teenage daughter starting to rebel?

Question

im a single male parent my daughter has just left school age 16 she has a part time job but she has started to drink and stay out late is this normal please give advise help.

Answer 1

It's normal for teenage girls to rebel. And, unfortanately, what you describe is not all that abnormal either.

While it may not be unusual, it is, in fact, a bad thing. Most importantly, she needs a highschool diploma. the drinking is bad too, but perhaps less important (unless its an addiction) than a diploma.

Answer 2

One question: why the HELL did you let your daughter leave school at age 16?! What kind of parent are you? You do realize that by allowing her to leave school this early will affect her career choices. Not many jobs are availible for those without a highschool diploma.

Secondly, rebellion is normal. As a teenager, I know that we rebel in order to establish a sense of independance from our parents, but by allowing her to give up her education, you have basically told her that she could do whatever she wants to. She could get worse. She probaly will, too because you know she's drinking and out all the time, but yet you do nothing to stop it.

Maybe she wants your attention.

Mister, be the adult here. Sit down with your daughter, express your concerns, and make sure she knows you care about her and are paying attention to the decisions she makes.

Answer 3

Depends how late she stays out and how much she drinks. I'm not a parent, and I'm...well...16 lol but I'm hoping you'll take this answer seriously.

It's very normal, trust me all teens do this. Instead of telling her not to dirnk all the time and focussing all the attention on why it's bad, try giving her some breathing room. The reason she's rebelling could be because you're an over-protective parent. Face it, you can't save your kids from everything. The drugs, alcohol and whatnot are out there and they are easier than you think to get. It's her choice wether she wants to be introduced to them or not. There's really not much you can do about that part...

Besides, (I don't know if you actually do this or not) but if you tell a teen not to drink and keep telling them that over and over, all they're want to do is try it more! That's how they end up drunk in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. EDUCATE her on the risks (although I'm sure she already knows), don't just tell her not to.

Answer 4

The best thing to do is to sit down and have a sensible conversation/negociation. This will be an opportunity for her to address any hidden problems and an opportunity for you to hear her side of the story. Teenagers often feel as though no-one listens to what they say, and that they need to rebel to gain some sort of image or attention. I'm just eighteen and when I turned 14 and the world revolved around hormones, boys and school, then these talks wer often a chance for me to say stuff I would not normally say to my parents and to be honest.
The worst thing you could do is be judgemental or try and force her to completely do what you say. Instead try to compromise, for example if she returns to school you could allow her some free time out with her friends on the night, or if she completes a certain amount of homework (make her show it to you!) she could have a treat at the end of the month, or holiday away with her friends for a weekend (if you can afford this).
In particular look at what has caused her to leave school- is it bullying, a particular difficulty in subjects generally... Try and convince her that her present situation cannot continue and that she needs to be in school- but never be dogmatic or force anything onto her.
I hope you can do something.

Answer 5

im a 19 year old and speaking from experience yes this is normal. I started drinking around your daughters age but decided to tell my parents so there wasn' t ne sneaking around. The fact that you know about it is a good thing, it takes away some of the risk and excitement thats involved in underage drinking. The simple fact is that young people are starting to drink at a younger age now and there is no point forbidding it as it will happen behind your back anyway. I suggest you let her know you're ok with her drinking but you would like to know where she is and when she'll be back that to me sounds reasonable, it worked in my family i hope it works for you!

Answer 6

all teenagers go thru their periods of rebellion. but as her father you need to show her who is boss. she lives under your roof and what u say goes, bottom line. now the question is how would you feel if your daughter turned out to be a bum because of a lack of education?

on another note, i really do feel, if you have to ask this question you probably don't give her enough attention for her do to something this BOLD, by dropping out of high school. she's testing you so you need to get her on the right path. if she won't listen to you have someone else explain she will regret not finishing high school. i regretted it and it took me some time to get back on track, and may i add i used to beat myself up for being so wrong, and so naive. now, in my late twenties, i have a degree and working towards another. it was rough getting here (long story). so while she has the chance help your daughter!! tell her enjoy being a teenager by going and finishing school, the way things are suppose to be done at her age.

Answer 7

At 16, I lived with my father and just about did as I wished- at no fault to my dad. He had no way to control me short of tieing me up. I could stay up all night until he went to sleep then snuck out, or I'd "miss" the city bus or be "shanghaied" by friends regularly.

My father was very adamant when it came to staying in school and obeying the rules. I couldn't come in a minute late anytime without getting griped at and grounded (of course I pretended not to listen and snuck out soon as I could). I went without most of my prized possessions most of the time.

My point is that there didn't seem much my father could do, but he tried his best and not once did he "give in". I believe I should add that my father was not so hard that I couldn't hug him at any age and I believe that helped. Even at 16, I showed tremendous respect for my father when I spoke of him, and that respect has never faltered.

So my advice is to stand firm how you feel and just like you had to do when she was little- be consistent with love. I'm a better person because of my father.

Answer 8

Well really they try and push you to see how far they can. Just be a little harsher on her and talk to her about it, dont have a go at her cause she will then do it more just to get to you. Maybe she needs a full time job or attend a college to fill her time. You are not a bad parent and you have done well. Children are hard work no matter what age they are. Communication is great and you get far with it. Try talking and see what happens. Good lUCK

Answer 9

I have two daughters, although they are no longer teenagers, they went through the same things. You don't want to push your daughter away from you, this will happen if you get too heavy with her. Talk calmly with her, expressing your concerns, make sure she understands your main worry is her safe being; 'Yes have a drink, but always be in control, make sure you can get home safely, either with a friend or enough money for a cab.'

Answer 10

Yes it is normal for kids to rebel in the teenage years. You have to try and control her with discipline and love. She should be encouraged to continue in school if she has left permanently because 16 is too young to be finished with education. She may just be trying to figure out how she fits in in the world and will grow out of it in time.