John Kerry was scheduled to visit the Catholic National Cathedral outside Washington as part of his campaign. Kerry's campaign manager made a visit to the cardinal and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's position on abortion and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say John Kerry is a saint."
The Cardinal thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."
Kerry pompously shows up looking especially smug that day, and as the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his homily.
"John Kerry is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low intelligence weasel. He wrote a book and portrayed himself in the best light when he was a traitor to his fellow servicemen. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in for a medal. He married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known. But compared to Ted Kennedy, John Kerry is a saint.
2006-07-19 09:23:41 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Civic Participation
Not too timely, but I liked it...
How bout this one about media bias and spin...
President Bush hosted the Pope on his visit to America. They went out sailing and the Pope's pointy hat fell overboard. The Pope looked distressed, but Bush told him not to worry. He calmly got out of the boat, and walking on top of the water, went and retreaved the hat, much to the delight of the White House Press Corps. The headline in the New York Times the next day:
President Bush Can't Swim!
2006-07-19 09:31:23 · answer #1 · answered by MDPeterson42 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
gorgeous,yet you be conscious of whilst it includes the Clintons,they could desire to have prevalent that answer,as a results of fact their constantly sayin 'I" or Me".even whilst Hillary(ous) started babbling the different day in the previous NH.She slipped and stated "I" have maximum of issues for the country etc blah blah whaww!(the main observe replaced into I,no longer "we"!
2016-12-10 10:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, but i heard this one before, but the name has been changed. i liked the Detroit River one better.
2006-07-19 09:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. Yeah, so I laughed, but I liked the other joke better.
2006-07-19 09:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
arent you about 2 years late with this joke?
2006-07-19 09:26:35 · answer #5 · answered by parental unit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL-- Truest joke I've heard.
2006-07-19 09:36:24 · answer #6 · answered by Kennyp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was OK but u can do better about John Karry
2006-07-19 09:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That, my friend, is no joke, it's historical fiction.(i.e. could have happened but didn't necessarily happen)
2006-07-19 09:42:24 · answer #8 · answered by representin_gbg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one.
2006-07-19 09:27:50 · answer #9 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like it nice one
2006-07-19 09:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by pat o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋