good jokes, storys, poems, quizes, scary stories, ect...?

Question

ANYTHING GOOD.

Answer 1

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Answer 2

Hi, Honey, this is Daddy; Pick Up

"Hello?"

"Hi honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."

"Oh, yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now."

**Brief Pause**

"Uh, okay then. This is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it, Daddy."

"And what happened, honey?" he asked.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on, and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser, and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh, my gosh!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared, and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool, and I think he's dead."

***Long Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??...Is this 486-5731??"

Answer 3

There as quickly as became right into a undergo and a rabbit and that they hated one yet another. The undergo and rabbit then stumbled upon a paranormal speaking tree. The tree reported: "i visit furnish you 3 desires slightly in case you will stop struggling with!" So the undergo went first. "I choose all the bears in the woodland are women." And all the bears in the woodland became into women. The rabbit reported: "I choose I had a helmet." Rabbit gets the helmet and the undergo seems at him humorous. The undergo desires: "I choose all the bears in the rustic are women." The choose became into granted. The rabbit says, "I choose I certainly have a bike." via this factor the undergo thinks the rabbit is the stupidest factor he's ever seen. The rabbit ought to choose for money and function all the motorcycles in the worldwide. The undergo says: "I choose all the bears in the worldwide are woman." The choose is granted. while it is the rabbit's turn to choose, he places on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: "I choose that undergo is gay."