Is my 3 yr old is behind?

Question

My 3 year old still cant talk, count, or say his ABC's, and refuses to use the bathroom. He is smart enough to hide around the corner and change his own pull-up but when we ask him to use his potty he cries. He does'nt want to learn and refuses to even attempt his ABC's or counting. He gets way to frustrated and cries when we try to teach him and will get angry even at the learning toys that he has. I catch alot of criticism and I believe i have tried everything. Could there be a problem with him or did I do something wrong?

Answer 1

I have taught children with special needs for several years and am currently working on my Master's in Special Education. It does sound to me like he might be delayed. If you live in the U.S., you should call your local school system's Department of Special Education/Exceptional Children and request that he be evaluated. They will do a series of evaluations and assess his abilities and development. I truly believe that early intervention is key and it could be that he needs an extra push now and can get that from speech therapy and a school based preschool program and then go forward in a regular elementary classroom. Good luck!

Answer 2

Tabatha, as parents unfortunately we don't get any rule books :0(
I strongly suggest talking to your pediatrician about these issues. He may have developmental problems.

As far as potty training goes, here's what I did. I took my son to the toy store, let him choose one toy. Perhaps you choose a few toys for him to pick from, make sure it's something that includes some type of FUN learning activity, and most importantly a toy that will occupy his attention. Keep this toy in the bathroom beside his potty chair. ONLY allow him to play with it when he's on the potty. You may have to put the toy up to ensure he doesn't get it when he's not on the potty. Also take him to the potty every 1/2 an hour to get him into the habit. Even if he just sits there. Maybe sing songs... Have you tried singing the ABC song?

Hope it helps.

Answer 3

CHildren want boundries. Are you "asking" them all the time? Tell them! Instead of do you want to go potty? 2-3 year olds are learning they have free agency-(choosing) so of course they are goign to say no. plus they love to say no anyway.
Now, say, "OK! let's go potty!" then when he does, make a HUGE deal about it. Praise, praise praise!!! I mean, get everybody in there clapping and cheering, or just you. give himea sticker, make a chart.
My 2 yr old was doing so well potty training, then he just quit! I was confused, because i knew he could control himself. i got really frustrated. and it got worse. i started yelling at him. I talked to my pediatrician (best in the world :) and he said to make a sticker chart, and when he got 5-6 stickers, whatever, 1 for #1 and 2 for #2, then he got a prize, like a special drive to get a toy or time on the whatever, maybe a water gun time or whatever. whatever he enjoys. when the chart is full, do more! it works. (just hide the stickers and chart, i found that out the hard way lol) when he has an accident, just say, opps! Let's go clean it up! come on! and then tell him (not ask) to sit on the potty, and let him know, you still love him, that he's not a bad person for goign potty. oh, and counting, count stairs when they walk. my 2 yr old knew his 123's by 2 months after i started teaching him. abc's eh, my 4 yr old still hasn't learned past abc. don't freak over it. Get dr. phil's book about potty training. a little different, but close concept. maybe his for abc's too. where do you live?

Answer 4

I am a Kindergarten Teacher and have two children of my own....one is two and the other five. Don't worry about the ABC's and counting. Learning from mom is hard sometimes for young children. My son refused to sing the song with me and count with me so I let it be. I still sang it by myself...loud enough for him to hear. He went to preschool and did a great job. He knows his abc's and can count to 20. He will be in Kindergarten this year and he does sing and count with me now. It just takes time. My daughter is the complete opposite...loves to sing the ABC's and count with me. All kids are different.

Some children just develop slower than others. My son sees a speech therapist at school. I started taking him to her when he was three years old. At your next doctor visit ask him/her about your childs speech/vocabulary-talking...then get a recommendation about where to go to have him tested. It may be that he needs to see a speech therapist for help. It could be just developmental and will come when he is ready.

The pull-up thing. Put them somewhere where he can't get them. Give him one at night for accidents but have him wear underwear during the day. He might have accidents during the day so take him frequently to the bathroom.

Answer 5

No, he's not behind. My boys are 2 and 4. The 4 year old didn't potty train til he was 3 1/2. I don't believe they need to count or say the ABC's til they are in the 4 year old preschool level. My son attended the 3 year old class last year. One way that we practice counting to 30 is by applying temporary tatoo's, they need a damp cloth held on for 30 seconds, I count out loud and he joins in. He has shown interest in the ABC's since we started reading the book "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom". He also likes the Chicka 123 book, and I just read today that they have a DVD for the numbers that is highly recommended for preschool age children.

Answer 6

First of all know this your son will learn when he is ready to learn. But you can encourage him by finding what he is interested in and using that to teach him. Don't worry about the potty training thing. My friend's son was 4 when he became fully potty trained. Now at six he's like all the other kids. I have a 5 year old who was potty trained by 18 months. I never used a pullup I simply put her on the potty whenever I went and kept her in underpants. They need to feel the discomfort. Pull ups I believe are too plush.

Answer 7

I have the opposite extreme to deal with but here's my advice. I think the "not talking" is more concerning than the potty training. There are many kids in my son's preschool who aren't trained. I'm sure he'll eventually do it. Does your son say any words at all? If not, I'd have his hearing tested. If he does talk but just not as well as you'd like, I'd say he'll probably catch up eventually, but an evaluation by a speech therapist might be a good idea. It also depends on his exact age. If he's just turned 3, I'd be less worried than if he's closer to 4. There's a lot of progress in the third year. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

I agree 100% with everyone who said to take him to a specialist because there might be a reason why...I know some Autism children react that way. But at the same time every child is different and special in there own way...so just keep trying but don't push..i pushed potty training on my oldest and it back fired with full force...i did the opposite with my 4 y/o and he did great!

Answer 9

Speak with his pediatrician. They may even schedule an appointment with a speech or behavioral therapist. My nephew has similar problems. His parents were advised to set up an appointment at Children's Hospital. He is to be seen by a neurologist just to rule out neurological problems. Don't put it off. The speech and behavior are the same as what my nephew is experiencing. He is 3 and developmentally only 18months old. Get it taken care of ASAP.

Answer 10

My 2 1/2 year old refuses to talk. He qualified for the states early intervention service. They come to your house and a speech therapist works with your child every week.Check into this in your state. I live in Alabama. I think one reason he is behind is because he has never been in daycare. Kids learn more around other kids.