My mom asked my boyfriend if i was pregnant when i told her we are getting married and it really upset us?

Question

She wants me to wait longer i guess, but she got married young because she was pressured into doing it and felt obligated. Its not the same thing and she knows it. My mom is my best friend and i want to get married now because we've been planning on it but know it's all complicated because i have a hard time doing something without my mom's blessing. She said she's happy for us but i just don't know what to do. I need some good advice please.

Thank you all so much. You don't know what this means to me. P.S. I'm crying and listening to sarah mclaughlin, can i get more pathetic?

Answer 1

It's so great to hear you say that your mom is your best friend. The fact that she has told you she is happy for the two of you is a very positive sign. I see another good sign in your question, although you may not recognize it as such: you seek your mom's blessing. The love in your family must be very strong. Try to listen to your mom's concerns, involve her in your planning, and feel free to go on and on about your love for your boyfriend. I sense that this is going to have a glorious outcome.

Answer 2

Don't be upset cause she ask if you were pregnant. It happens so much today that that's what a parent thinks and usually they are right. She was upset; so forget about that part. Are you of legal age to get married or does she have to sign for you? If she has to sign, perhaps you guys would do better waiting another year and show mom how responsible you will be as a couple...like finishing school and getting a job and NOT getting Pregnant. She just doesn't want you to make the same mistakes she made. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have said anything about it. So consider yourself lucky and include her in your plans. Ask her what would make her feel better about your impending marriage. Give her some love and respect.

Answer 3

I guess I really don't understand why you are upset. I think your mother asked a legitimate question since:
1. you admit you are young
2. your mom married young and thought you would learn from her to wait and enjoy your youth a little longer before the responsibilities of marriage/family
3. since you want to get married youing, your mom probably figures it is naive to think you are a virgin

Your mom asked out of love and caring. At least she asked and didn't automatically assume you were pregnant. That shows that she would have been very supportive even if she had heard that you were pregnant.

What to do? Be grateful for a caring, supportive and loving mother who only has your best interest as heart. She is happy for you so put your hurt feelings behind and look ahead knowing that your mom will always be there for you and love you unconditionally.

Answer 4

Sounds like your mom really does love you.

Try talking to her - tell her you feel hurt that she thought you weer pregnant. Tell her she taught you better than that and you would never feel pressured into getting married for that reason.
Tell her thank you for worrying about you and wanting the best for you - then tell her this is what you really want and you NEED her help and her blessing for it to be wonderful.

If she still has a problem with it -sit down with her and write a list of pros and cons - you will both agree in the end.

She just wants you to be happy and live life with no regrets - Hang in there and good luck

Answer 5

If you are young your mother's first thought was are you pg.
I wish you would of said your age.
Don't start off your married life with tension.
If your mom is like a best friend you will listen to her reasons for wanting you to wait. Then you think about it.
You are very emotional right now which suggests to me that you might not be mature enough to get married yet. As you age, something like your mom not giving you her full blessing on something won't bother you. You learn to be more confident in your decisions and not let your emotions rule you so much.

Give your self sometime to think this through. If you feel confident that you are ready then go for it.

I would suggest something first. You and your bf take an afternoon and check out what it costs to rent a place to live in. Be sure to remember the electric bill, the gas bill, the water bill, the garbage bill. Then figure out food bill, don't forget fast foods and soda, vidio rentals, cable TV, computer hook up, cleaning products, cosmetics, hair cuts. Car payments, car maintence, car insurance. Health insurance premiums and co-pays, Laundry costs. credit card payments and any other bills you will have. Take a piece of paper and write it all down. Then write down what you have to earn to live monthly. Add $200 for pocket change. Might be more than that.

Make a list of what you will need to set up a household. Down payment on your place to live, cleaning deposite, first and last months rent. Fee for connecting the phone, fee for connecting electricity & gas. Furnature. etc

Now figure out what you need to spend on the wedding. Make a detailed list.
Before you get married also you need to figure in what a baby would cost. Write down every detail, diapers,day care, health care. etc

If you are sure you can afford this all, then set the date if you feel comfortable.

Congratulations!

Answer 6

If she wants you to wait longer.. maybe you should consider it. If she got married young, then she probly knows that it is very difficult to make a marriage work if you don't have your life figured out yet-- i.e. not done with school, no job, no money.

Everyone loves their boyfriend when you hang out and have fun, but when the bills start rolling in, it is a different story. Take your time. Listen to your mom., She loves you!!! You are her BABY!

Answer 7

I understand how difficult and upsetting it can be when you are in love with somebody and your parents have a difficult time accepting it. I'm not sure what your mother's reasoning is for acting the way she does towards your relationship, and I sympathize with your situation. However, as an adult, you must do what you know is best for yourself and your future. It may be impossible to make your mother completely happy with who you decide to marry and when, but remember it is YOUR decision even if it will hurt her initially. Try not to plan your future soley to please your mother, even if she means well. I hope you have the strength to do what you know is right even if it creates some tension with your mother. Goodluck!

Answer 8

maybe we don't give moms the credit they deserve when they tell us what we don't want to hear. i know that when you are engaged, we want everyone to be happy for us and tell us how wonderful it is. sometimes, thought, people outside our relationship see things that love won't let us. i would listen to mom and maybe give it another year. if the love is there, it shouldn't be a problem and you will have more time to plan the wedding. a long engagement may sound difficult, but often we learn even more about our significant other. don't hurry into one of the most important decisions of your life.

Answer 9

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?
Or saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart
If you don't, you might break theirs.

Too many of us hide our true feelings because we are too afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what theywould have done, or could have had.
*What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?

Answer 10

i've got been relationship my boyfriend for 2 and 0.5 years, and his mom makes open comments approximately how she needs her grandbabies, 4 from me, and she or he usually asks as quickly as we've become married. It would not hassle me as a results of fact that on a similar time as she is fairly open approximately her opinion, she is only being herself. in specific situations i think of it somewhat is a contest. as a results of fact that she does unlike her different daughter in regulation. yet whilst it somewhat does hassle you, point out it to her quietly once you're on my own. only say, look we've stated teenagers and marriage, yet i think of it somewhat is slightly untimely. If she says, "Oh that is in basic terms a shaggy dog tale, i'm sorry" then you definately're interior the clean, yet whilst she would not understand she's making you sense embarrassed than only enable her down rather.