We had big misunderstanding about our living arrangements before we married,he went back to his home state.2 mos. later I visited him and plans were made, however when I got back to my home state,he changed his mind, wanted his rings back.While visiting we got along as if nothing happened. Still confused about this change of heart. My plans were to move to his home state at the end of my lease which I could not get out of. He knew this. Also I was willing to commute back and forth until the time to pack up was near. I still want to marry him, but he doesn't. Says he has a new woman.Harrassing me now for the rings.
2006-07-19 12:50:43 · 30 answers · asked by chammy 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
If they were a gift to you, then you don't legally have to return them. And since he has a new woman and moved on, and it wasn't your decision to call it off, it will be very hard to find a judge that will side with him.
2006-07-19 12:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by jax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has been gone over in the courts so-o-o-o-o many times.
If the rings were exchanged with the SOLE INTENTION of the engagement, then the rings need to be returned upon dissolution of the engagement. If the rings were given on a special date ( ie: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, birthday ) then the rings can be construed as a gift for the date and the marriage proposal is secondary. So, if he ' popped the question ' out of the blue, you need to return them. If he asked on a holiday or a birthday, no, you don't need to return them.
I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. Personally, I wouldn't want those rings ( And this diamond ring doesn't shine for me anymore. And this diamond ring doesn't mean what it did before..... ) If in the end you did keep them, if it was me, I would probably hock them.
Good luck
2006-07-19 13:06:37 · answer #2 · answered by yodeladyhoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him back the rings. You do not want to marry this man. You probably think you do, that you can change things, that he will change his mind, but he probably won't.
The rings will only remind you that he doesn't want to marry you. Keeping them in hopes that he will come around is not going to work.
Do NOT arrange to meet him. Mail him the rings and buy the insurance for the package just in case. It will be money well spent.
You would legally have to give them back if he sued you for them OR for the money you received if and when you sold them.
Which would cost you even more.
2006-07-19 12:56:41 · answer #3 · answered by Aemilia753 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most state say yes, legally you have to give him back the rings if they are 'engagement' rings were given to you in anticipation of getting married (not as a gfit). He's a rat for calling off the wedding, he's a rat for having a change of heart, and he's a rat for being crass and asking for the rings back.
Etiquette says to give the rings back.
Unfortunately, he's not going to marry you, even if you keep the rings. If you keep the rings it will just remind you of him. Perhaps you can smirk when you give them back with the knowledge that's he cheap and he's probably recycling them for his next girlfriend. Get over him, he's a rat, rat, rat....good riddance!
2006-07-19 14:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by vbrink 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally, engagemennt rings are given as a gift. Once that gift is completed by the handing over of the ring ownership passes, and the giver cannot recover them (unless some condition is reserved at the time of the gift.)
That is the legal situation. What is the decent thing to do is a matter for you and your conscience.
2006-07-19 12:56:05 · answer #5 · answered by iansand 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Symbolically the ring should be given back, because it is kind of a pact, a promise, and if that is not going to go forward, then why keep the ring?
Legally, I believe if it was given to you, then it is a gift. There are no grounds for having to return any gift. I've often wondered this too but this is my opinion.
2006-07-19 13:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by Peter in La Jolla San Diego CA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would have to be decided by a judge, if he wants to take it that far. Some would consider them a gift, but some could say that it was a sort of "contract" to wed, that he gave you them to were once married and since the marriage plans are cancelled, then they are "part of the deal". If you don't want them, give them back but, if you want them, keep them until you are told by a judge that you have to return them.
2006-07-19 12:56:09 · answer #7 · answered by Becky C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although they were a gift and you don't HAVE to give them back, it is proper etiquette to do so. The rings represent a commitment that is no longer going to be made. I'm curious as to why you would want to keep them?
2006-07-19 17:50:19 · answer #8 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He changed his mind, pure and simple. The right thing to do would be to give them back. Especially if it is an engagement ring. You are not engaged to him, who gave you the ring. So I believe you really don't have a right to wear it.
Typical female attitude. Like mine is a typical male one, haha. (That was supposed to be a joke).
2006-07-19 12:57:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, no. Sell them, go out and have a good time, and find yourself a better man! He has some audacity, asking for the rings back when he's the one who chickened out!
2006-07-19 12:57:09 · answer #10 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋