My wedding is planned for the 25th and my maid of honor says she can't make it because she just started her job, and she's on a probationary period.
We have changed the date and it is a little sudden, but she's done this to me before. When our date was in May she said she didn't think she could make it, because she was in the Navy and May was when she was coming home. We even tried to change the day to the end of May so she would definately make it and she said, "Don't plan your wedding around me."
She's never really been thrilled about it all either.
Am I being irrational, should I change the date, again, for her?
2006-07-19 11:44:11 · 9 answers · asked by believer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sorry, it's for the 25th of August
2006-07-19 11:44:39 · update #1
Why on earth would you even consider changing your date again? She has very clearly stated "don't plan your wedding around me", so don't. I think it's pretty clear that she isn't your best friend and she doesn't care if she's in your wedding. Maybe she doesn't like your fiance, maybe she's jealous that you're getting married and she isn't, maybe she just sucks as a friend. Either way, I wouldn't change the date of your wedding again.
2006-07-19 12:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whatever her reasons are, do not change the date again for her. It's YOUR wedding, and your fiance's.
Either she is hemming-and-hawing because she disapproves of the wedding or is shy about being in the wedding party, OR she is genuinely hampered by her job. A job, a career, is a person's livelihood. Cut her some slack, and have a forgiving attitude for her (at least for now). But proceed with your plans without her. Maybe she'll send you a nice card or gift. You can share the photos of the wedding with her later, or you can send her a videotape of the event.
The actress Victoria Principal had to bow out of her sister's wedding to report to her new job: playing Pamela Barnes Ewing in the TV series Dallas.
2006-07-19 19:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she flat out told you not to change your wedding date. And it's coming up fast so personally I would not even consider changing it. You have to think of who is most important...and it's you and your fiance, not this girl.
Second...a lot of answers have kind of attacked your friend. And I have to admit she comes off looking like a really bad friend. But I would suggest talking to her. Sit down with her and tell her that you can't change your date but you wish that she would reconsider talking to her boss. It's not likely that her boss would be so awful as to not let her attend a wedding that she had agreed to be in long before getting the job. So there must be another reason. There just has to be...maybe she is jealous, insecure, you never know. Maybe she's in love with your fiance. Maybe she is nervous that you won't be friends anymore. Or maybe she really is just a b*tch!! You'll never know until you sit down and talk to her, and I know it's a hard thing to deal with right before your wedding. And I know that she's awful for putting you in that position. But if she really is your best friend and you want to salvage the friendship the only thing to do is talk to her about it.
2006-07-20 00:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even during a probationary period, most employers understand previous obligations such as a wedding. It sounds like no matter what you do, she will come up with an excuse. Try talking to her and letting her know that you don't feel like she really wants to be a part of your wedding, but that you value your friendship and just want to know what's going on. No hard feelings.
Good luck!
2006-07-19 18:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't change the date of the wedding. Invariably, there will be people who won't be able to attend -- that happens with every wedding.
Of course, you would want close friends (such as your maid of honour) to be there. But it sounds like she's not particularly committed to her role in the wedding, and you should give the job to someone more reliable.
As she said, you shouldn't plan the wedding around her.
2006-07-19 20:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by epiCure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding - you should have it whenever you want to, regardless of her schedule. Perhaps she shouldn't have been chosen for the maid of honor due to her ever-changing work situation. Think about having a back up maid of honor in case she can't go...that should do the trick!! Don't change the date again, either - enjoy your special day!!!!
2006-07-19 20:06:52 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not change the date of your wedding. I would really have a close look at the maid of honor's friendship. She doesn't sound much like a friend at all.
2006-07-19 19:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by bluuezzz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like it's the best friend letting YOU down, not the other way around.
It's kind of unflattering when you offer someone the honor of being your MOH and their reaction is indifference. But you have to accept that this sort of thing just isn't your friend's "cup of tea" and leave her out your plans. (I don't mean to not invite her. Of course you should invite her. But just as a guest, like the other guests.)
2006-07-19 19:58:11 · answer #8 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should have told her new employer upfront that she had a prior engagement to attend on that date. It almost sounds like she doesnt want to do it.
Just tell her, "Fine, you will find someone else" then find someone who will fit the dress.
2006-07-19 19:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋