this question is for mothers with girls 10 years of age to 13 years of age?

Question

my daughter just turned 10 and has never realy given me problems with her behavor. I have had more battles with my young son. But latly she talks back, if I get on to her for her room being a mess , she starts cring and says that she is crying because I am fussing at her. My goodness, I have asked her and aked her to keep her room clean. If I get on to her about other things, she always has something to say instead of "yes mam" . She has developed an attitude lately and it is driving me crazy! She just seems so different. Is it hormones already? She gets so upset when I get on to her. Maybe I let her get away with somethings in the past because she never gave me much problems. Now she can't stand it when I have to correct her. Can they start their period at 10. Have any mothers out there had that happen. she hasn't yet but her attitude is just so different. She is already developing so I wonder if it is hormones. Help , she is driving me crazy!

Answer 1

To be honest when I was reading your question I had to check and make sure that I hadnt written it. My daughter is 11 (just turned 11 in may) and she is doing the same exact thing. It feels like the respect she used to have has flown out the window. It is like a never ending battle. Almost like the words "yes maam" has flown out of her vocabulary. I think that it is hormones. But here is how I am dealing with this. If my daughter is old enough to argue and think that she is old enough to be responsible for herself then we (my husband and I) will give her something to be responsible for. We have prepared a work chart for her. For every chore that she does she earns a set amount of money. We actually give her monopoly money through the month. At the end of the month we add up how much she has earned through the month and she pays bills first. She pays rent, electricity, food, and misc. after she pays her bills then we take how much she had left and divide that in half and that is how much she is left with. The more chores she does the more money she earns. We do not force her to do the chores she has to choose them. If she doesnt do enough to pay her bills then the next month she has to do more work to make up for the previous month as well as the current month.

This not only allows her to see what I have to do but teaches her responsibility and what the real world is like preparing her for when she becomes an adult. I can give you a more detailed explanation if you like with the amounts. Just email me at [e-mail]
The attitude hasnt totally adjusted but it has gotten bearable.

Answer 2

You may have answered your own question. Your daughter is growing up, not only physically, but is becoming more independent. This is a normal part of adolescence. She is more sensitive and her feelings are easily hurt. She is at that stage where she is no longer a little child, but not quite an adult. She's testing her wings, so to speak. Her moodiness and crying spells are part and parcel of this developmental stage. And yes, girls can mature physically at ten or eleven years of age.

Your daughter wants to make her own choices, and you can let her do that to a certain extent. Lay off the room cleaning for now. If you can't stand to look at it, just keep her door closed. There will come a time when she'll take pride in having a pretty room to show off to her friends. Don't "get on her". Instead give her some say in certain things. Ask her if she wants to take the trash out now, or later. Does she want to wear her green sweater or the brown one? Would she like macaroni for dinner, or hot dogs. Ask her advice about what she thinks are healthy things to eat. In these small ways, you are showing respect for her judgment, and in turn, she will treat you with more respect, and you'll see less of the attitude problem. But cheer up, mom -- this phase doesn't last forever. There will come a time when you will establish a good rapport with your daughter. Ease up on her now, and stop trying to correct every little thing she does. Let her learn by some of her own mistakes. And above all, give her lots of love and praise when she does things that please you. Don't let the hormones take over. A mother and daughter relationship is one of the most satisfying there is, and this is a great time to develop and nurture it.

Answer 3

Yep, definitely hormones. Good luck! I know lots of girls who got their periods at 9 and 10 years old. Has she started growing breasts yet? Usually the period shows up 2 years after the breast tissue starts to develop.

She's getting hormonal and that is when you need to start backing off a bit in terms of "being on her" about stuff. Type up a chore list so that she knows what you expect of her, and so you don't have to be on her all the time.

On the list, put chores down the first column and then 7 columns for Monday-Sunday. If she wants her allowance she must have 7 checks for each day for keeping her room tidy. This way, you won't have to be on her everyday, but she will know that before bed, you'll be checking her room to see if she gets a checkmarkf for that day. She is also only 10, so don't expect TOO much or an extensive cleaning - just keeping her room TIDY should be sufficient at her age.

Answer 4

Your daughter sounds just like my 10 year old granddaughter. She does the exact same thing when corrected and always comes back with some remark instead of taking "no" for an answer...I guess they are all the same at this age of going into the "preteen" years. They know everything ....at least they think they do.. I wonder if your daughter knows my granddaughter...lol
I think the kids of today are growing up quicker than before....It may very well be possible that puberty is starting earlier...Her best friend started menstruating a few months ago and she is 11 years old...My granddaughter is okay as long as she gets her way about everything...She is the same way with her mother, father and brother....I take care of her while school is out and her parents work....I know where you are coming from...I wonder if alot of their trouble is from boredom...I don't have an answer for you, but I want you to know that you are not alone in this...Good luck and God Bless You!

Answer 5

This is my daughter to a T, she is also 10. I don't know what to do about this. My sister started her period at 10 but she really didn't go crazy like my daughter. The room is huge issue in my house as well. Even when she does clean it she hides things in drawers and behind the furniture. She always talks back with this attitude even if I'm being nice to her. I've tried every punishment I know of and nothing helps. I just hope she grows out of this soon. I hope your does as well because I know exactly how you feel.

Answer 6

First let me say, I have 4 boys(20,18,17,4) and 1 daughter(10) and also have 3 sisters (45,43,myself,30)
Yes she can "become a woman @ 10" but that's not the problem. She is a pre-teen and she is finding her personailty, likes,dislikes and etc. Mom, let her be herself for right now. For as much as its going to do your head in...let the room become a pig's pen and when her girlfriends or whoever come around and comment on what a pig she is, it will end. Remember mom, her room has a door and just shut it.
Remember the hard times you had growing up and just try to be 100% more supportive then your parents were with you. Turn the other cheek, bite your tounge and it will pass UNLESS she gets hurtful with you, then pull her up on it and let her know you are giving her her space and RESPECTING her as a growing PERSON and you expect the same.
Inclosing let me add this, my sons have never been arrested nor have time for drugs, booze and don't chase girls and we (I don't mean to offend but), we have never spent a day in church. My son's friends always come to my husband or myself with problems and we have been able to help.
Be real with your kids and express your feelings openly and they in return will respond. It isn't going to change overnight but as soon as your daughter sees that she isn't ruffling your feathers and you aint ruffleing your feathers over the small stuff, all will be quite and you will see that you and she will become very close during a very hard time as she grows-up. The age between 10 and 16 sucks anyways, try to make it easy ! :)

Answer 7

I am going thru this as well, nothing I did worked until I stopped reacting to her moods. All the drama is a manipulation tactic to get what she wants. Let her throw her fit in her room. As far as the room goes, take everything out of it and do a makeover after you give her a deadline to do so. Don't tell her the consequences though. Just do it when she is gone. After she gets the walls washed, windows and such. Maybe paint, this could give you some good time together talking about how you are redecortating as she earns her things back by maintaining the room. Everything that goes back in gradually should be organized before she gets anymore of it. Good time to spring clean. Anyway, i used to nag, I hated that myself by the way, now I will talk to mine when she is calm and only when she is calm. Set the example, you will be closer in the long run.

Answer 8

Sounds like puberty to me. Yes, girls that age can start their period. As far as how to deal with it....that's the hard part! Maybe you could get some books about puberty,that the two of you could read together. She may be confused about what's happening to her, and that could make the moodiness worse. Mothers and daughters seem to butt heads at that age, and it could last for a few more years. My advice would be to pick your battles wisely. Maybe let the room go a little. She needs to feel like she has some control over at least part of her life. At the same time, give her a little more responsibility to go along with her "grown-up" attitude. Good luck!

Answer 9

Well, my 11 year old was literally a picture perfect kid, until this year. Everything you have written about is now my life. But since she's still easy to talk to, I haven't yet had to discipline her too much. Lucky me.

Now I also have a 14 year old daughter who's given me grief since about 8 years old. I've done everything possible but lock her away in her room for life (not that I'd consider it, .... lol ... ok yes I did I'm sure at one point) So, if you think you have it bad now, wait...........it got worse for me. Not to say it will, but best to nip her attitude now, while your daughter is still somewhat easy to get along with.

As for starting periods at 10, yes they can and yes it's normal nowadays. I started at 10, my eldest started at 10 and it's any day now my 11 year old will start, as she already has had cramps each month now for about 3 - 4 months. Her products have been boughten and are now in the closet just waiting like my daughter and I are.

Good luck with your daughter. And be happy about this one fact, they do grow out of it, unfortunately that's not usually until they are older teens or even in their 20's. I think if I can make it to my eldest's graduation without losing my mind, then I can handle anything!!! LOL>

Again, good luck!!

Answer 10

It could be hormonal. My daughter is 13 and the attitude started at about 10-11 with her, too. Her Dr. told me that they will not start their periods until they start to develop so if your daughter is developing then yes it is possible that she could start at any time.
I was 10 when I started. My daughter was 12.
I have heard of girls as young as 9 (one of my cousins) So, just make sure she is aware and knows how to handle it.

You can always talk to the Dr. if you have any questions and make sure your daughter knows that she can talk to you about everything that is going on with her.
Make sure she isn't having problems with someone that could be adding to the behavior, too. It could be a combination or hormones and problems with friends or that she is having trouble ewith something. The best thing is communication!! It could just be that she isn't sure how to deal with all the changes going on with her body and she is embarrassed to talk about it. By you correcting her, she feels that she isnt in control.
. Make sure you don't let her get away with the attitude or it will get worse and worse.

Good Luck!

Answer 11

Yes, she is at that age where anything can happen. But you must lay down the rules of the house if you want her room clean schedule it every Friday she must clean her room before she does anything else.PERIOD. With the attitude just add on extra chores. If she does the dishes every day in the evening well she's goin have to vacuum as well, etc. She'll realize that if she listens & doesn't give you the back talk she won't have to do extra chores. Oh be firm with her don't back down or apologize for anything. Then go sit down and have a nice cold glass of iced tea, cause she'll be doing one of your chores tonight. Good Luck