How do I keep my teenage son's love ?

Question

I am a divorced father. My oldest son stopped coming over when he started college. That's O.K. 'cause he calls regular.

My younger 16 y.o. son & I got along fairly well until I lost my job. He decided he's not coming over now, plus a disrespectful, sullen attitude.

I got no moral support from his mom, and I don't want him here if he's truly of a mind not to be here.

I sent him some books he was interested in, but he hasn't called me.

I'm miserable without him, but I don't want to guilt him.

he doesn't do anything but listen to Tupac & play videos all day. Not what I had in mind for my son.

I don't want him to feel guilty if something should happen to me, 'cause that's a life-long trip.

My point is there is nothing more important than family, and like it or not, we are. There are so many out there whose fater's don't give a damn, but I'm tryin'.

Do i give up & let God handle it, or what?

Answer 1

dont wait for his call. call him and ask if u can talk about it- man to man. tell him everything u want to. if he doesnt care, then dont push it. if u have done eveything, i guess its time to just let God take care of it. pray and in time everything will unfold. everything does.

Answer 2

You have his love even if he is not displaying it. Maybe you can pick yourself back up and start looking for a job asap. You worry about him listening to Tupac and playing videos all day.....maybe he is worrying about you too? Lots of times teens show us they are upset by acting sullen and a little disrespectful. When really they are feeling maybe a little depressed or worried. Show him the man of character that you can be and be the person you would like him to become. Believe it or not, you have an influence and he will follow it. Call him and tell him you love him. Talk to him honestly....hey we as parents are not perfect, it is ok for your son to know that, as long as he also knows you are working on it and that you love him. Make sure your actions go along with your words so he has trust in you. Good Luck!

Answer 3

first of all let him know that you need him, he is 16 and most 16 year olds have attitudes it is normal, don't give up on your son kids can see right through us as parents and if you don't care he will pick up on it and start wondering why he should care about himself or anyone else, as far as his mom you and she divorced for a reason so she really should not be included in your relationship with your son. Why don't you take him camping or out to a street fair let him see that there are other things in life besides video games and especially Tupac who I don't think that anyone under 21 should listen to keep trying he still needs you and you should tell him that he is one of the most important things in your life. As far as guilt we are parents we are always going to feel guilty just learn to live with it. Breath.......

Answer 4

Have you forgotten what it's like being a teen already?
It's not that he doesn't love you, he's just going through the motions of becoming an adult. He's at that age where it's not cool to hang out with your folks, or to be affectionate with family. Continue to see him and be there to teach him how to be a man, and in a few years, he'll remember that you were there for him, and you will be close again. Continue to call him and tell him you love him. Send him gifts, and go visit him, if it's possible. Don't force it on him, and don't be too overbearing, but make your presence known. Things are confusing for him, and he's likely irritable. Hormones do crazy things to kids.

Answer 5

It is your job as the parent to try to keep the lines of communication open between you and your son. You should pick up the phone and call him regularly.

Set clear limits as to what is and is not acceptable behavior. Remind him to treat people how he wants to be treated. Disrespect should not be tolerated.

If you have not had any support from the mother, chances are that will not change. On that one you need to let go and let God.

Answer 6

Talk to your son... Try to listen to his feelings. Maybe he is upset that you and your ex- wife got a divorce. ( Thats how all teenagers are when their parents have a divorce.) He might feel that you will forget about him now. Thats how I was when my parents got a divorce and they payed attention to my oldest brother. He might think he feels left out the family. So try giving him some extra attention and also try talking to him... Dont give up remember you are still his father that loves him and care about him. All teenagers are in that stage where they think they are to old to talk to their parents...

Answer 7

It is natural that teenagers want to be away from their parents. As they mature, it generally changes.

If you love them as much as you seem to then you may want to consider being more concerned about him and his feelings over your own.

Your question reads as though you are really hurting and while that may be true, please keep in mind that YOU ARE THE ADULT.

Please, for the sake of your child, act like an adult.

Answer 8

Send him a copy of this question. He may not appreciate it now but wait until he grows up some more. Don't give up.

Answer 9

Keep trying, he will mature and finally realize that you never gave up. He will need his father's advice soon- you can only be there for him when he needs you.

Answer 10

the best thing to do is to try different things but don't force him or he'll grow farther away let him come to u but don't give up or get pushy.