my boyfriend of 8 years is asking my hand for marriage...and i immedietly said yes! we both love each other and i've just proved that he loves me more than what i know and expect..actually,he's a good bloke..he's the man every girl is looking and wanting..but the problem now is...im having doubts about myself if i can handle a permanent and serious relationship...actually,we had a really good relationship ever since...we haven't even had sex since we became a couple...now i am thinking if he deserves a woman like me..(i've got no bad reputation!)and if i deserve such an exceptional guy like him...think of mr.right and you'll imagine what kind of guy my bloke is..thanks for your help!
2006-07-19 10:45:47 · 23 answers · asked by peek-a-boo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
it is normal to get cold feet jitters i think every person does every now and again if it is a continuall thing and lasts for far too long then maybe you are trying to tell yourself something but it is normal to get these feelings xx
2006-07-19 10:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by dawnie u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are already handling a permanent and serious relationship! And it sounds like you are doing a good job at it.
I'm a big believer in you get the person and the relationship you deserve - you've put the work and the commitment and the love into this and he's responded in kind. You deserve your wonderful day (and night!!) with this man.
Now stope worrying and enjoy the lead up to it. Every girl may want him but he chose you 8 years and then he chose you again when he proposed and he'll chose you once more at the altar!
2006-07-19 11:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are not locked into marriage and "can" have any man you want you want him. When the thought of marriage comes up and he is the only one you can have, you aren't so sure. You obviously love him if you can't stop ranting and raving about what a wonderful man he is. You have been faithful and loving with him for 8 years and just becuase you are married doesnt mean it will change. It will make you stronger by bonding you legally and spiritually. Its cold feet and its ok. I am married and I love the thought of my husband being the only man I am with for the rest of my life. Looking is the hard part, be thankful for the man you have in your life and marry him. Good luck.
2006-07-19 10:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I came to this site and this is my first response, I am very spiritual and your concern got my attention.
First of all you should never think if you are the right person for anyone, as long as you like and want to be with the person and this person loves you and wants to be with you than yes there is no body better than you for this Mr. Right. Never doubt your self to be less than anyone else. Second if you have been with this person for 8yrs, guess what?? You are in a permanent relationship; you have been in one for the past 8 yrs. Last but no list, think back to the time that your boyfriend asked you for your hand in marriage and see if you told him yes because of one of the following three things, One: to please him. Two: because that is the question that every woman wants. Three: because that is the man you want to wake up with for the rest of your life and have his children. If you answered yes because of the third option, than go for it and have a wonderful life; love does not come to your door every day.
2006-07-19 11:02:56 · answer #4 · answered by Eyrasistible 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely cold feet. But, if you have doubts, then maybe you should wait a while to get married. It sounds like you'll have a happy life together and I can understand the whole long term commitment, too. I got cold feet before I got married but it's been over a decade and we're still together.
2006-07-19 11:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by mergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am glad you area taking wedding vows seriously. They are serious. Honestly the first year will be an adjustment learning to live in the same space, but other than that, you know him very well and I doubt there will be many surprises about him that you don't already know. Say a prayer, take a deep breath and go for it.
2006-07-19 10:53:52 · answer #6 · answered by tobinmbsc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's normal for everyone. Second thoughts are natural. Good luck with the relationship. Wear a double thickness of socks when your feet get cold and that should help. Maybe stop wearing open-toed shoes will help as well. Have fun.
2006-07-19 11:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Falcon Boy Toy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just now being scared of being "tied down" but in reality you've been dating him for eight years... if there was something you didn't like about him or the relationship I think you would have found it by now. You are also the woman of his dreams... again if you weren't I think you'd have been out of the pic a long time ago. You are just now seeing that if you get married your "options" will go away. You can't have your cake and eat it too... but you will at your wedding.... Congrats! I'm sure everything will turn out fabulous and you will have a happy life.
2006-07-19 10:49:39 · answer #8 · answered by miss_thang_05_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same types of feelings when i first got proposed to. I was like I don't know if I want to be taken or if I just want to stay single. Now I know I don't want to stay single and that I can't picture myself being without my fiance. We are getting married on july 29 and I still kind of have cold feet. You just gotta be sure you want this. If you arent sure then put off setting a wedding date until you are sure that you want to get married.
2006-07-19 15:23:08 · answer #9 · answered by angelblueyes200 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he picked you to be his wife for a reason. If you weren't good enough for him he wouldn't have stayed in a good relation with you for 8 years, right? He would have said from the start, "No way this isn't going to work." But no. He stayed with you, right? I think your just scared don't worry, OK? Marriage is a big decision, but a big step towards happiness. Trust me.
2006-07-19 10:55:40 · answer #10 · answered by dotbrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me as though you love him and want to be with him but you are afraid of what other people will say to him about him being with you. Or maybe even that you think he doesn't know what he wants and he may "wake up and realize" that he doesn't want to be with you. Ask yourself these questions:
Do I love him? Does he love me? Do I feel safe with him? Can I see a future with him?
If you answer YES to these questions then GO FOR IT! If not, then sit down and talk it out. GOOD LUCK
2006-07-19 10:53:11 · answer #11 · answered by weddinwarrior 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋