I really like this guy I met online. We met for 1st time last week and seemed not to get enough of each other.

Question

We also talk on the phone evday and I feel like I can fall deeply in love with him. The thing that bothers me is I'm still insecure of myself and image. Like I don't have the prettiest skin because I'm a light-skinned black woman and have dark acne blemishes on my face that are going away so slowly. When we met we hugged and kissed most of the time but it was dark outside also. I'm so afraid for him to see me in the daytime but he did see me when we were outside by the street lights. He told me that I was pretty but I think its because he didn't see me during the day. I like this man so much and have already told him so and he told me too. I want so bad not to let my insecurities get in the way and tell him to stop calling me but I'm also afraid to tell him about my insecurities because it might push him away. I have been alone for a long time and for the first time in my life I feel so appreciated and special to him. I just don't know what to do. And I want to be with him so bad

He's a 26yo white male and I'm a 23yo black woman. I guess I feel unworthy sometimes but I feel that I shouldn't have to be so alone. I have no friends or any family to talk to because I usually just keep to myself. Can anyone please give me some advice because I need it so much. And please no bad comments because I'm already feeling sad and alone. I just want to be happy and feel real love from someone that means it.

Answer 1

Dont worry if he doesnt like you for looks then hes not right for you anyway

Answer 2

Sweetie, he must like u because he's still coming around and he told u he liked u, if he didn't then he would not still be around. I'm sure he got a real good look at u and liked what he saw, he too may have something about himself that he doesn't like. So u have to trust that he has seen u and he likes u a lot, but when he does see u in the light and if it makes u feel better make a joke about ur ance, say u was so excited about meeting him u broke out.

It has to be right because of the way u feel about him girl, u said this is the first time u felt appreciated in ur life so that must mean something =-)

Y don't u have a talk with him about the acne and ask him if thats a problem for him and that ur working at getting it under control. He may even tell u ur being silly to feel shame over it,

I hope it works out in ur favorite,

don't let this go without talking about it woth him first. Once you've done that the rest is easy.

And if u like to talk more just email me ( I'll be glad to talk with ya about this)

God Bless

Answer 3

As a fellow insecure sister, I have one piece of advice for you - NIP THIS IN THE BUD RIGHT NOW! I let my insecurities take over and it is SO hard to overcome them after you've had them for decades.

While an attractive woman might easily snag a man initially, if she's insecure she's going to attract the wrong sort of guy for the long term. The average woman with CONFIDENCE works a little harder to get noticed - but she gets the RIGHT guys because when you respect and love yourself and believe that God made you so you're beautiful, you're going to GET men who believe that.

And it seems to me that this guy thinks it. But remember - you've only met once. You need to be careful. Keep it very public for a while. Make sure people see you out, make sure your friends and family always know where you are with him. The Internet has great potential for getting people together who might not ever have met, but it also has the potential to allow Very Bad People into your life. I hope he's great, and it sounds like he is, but always protect yourself ;) Best of luck! And you're beautiful, I can tell from the way you write.

Remember, it sounds trite, but you are who and how you are for a reason - because God put his mark on your soul, and if someone really cares about you what's on the outside won't even be evident to them.

Check the link below, too. It's not spam, it's "do's and don'ts" of internet dating, designed to help you keep safe.

Answer 4

Just be careful with online guys. I also met and thought I was in love with someone off the net. I ended a 8 year relationship to find that the grass was not greener on the other side. Its hard because you only see him for a limited time so you never get over the honeymoon phase...till its too late. I am sure that if the man told you he thought you were pretty , and you have talked to him since that you have nothing to worry about in that area. Be proud of your skin and heritage!

Answer 5

In the beginning of all relationships there are insecurities. We want so much for the other person to desire and love us that we fear our imperfections will short circuit that desired outcome. Well no doubt he has insecurities himself. Join the crowd though, when you go to the grocery store notice how many people are just plain jane. Very few people are truly beautiful, very few. If he is the guy he is cracked up to be, then as he gets to know you... The thing that bothers me is how fast this thing has progressed. One week and you are in love. That is way fast. Real love takes time. You have to get to know each other. This is "We are so lonely and our needs are humongous" kind of love affair. The odds of this actually working out fine, well...I hope it does. I like happy endings. I only hope that the man in question is a man of honor who places your welfare above his and doesn't take advantage of you. I would hate to see you get hurt.

Answer 6

if you love each other then looks shouldn't matter, go for it let him see you in the daytime invite him for lunch, and don't be afraid to take a risk cause if u don't then ur left wondering why u didn't do it, and u'll feel bad for a long time because u let the way u feel get in the way of true happiness with another person. don't be afraid, if he loves then he won't hurt u if don't look all hot. just take a chance and see what happens. who knows he might like the way u look, he may not, but if u don't find out then ur left going all through life why didn't u go for it and see what wouldn've happened.

Answer 7

The bottom line is... if his love is true, then he will love you no matter what. If not, then you can have closure and know for certain that you don't need to spend any more emotional energy and time on this man. His 'not accepting' you has nothing to do with your loveability or your value/worth as a person. It only reveals his superficiality. But his 'accepting' you would show the measure of how deep his love is... that it is indeed for who you are that he loves. Keep things in perspective -- true love will overcome all insecurity. After all, isn't that what you really want? True love? Without pretenses? God bless...

Answer 8

I am concerned because, children use yahoo and they are gullable. You are telling a story about meeting someone off the internet and if children are here, they might think it is ok. I am sorry for the brief lecture but, I worry about children. Girl if the guy says you are pretty then you are. Put your insecurities away and don't share them with him. You are probly just unsure of yourself. Try some Proactive, it might help your complexion.

Answer 9

Don't be afraid to tell him about you face. Tell him on the phone...If it is going to be a problem for him than he is not the one for you... Please be honest both of you. talk to him about it. OK! People can be beautiful from the inside...not just the outside Just a not here: Can't you wear a make-up to make yourself feel better when you are out in the light if it bothers you that much...It would worth it to spend the money for a good foundation with a powder dusted over your make-up...I like wearing make-up.

Answer 10

Well, he'll have to look at you in the daylight sometime. Bite the bullet and set up something in the day and see if you actually do have a person who could become a friend. You need to take a good look at him, too in more ways than one.

You are not only your skin. Who you are is most important.

Answer 11

I met my fiance on-line also. The first time I met him was on web cam and i was so insecure in what he thought about me. we finally met face to face and i was so sure he wasn't going to like me. he is extremely handsome and i am a rather plain woman. i was concerned about my weight and the age difference. after our first date i never expected a second and here we are one year later engaged. Let me tell you something......do not let your insecurities come between you two. I almost messed up a beautiful relationship because i was so negative about myself. believe me it will create drama and trouble between you guys. If he is as nice as it seems , he will care about you on the basis of your heart .I feel completely comfortable with myself now.Relax and enjoy your time spent together. A real man sees beyond the surface and cherishes the beauty of a sincere heart.