I am 20 and so is my bf we have been dating for 3 weeks however this past Monday he was sentenced to 25 yrs 11mo and 29days to prison without the possibility of parole. During our conversation last night he asked me to marry him while getting ready to answer it said he had one minute left so he told me to answer tonight...I don't know what to do...should I wait on him or what? PLS HELP ME ASAP!!
2006-07-19 09:37:08 · 28 answers · asked by Searching 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
3 weeks of dating and you're actually considering it? Trust me. There will be other men. Men who don't go to jail. Men who are worthy of being a part of society instead of getting locked up for doing stupid *** **** that makes them think they are a man. Do yourself a favor. Go back, tell him no way, you've only been together for 3 weeks and you're not going to ruin the rest of your life making a stupid decision in one day. Then move on. Date other people. Tell him you can be friends but do not go visit him every week. You have a life to live. He no longer has one until he's released. And you will have found someone better way before he gets released.
2006-07-19 09:43:33 · answer #1 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If it's love, you'll wind up waiting no matter what anyone says and you might be right....Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.
If I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees.
2006-07-20 02:32:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No no no NO NO.
Are you kidding me. That is insane. What do you think marriage is? It is mutual respect. What kind of respect is there for a guy that by the time he is 20, has already flushed his life. The only reason he wants to marry you now is conjugal visits. What if something happens and you get pregnant. You do not have the right to ruin the life of a child because you have the hots for some bad boy loser. If you do this please get yourself fixed so that while you are ruining your life you don't ruin a child's as well.
Having said that I think that there is more to the story than that. Was he out on bail? He had to have been going to trial at the time you met him, unless you work at the jail or prison. If that is the case you should know better than to even ask.
2006-07-19 09:45:35 · answer #3 · answered by Bean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who was involved with one x-con and one who was very much so wanted, let me tell you it is not worth it. Especially if you have only been together 3 weeks and he has NO POSSIBILITY of parole. I mean, can you really be happy for the next 26 years of your life (until your mid-40's) having a writing letters and one visit a week on the weekends marriage? I'm not saying he doesntt love you or want to marry you, but it was most likely a gut response to his being sentenced. You are what he needs to stay strong and he is afraid (and rightfully so) that you will not be there for him forever, so he proposes.
2006-07-19 09:43:19 · answer #4 · answered by his_girlfriend 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
....ok let me get this straight. You have been dating for 3 weeks?! Hunnie, that is NOT long enough for anyone to get married. You're 20! You have your whole life ahead of you, do you really want to be married to a guy who is going to be in prison for the next 25 years? If I were you, I'd say no. That doesn't mean you guys can't still date, talk, write to each other. But marriage...I think you'd regret that very much if you said yes. Good luck.
2006-07-19 09:41:52 · answer #5 · answered by stephanielara87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's an odd number. Why were you dating a guy who was standing trial for a serious crime? I'm guessing this question is a put-on, but I'm going to answer it seriously anyway.
Given that you've invested a grand total of three weeks in this guy so far, unless you're absolutely madly in love with him, why are you even asking this question? Leave him, find a decent guy. If you are madly in love with him, you're proabably going to do this anyway, whatever I say. With luck and good behavior, he might be out on parole in 10-20 years. You'll be somewhere in your 30's, will have seen him only on occasional visits for nearly half your life, and then you'll get to find out whether this guy is really as dangerous as the jury and judge thought he was.
2006-07-19 09:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well why wait around for a possibility that you might get married when he gets out. There are tons of other guys that are just as good or better that aren't in jail, there is a reason why he is in there. you have to think if it is right and if it will make You happy? I don't know the whole story of course but three weeks is not long to get to know someone, yes you might love him, but you might love him because what he has told you. which isn't that much considering that you have only dated three weeks. really how much can you spill in that time.
2006-07-19 09:45:42 · answer #7 · answered by kimber g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a joke question right? You posted this question to see how many of us would spaz out, admit it.
Other wise, you gotta be ******* nuts if you are honestly and truly considering this!! Where is your mother!! Don't you have any friends!! THREE WEEKS isn't long enough to accept a marriage proposal from a guy NOT headed to jail until he's 55. You really must be joking. I don't have enough time to tell you what's wrong with that situation.
You know what, go ahead. Marry the SOB, you deserve each other if you are stupid enough to really and honestly have posted this question for real.
Anyway, thanks for the 2 points. That's more than you are going to get out of your upcoming marriage.
2006-07-19 09:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you even considering marriage with a person that had gotten himself in so much trouble? He had to have committed a serious crime to be in there that long. Are you really willing to wait 26years...ALONE? Even if you do go visit him it will not be the same. This will only ruin your life. You are young and the only reason he is doing this is because he wants to know he has someone "waiting" for him. Don't waste your time or your life on a low-life like this,
2006-07-19 10:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say no and when you are out and have your **** together ask me again. Now I want to say this...Do you really wait for someone who is going to spend a year in jail. I mean when he gets out he is going to have a supper hard time finding a job, your probably going to have to support him for a while and in the mean time you might meet someone who has a good job, no chance of going to jail and already has there **** together . Now granted things could have a fairy tail ending for you and this BF but don't you want to keep your options open? But back to your question....Hell no don't accept a proposal from a guy who is in jail who is probably only asking at this moment because he is affraid you might find something better. Make him wait and prove his worthiness to you.
2006-07-19 09:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by Knock Knock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋