores are great. If you're willing to look through the racks, you can find some fairly new, nice clothing for a really good price. Most important is that you emphasize to your son that no matter how anybody treats you, it is more important to be a good person than to be well-dressed. Fitting in isn't that great- it's so much more fulfilling to figure out who you are as an individual, and then live it no matter what anybody else thinks. Encourage your son to develop his own interests and personality, and his own style to go with it. Help him get involved in activities he's interested in, and give him as much support and encouragment as possible. These things will help his self-esteem more than any pair of jeans could. Good luck, and I hope his junior high experience is a good one.

Answer 3

Stuff is just stuff. If he feels inferior because his stuff is not up to snuff, other kids will pick up on that insecurity and use the obvious deficiency in stuff to start. If, however, he projects confidence and positivity (in a cool, contemporary way) he will connect with people on a more meaningful level, and the shallow jerks who buy overpriced sneakers will find someone else to bother. No one remembers their friends in high school because of their choice in shoes - it's what's inside that counts. If kids bug him about his stuff, he should be ready to say that he's saving up his shoe (or whatever) money for something really cool, and mention something that he's genuinely interested in - telescope, guitar, dirt bike, etc. And it's better to have 3 $20 shirts rather than 10 $6 shirts. Just make em last until you outgrow em.

Answer 4

Sorry, there's nothing you can do to protect your son if other kids start to make fun of him. It doesn't matter if they make fun of him for not having the right stuff or if it's something completely different; kids will always find something to tease other kids about. It's just part of life and he'll have to learn to deal with it one way or another.

Answer 5

To fit in with the popular crowd, kids usually do have to have the "in" things. But it's definitely possible to have a lot of friends without being involved with those stuck-up people who will make fun of you for what you do or don’t own. The group I hung out with in school was by no means popular, but the people in it still had lots of friends who liked them for who they were and not what they owned.

Answer 6

Unfortunately yes most of the time. Jr high is usully when the cliques are formed and the less well off usually become the outcasts. I know this because that's what I went through in jr high and it was not pleasant.

Answer 7

junior high is very difficult. but there are friends for everyone. when i was in junior high i had nothing. i was very poor and could not afford it. but i didnt let that get me down. i knew that i was a good person and i appreciated everything that i was able to have. you need to sit down with your son and let him know that he is a good person and to let that shine through. If he is outgoing and doesn't hide in the back of the crowd b/c of what he doesn't have then he will be just fine. i had so many friends in junior high b/c i wasn't afraid to be myself and even if people would say something about what i didn't have then i would just let them know the situation and remind them that it is not what you have it is who you are! I wish you and your son luck. everything will be ok.

Answer 8

Your son is getting a EDUCATION, had him informed that he will be facing some peer pressure and such and you are doing your best to supply him. It is the heart and not the materials that make a man.

Answer 9

Take him to the local Christian church were people don't chase after the things of this world and let him see himself as a child of God so that his self esteem won't be damaged by people who do.

Answer 10

What a great corrector builder that will be. If he doesn't let that bother him, he already has the right stuff.