My boyfriend is good to me, he takes me out and give me whatever i need. But he is not affectionate.?

Question

we've been together for a year and it's hard for him to tell me how he feels about me. Is that bad?

Answer 1

Not necessarily. My hubby isn't terribly affectionate all the time (his mom was abusive and always remarrying, so he lacked stable home live). But he is when it counts. Have you guys talked about why he's like this? Maybe he is just really shy or insecure. Or he's been taught that "real men" don't talk about feelings.

Answer 2

What do you need? People seek out what they need in a relationship. If the needs match, then you are compatible. You seem to need more affection. The way to get what you need is to TELL the other person. As far as your boyfriend telling you how he feels about you, I'd rather have someone SHOW me than give me a lot of empty words. Talk is cheap! Actions sometimes speak louder than words. You said he is good to you and takes you out and gives you material things. All that is lacking is more affection. Does he push you away when you try to be affectionate with him? If not, stop trying to remake the man. If so, it could be the wrong time for him to be affectionate or something could be bothering him. ASK. If he won't communicate about it then you are probably with the wrong man.
Good luck!

Answer 3

Actually, its about par for the gender, at almost any age.

You can give him the best sex he's ever had (or ever will
have) and get nothing more than a "Thanks" out of him -
mostly because he hasn't a clue what to say or how it
is connected to his other feelings towards you, such as
love.

Do not expect him to be as connected to his feelings as you
are to yours. He might be, of course. He may be sitting on
his hands because something else is going on - but that
is very unlikely.

What women perceive as "sullen", men perceive as "wise".
According to Twain: "Better to keep your mouth closed and
have people think you're a fool than to open it and prove them
right."

Women are notorious for putting men in a damned-if-you-do-
damned-if-you-don't dilema. Women will want a guy to
really let go and tell her what he feels and then if he starts
to emote, they find they preferred him stoic.

Men aren't the only ones who use "Sensitive guy" as
an epithet.

If you want him to be affectionate, you have to be affectionate
with him - show him how to be what you want him to be.
He may or may not comply and you may or may not get
fed up wtih him.

Your next question may be "How do I make him stop!"

Answer 4

It is not a question of good or bad. It is a question of what your needs are, and are they getting met. Affection is learned behavior. Take a look at his parents and their relationship. It is probably just like that.

He may be a good person, but not right for you. Past behavior is an accurate indicator of future action. If you need more affection, life is too short to live without it.

Answer 5

men often don't speak so much in words. i'm sure he tells you in many ways.
it can be tough because they do tend to communicate so differently than we do.
what was already stated does tend to be so true; boys are so often raised to believe than showing emotion shows weakness.
you can help with the dialog, letting him know it's okay, without creating pressure. there's so much growing, learning and adapting in a relationship, and even though a year may seem long, it's quite infantile.
my husband and i have been together over 15 years now, and we're still always, and all ways, evolving.
it can be a joy, and something to treasure....

Answer 6

It just means that he has trouble expressing his emotions. Don't try to change him. Ask yourself if material things and being "taken care of" is the same thing as love to you. Do you need more? If he makes you happy this way, then it is not bad. But if you fee like you are missing something, don't force it. Move on and find someone who can meet you at an emotional level too.

Answer 7

It's not a matter of "bad." It all depends on what you want in a relationship. If you need someone who is affectionate, then you need to reevaluate the relationship. If you are okay with it the way it is, that's fine because it works for you. Nobody else is in your relationship so nobody else's opinion about matters. If it doesn't work for one of you, it doesn't work. If it works for you two, it works.

Answer 8

try this it worked for me

buy an agenda or one of those little note pads and write to him a letter and tell him that he can either write back or this will just be a book for you to write letters to him

if he does write back slowly hes going to start opening up to you but dont preasure him let him tell you what he wants dont question him or ask him why isnt he affectionate thats just going to make shy and forced to open up

some men think affection and love and all those beautifull things are girly or not manly because they are braught up like that be very patient

be patient but hope it works

Answer 9

I'm sorry to say, but he thinks you are ugly. He doesn't want anyone else to know that he's having sexual relations with such a homely girl. You might want to start dressing really slutty and flirting with men right in front of him -- that works almost 90% of the time. Just hope he's not one of the 10% who are wife beaters.

You may also want to try to lose another 60 or 70 pounds.

Answer 10

Some guys share emotions different than others. i wouldnt concider it bad at all, that is as long as he doesnt tell other people how he feels about them.

As long as your happy with everything else, and he appears to be happy with you, no problem.

also note that, most guys dont think like girls. they are not always thinging something, and if you ask what they are thinking. they propably forget, or dont really know what they are thinking about.

And to Bill. That made me laugh, but its not true