what to do with a 2 year old?

Question

my son is 2 yrs old in when he gets mad or dont get his way he bites hits and screams he also will throw things at you what can i do to break him from this every thing i have tryed has failed please help what can cause these outburts can it be adhd or just the terrble 2 stage n will it go away

Answer 1

One important thing to understand about tantrums is that they are normal behavior, and should therefore not be punished. Toddlers are supposed to have tantrums. Your goal at this age should not be to stop your child's tantrums, but rather to guide your child through them and to minimize the situations that might elicit a tantrum. ....Here is a link to Dr. Sears about 2 year olds...It is too long for me to put it on here... Good Luck

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063300.asp

Answer 2

I know exactly what your going through. my just turned two year old is a little terror. I love him dearly, but when he wants his own way ( which is all the time) he too sreams shouts and throws things. I tend to grit my teeth stay calm and get on with it. Dont get me wrong, i am human and do lose my temper, but try my best not to. Does this sound familiar: let him out of his buggy because he wants to walk. won't hold your hand, runs riot, so you try to get him back in his buggy, which causes a huge tantrum. In these situations i stick to my guns, and don't give in, no matter how many people stop and stare. This applies to most things, wanting sweets etc. I used to think my son had some sort of behavior problem, as most other 2 year olds i know are really placid and well behaved. A couple of weeks ago i put him in a nursery for half a day a week, for a bit of extra discipline, and he is a perfect angel when he's there! I think he is just a child who gets bored easily, and needs stimulation. I feel like because i get time out as well, our time together is more quality time! So just do what i do, keep calm, dont give in, and hope the terrible twos come to an end soon!

Answer 3

The firs thing to remember is that most peopel go through with this. it is so much easier to handel if you know that it is a phase and, with correct direction, will pass - and it not bad parenting or a difficult child.

A temeper tantrum is a play for power. I makes mothers flustered, embarrassed, desparate and powerless - right where your toddler wants you to be. The first thing to remember is that if you keep your cool, you have won half the battle. I know it is hard when he is kicking and screaming and throwing things, but if take a deep breath and let it out slowly, repeating your mantra "it will pass it will pass" then you can calm down sufficiently to deal with the situation in a rational manner.

The next thing to remember is that a reaction - any reaction - is what he is looking for. Whether you shout, cry, yell, talk calmly, have your worn tantrum - you are giving in to his tantrums. You have to completely ignore him in a manner that he knows that you are aware of him but that you choose to ignore him. Dont leave the room - he needs to feel your love and care.

When he has calmed down, which he will eventually, you can pick up where you left off. "no, you cant have tv now" or "i'm sorry, but you can only have the lego after you have eaten". You will most likely get another tantrum again. This one is testing your strength and resolution. Dont give in to this one - this is where you can lose all you have worked for. Treat this tantrum in the same manner as the other.

When he comes out of it, pick up again where you left off but preemp it with "if you have another tantrum, I will have to give you a time-out"/ Time-outs are great for allowing the kid the opportunity to cool down and step away from the issue without punishing him (which can in itself cause disobedience).

Never give in, even if it seems easier at the time. You will see that the passage of time will bring smaller tantrum, quicker tantrums. Even in public, where you might feel pressure to give in - dont.

Try to avoid situations where you will cause a tantrum. Never take him out shopping if he is tired or hungry. Always warn him a few minutes beforehand that things will change "we are going to bed in ten minutes" or " we will leave the park in 5 minutes" so that he is more in control of his environment.

Consistency and resolution will help you overcome this horrible stage. Good luck!

Answer 4

I can tell you right now if you don't put an effort into stopping his behavior now. It will not pass after 2. Age 3 and 4 will be worse! At 2 he is discovering that he might have a say in what he does. Let him be independent but when he is doing something to harm you or himself take action. The time out chair has worked well with my daughter. At first it will be hard to get him to sit in it but soon he will understand. Be consistent. But don't expect life to get easier as he gets older. Wait until he is three! AHHHH!

Answer 5

Okay....well simply tell him to stop biting you. We do not bite People..As far as the tantrums its' gonna happen Noo matter What.....If I cannot control my son I simply give him choices. Either ask him what the crying is all about and then if that doesn't work I just ask him if he wants a time out. If that doesn't work I just simply go about my business and leave him crying. Not for long ofcourse...Just a minute or 2 and then I ask him to come to me and sit next to me or give me a hug and I tell him he is going to make Mommy cry...do you want to make mommy cry? He is usually responsive to all my techniques

I know it is hard and quite frustrating but after a toddler is having a tantrum whether it be 1 minute or seems like forever....ONce you say something you have to stand by what you say!!! This is their way of testing you. If you finally give in to their fits then eventually they will learn that this is the way to do things!

As far as throwing things...once he throws one of his toys or yours...lol just take that toy away....that is it!!! Tell him okay now that you threw something at me...You lost the toy(ofcourse give it back to him eventually) sooner than later cause this will guarantee a bigger temper tantrum!!!
If you ever heard Dr. Phil say....ONe way to teach your children is to take away their commodity. You need to be strong and definitely Patient!

ohh and also...Please DO NOT BITE YOUR CHILD BACK....that is Just soo sooo wrong! You are trying to teach him not to do something and then think about it....you are gonna teach him something by doing the same thing to him??? Doesn't that sound retarted>???

well I hope I helped
Good Luck!!

Proud mother of a used to be Biting, throwing things, and kicking Child!!!

Answer 6

The one thing about a 2 yr. old is this..they have been the center of the universe since birth, suddenly it's different..they want independence, but they don't..if you explain, quietly and calmly that you understand they're upset, but you can't let them hurt themselves or anyone else, and they need to control their bodies, if you're in a place like home, walk off and let them calm down, pick a safe quiet spot if possible..once they realise that you get what going on with them, it will stop, just be firm..I grew up with a mom and dad that spanked, and although I am fine, I raised my kids differently, I think it's a better choice

Answer 7

My daughter is two and shes been throwing a few tantrums too, dont worry coz it is normal - I just ignore her when I can, or use the naughty corner. She hates the naughtey corner and generally stops screaming in less than a minute. I used to just scream back at her but then it became a game so I wouldnt recommend that! lol
Good luck (he will grow out of it!)

Answer 8

Well Honestly you need to spank the little guy. If you don't want him to do something you have to teach/train him not to do it. Please no one take offense to this I have 3 children, expecting another, and I teach 2s and 3s. Children are wonderful little people. But they are selfish, self centered, and full of sin just like any adult. You have to teach them to do good. Did you ever have to teach yoru child to lie? No he/she does it all on their own. Spanking is the way that was intended by God. If you do not feel comfortable with that then decided between you and your spouse the discipline action you want and then stand AGREED on it and carry it out. Do NOT bend! DO NOT ever give in. He needs to know that he CAN NOT have his way no matter what and that his actions due to it are not acceptable. He needs to know that you are in control and NOT him. If you want love, respect, and a close relationship with your child you need to put your foot down. My son (almost 5) actually said to me one time, "Momma, thank you for spanking me. I am glad I have a Mommy who loves me and teaches me to be a good boy." If you do decide to spank...NEVER EVER spank your child when you are angry. If you are angry with your child then the child should be set alone to sit and you should go and cool off. It is WRONG and ABUSIVE to spank your child when you are angry. If you are going to spank do it the right way.
1. Talk to him and tell him he is wrong (even if he is screaming) talk calmly to him.
2. Tell him that his actions are not ok and that since he acted this way he will now have to have a spanking or a time out or your choice.
3. Then proceed to carry it out. Spankings are most useful when done on a bare bottom. Spanking a diaper doesn't do any one a lick of good!
4. You need to make sure that he is submitted before taking him out of time out or stopping the spankings. Normally 2 good swats will straighten a child out at that age.
5. Comfort him and tell him that you love him and do not want him to act that way as it is wrong and will not help him to grow into a good young man. You may think he will not understand. Try him!! THey understand more than you know!!
NEVER tell them you are sorry for the discipline. They are wrong not you. Teach him to apologize after to whom ever he hit or what ever.

So that is my two cents. I do hope that it helps!!! NEVER ignore your childs wrong doings. When they become teens they will think no big deal mOm and dad will just ignore it anyway! Really I have seen it happen that way!!!

Answer 9

I have a two year old sister we dont let it go that far but when she shows times of a tantrum we put her in a room and if she starts saying "no! no! no!" we pick her up and rop her on the bed and say " Cry in here when youre done you can come out" Then we leave and close the door so she can cry as much as she wants, Eventually she stopped with the tantrums. Dont wait by the door let him come out when he is done by himself, and if he is still crying drop him back in. Now, when she wants to cry she goes in the room closes the door, cries like crazy, and comes out. I hope this works for you. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Don't get caught up in the labels....HE IS TWO YEARS OLD. The best thing to do is educate yourself on the developmental stages of toddlers and that will let you know if he is behaving on an age appropriate level and I'm sure he is. Also that terrible two stage is a myth because to be quite honest it last alot longer than two years old.

Answer 11

well you are supposed to give him a time-out in a designated tie out chair or time out area. And give him one minute for each year of his age, so two minute time out every time he does something.

And it is supposed to be a swift action, the very second he is throwing something, you pick him up and put him in the time out.

I have twin three year olds and sometimes it feels like I am putting them in times outs all day long. its hard.... good luck

Oh one more thing, when my kids were two, if they were screaming that they wanted something and flailing their arms about, I would imitate them and say "I know!! Youre angry!! you want a chocolate!!!! (or whatever they wanted)" this is supposed to show them that I understand how they feel-- I think this works quite well., but hitting, etc. always gets a time out