there was this big lawsuit...and a bunch of other stuff. I got to the point where i cant see my family anymore. He lets me see my aunts and uncles but i am not allowed to see my grandma or grandpa from that side. they probably wont be here for much longer and i want to spend some time with them before she goes. But also I dont want to make my dad mad at me for wanting to do this. He'll probably say that one of my other family members conned me into doing this and i wont get to see any of them. So what should i do???
2006-07-19 13:20:33 · 16 answers · asked by Kayla J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hey
this is very sad. If you havent already speak to him, tell him that you really love him and how much you miss your mom, and how much seeing your grandparents would mean to you, the sadest part about death is that life goes on. And that means money and what ever is left over from someones untimely death. Let him know you dont want him to be angry its just things are very different, and you miss the old family life, if you want to have this fully listened to, write him a note, you can even put this Note in a sincere card! I hope this helps!
2006-07-19 13:26:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be unfair to you for your father to keep you away from your grandparents. You should tell him so. Tell him that just because you love your grandparents doesn't mean you don't love him as well.
Children should never be involved in the petty quarrels of family, and it's cruel of him to keep you from those you love. Don't worry about him being mad at you. That will pass: you are his daughter and he loves you no matter what. But he should not let his childish anger hurt you.
My family on my father's side had a falling out after my grandmother died. I wasn't allowed to see my cousin for a while, and we had been best friends growing up. It affected me greatly.
Eventually, my aunt let me see her, and we were happy to be together again. Now that we are both adults, we still talk, and are still close, and nobody can take that from us. I'm still angry at my father and his siblings for their ridiculous rivalry. He hasn't spoken with his sisters in years, and I think it's stupid.
Don't let stupidity get in the way of time spent with the people you love.
2006-07-19 13:32:13 · answer #2 · answered by militantfairy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your dad forbid you to write letters to your grandparents? If he doesn't, write them a letter. Will your dad discuss things with you or is his mind closed? If it is closed, you're left with seeing the grandparents on without your dad knowing. See if an uncle or aunt (the one you trust the most) will arrange it.
If you can talk about things with him, tell him that you love him very deeply and then what you said here. That you know he was hurt by things your mom's family did but you have feelings too and you want a connection with your grandparents before they die. I think it's great that you want to see your grandparents and hope you get to see them.
2006-07-19 13:43:11 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can talk to another adult before approaching your dad, someone you trust outside of the family like a teacher or a family friend. Explain your situation and see if they can support you with your dad.
I don't know what happened in your family but you only have so many grandparents and I think kids should get to know them.
2006-07-19 13:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by keyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit your Dad down & tell him what you said here, that you don't care about all the bad blood, he said, she said, that they're apart of your mom, the part he can't tell you about, that you want to know about before they pass on. that you both need to forgive them, but not forget, that's what your mom would've wanted, no matter what they did, & that your dad didn't raise a stupid girl, you can see through the lines, so to trust you, trust in your love for each other, that nothing will change how you feel about your dad if thats what he's worried about, them brainwashing you. you tell them the boundries of your visit, no rehashing, sh-- slinging, just good memories, he'll understand, & so will they
2006-07-19 13:35:48 · answer #5 · answered by silverfox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your over 18 the decision is your. I know you don't want to hurt your dad, but your grandparents won't be alive for long. You should express your feeling to your father and tell him that your set on seeing them. He may get mad but he will get over it with time, as for your grandparent if you don't see them, you will live the rest of your life feeling guilty cause you never got to know them, don't forget- time is never promised to anyone- They can be gone tomorrow.
2006-07-19 13:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by Patricia A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a frustrating spot to be in. Unfortunately your dad's in charge. Can you call them sometimes? Does your dad know you need your grandparents, especially now you don't have your mom?
Grandparents can apply to the courts for visitation rights .>>...
2006-07-19 13:24:32 · answer #7 · answered by mkayk55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your father to stop being selfish and arrognant and not to put you in the middle of something that you haven't done. You deserve some right to see them before they pass away and to let bygones be bygones. Tell him that if he continues to be bitter the way he is then he's going to make you end up bitter towards him when they pass.
2006-07-19 13:25:06 · answer #8 · answered by deviousbeautifulangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't think your father would allow you to see them even after you expressed your wishes -- then I'd just go see them when I was visiting my aunts/uncles.
2006-07-19 13:23:47 · answer #9 · answered by Starr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your dad... tell him that even though he has his reasons for not wanting you to see them, let him know that you have a right to know them and see them regardless of your age. If push comes to shove you can always ask for a child advocate lawyer and they can figure out how to make your dad pay for it and sue for your right to see them.
2006-07-19 13:31:06 · answer #10 · answered by cowgirlduchess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋