I'm a bit of an emotional mess. We weren't right for each other, our lifestyles were far too different and I wanted out weeks into it. (Yes it was even short term, but intense!) we fell apart, and now I'm using this "failure" to sabotage my self esteem, my enthusiasm and my motivation - still! I've been on 'the podium' racing 3 times this season, I joined a funky sewing class, and even may be singing in anew band...I have loving friends, but I'm here at the computer more than I've ever been! Hiding out and licking wounds that I keep re-opening... Is this seriously wrong? Am I sick? tell me you've been here as well! (And are over it!) Thanks ;)
2006-07-19 12:10:08 · 4 answers · asked by paradox69 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I think the key thing is not to live in the past. That is easier said than done, but if you find yourself going over the relationship in your head, finding things to regret, etc., then you are prolonging the pain. Anytime you find yourself with those thoughts in your head, tell yourself "Stop!" and move on to something else to distract yourself.
And yeah, I've been there. The consequences of continually ruminating over an old relationship are simply too high to pay. I choose to look at events in my life as an adventure....
Sounds like you're on the right track, and have lots of support!
2006-07-21 04:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by mizchulita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Paradox, I've been where you are. I lived with a guy I loved a lot for a while. He kept me isolated, questioned me when I got an independant income, and otherwise used me for a live-in housekeeper/bed-warmer/trophy. And meanwhile he was constantly running off to see his own friends and family.
It hurt a LOT when I finally told him I was moving out. But once I did it and was living independently again, I felt much better.
I am now happily married to a man who married *me* and didn't want to just keep me for having all the benefits of having a wife and none of the responsibilities. I get out to see the neighbors, I go see things at the local mall. And I talk with him about things.
Get away from the computer and out into the sun with your friends. If you can, get a pet: It'll give you something else to focus on. You'll be fine, in time.
Good luck, Lady.
2006-07-19 19:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl.. i know so many people that have been thorough what u're going thorough right now! all i can give u is one word.. 'TIME' only time will heal your pain, to tell the truth.. i've personally been thorough this myself, i know it's killing u inside but there's not a damn thing u can do. try to go out with ur friends, right now is when u need ur friends the most because ur heart is weak and sensitive! give it time, it will get better! i promise!! best wishes!
2006-07-19 19:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by Jade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all it takes is time.
2006-07-19 20:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋