I am looking for jokes any kind.?

Question

example: yo mamma, redneck, sexual, humerous deosn't matter what kind best one gets 10 points...

Answer 1

Cowboy Logic

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Montana ranchers for controlling the coyote population.

It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.

What the Sierra Club proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated and let loose again, and the population would be controlled.

All of the ranchers mulled over this 'amazing' idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat back, and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those coyotes ain't ******' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em."

Answer 2

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

Answer 3

Three brothers were allowed to bring one item with them into the desert where they would stay. The first guy chose to bring food because he was afraid of getting hungry. The second guy decided to bring water because he knew he would be very thirsty. The third guy said, "I'm going to bring a car door so I could row down the window when it gets hot."

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Visiting the psych ward, a man asked how doctors decide to institutionalize a patient.
"Well," the director saide, "we fill a bathtub, then offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him to empty the tup."
"I get it," the visitor said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's the biggest."
"No," the director said. "A normal person would pull the plug."

Answer 4

a monkey,a dog went to god and pray to thee,
that monkey said o god my husband make sex three hours continiously so i became so tired and feel pain do somthing god.
god surprised by the prayer,the god ask the dog what is yours
dog said my husband made sex every where,he did not feel shy about this.god became angry
he call all male animals and told them every male animals must romove his male organ and gie it to the store and get a token,per month he submit the token and get his male part only for threedays,and must be return after thre days.
god give the order.that female monkey became very happy,it is now tease that husband,the date for that three day coming near that male monkey get very happy it is become to tease the female ,
that female ask his husband y r u very happy,
that male told her i stole a token for a elephant.

Answer 5

A good friend sent me this one today! Enjoy!

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/singingman7777/Beginning.htm

Answer 6

Whats round red and has seven dents?
*
*
*Snow whites cherry

Answer 7

Fu, Bu and Chu immigrated to the USA from China. They decided to become
American citizens, and "Americanize" their names.
Bu, called himself "Buck"
Chu called himself "Chuck"
Fu decided to return to China.........................................(i hope u will like it...)

Answer 8

you're daddy is so old, he has to stick his dick in the freezer to get it hard.

Answer 9

when u find send me also